What I Want in Life

(written May 9^th)

Hey Bloggers,

Thanks for continuing to read with me over the last few posts. I have so many issues and topics I want to talk about, I can’t believe I went 7 months without posting. This post is one that I have been thinking about a lot, and it really stems from my time over Easter.

I want to use this post to look towards my future. By struggling trying to find a job, I can’t help but wonder what is in store for me 20 years from now. Sometimes I feel like a real failure for being almost 2 years out of school with no job, no money, depending on my parents to help out with some of my bills, and being so far away from them.

Then again, I can see my life as heavenly blessed, and it really is. I have such an amazing family that supports my cause out here. I have strong friendships that carry me through tough issues. I have been able to make a life out here for myself pursuing my dream of becoming a top television producer. I am rich in quality people in my life, I have a loving boyfriend who has been there for the last 7 months, and I have had so many great working experiences. I know I am doing pretty well out here.

But seeing my life now, I can see great room for improvement. Personally, I want to be a better community servant. I want to find and fight for an important cause, I want to contribute to a church or volunteer at a hospital. I just know that my time to commit is not there yet. I need my own life settled first before I can help others.

Professionally – well no need to talk about it. We know what I want…

I want to live a good life. I want to work hard for my success, but what I eventually want is a good, big family and a loving husband in a strong and stable home. I want to be able to host parties with my close family and friends in my nice house. I want to share my family traditions with my kids. I want to share everything with others, even including making finger sandwiches for Easter brunch.

I want a life full of great surprises, accomplishments and travel. I hope to be a world traveler and live abroad. I hope to accomplish a lot from my “Life Goals Book” (yes, I made one for myself).

But with the rate life has been happening, or lack of happening depending on how you look at it, I sometimes question if this is ever going to happen. Right now, it seems like it will never come to pass, but I refuse to give up. I want to be able to provide a great life for my family through a successful career and smart investments.

I do not know what my path will be and how I will get there, but I really hope what I want for my future will happen. I know it is all in God’s timing, but I am not getting any younger! :D In fact, based on what society expects of where I should be 2 years out of school at 24 years old, I am not doing to well… darn economy.

Anyway, despite my long term goals being out 20 years from now, the most immediate goal I look forward to coming true is having my own room. I cannot tell you how badly I want to buy my dream bed with pillows, and design the room to make my room my own personal sanctuary. I look forward to being able to say that I provided that for myself. Just not yet…

I just have to keep my head up. As my Dad continues to say, “You’re time is coming.”

Until then… I will continue to work hard and dream about what I want from life.