Hey Bloggers,
Has it really been a month since my last entry? I swear, it felt like last week. Sorry about that. I'll catch you up in no time. It seems there have been a few things on my mind this week, and I want to share them with you.
First, in this post, I want to tell you about my mom's trip to LA! Yes! My mom flew out in the first week of November for about 5 days to come and see me. This is the first time my mom has come out here on her own, and it was truly special. I had such a great time with her.
Knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up, and I cannot afford to go home (not with tickets at 650 bucks, which is a flight to NYC to Paris!), so my mom found a deal and came out here instead. Let me tell you, it was just wonderful having a piece of home out here.
I don't know what it was, but I felt normal and grounded again when she came out here. I guess LA has a weird way of getting you lost in its small world, so when anyone comes from the outside, you are reminded that there is life beyond the city.
Anyway, my mom's trip was just great. We went to Santa Monica and rode the ferris wheel on the pier, had funnel cake, watch Casey's volleyball games, and went out to Smokehouse to see a friend's gig. We also attended some top 10 Volleyball matches at UCLA and USC as well and had some amazing dinner meals (can we say steak dinners and indian food?!)! And how could I forget, mom bought me some much needed things.... food... actual pillows for my bed and not the throw pillows I've been sleeping on to avoid spending money for the past 18 months.
However, the most important and meaningful thing we did was start apartment hunting. As you know, I have been dying to get my own place and just call it my own. I already know the decorations for my room, paint color, and future kitten's names. The only thing is... I don't know where it is I want to live as well as I can afford.
We checked out about 5 different places, and the prices for a nice one-bedroom are just too far beyond my reach at this stage. That is heartbreaking but a big reality check. I just want this apartment so badly, but to know I just can't do it yet, sucks. We came to the conclusion that I will stay where I am for another 6 or so months to save up and then move out with more of a budget, so I can afford the rent that is beyond my weekly paycheck.
We found this one place that was really nice. It allowed you to paint, have pets, and had hardwood floors, as well as carpeted bedrooms and was about 2 miles from work, with a grocery store only around the corner. What more could you ask for? Well, the rent was too high, so not yet. I hope to hold out for this place a few more months. Despite the challenging outcome of not moving out by the new year, I was so glad I could share this experience with my mom. I have never hunted for an apartment before, and it is encouraging to know that time of my life is finally coming.... just not yet.
Overall, my trip with my mom went so quickly, but it was so needed. I feel like I have just enough of my "home" battery charged to last me until Christmas. It is really hard being away from home on Thanksgiving, but I think this will be my 5th one away from home. Oh well.
I am so thankful for the support and love for my family. Thank you mom for all you did for me last week, as well as in my life. I could not have done it without you! Miss you already!! Cannot wait till I am home!!
Ashley
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Church Retreat
Hey Bloggers,
I just wanted to tell you about my church retreat this weekend. I know some of you don't like to read anything dealing with religion, so if that's true, do not read this post and stop here.
I was not sure what to expect from this weekend. I don't even remember if I had ever been on a church retreat at all. This whole idea of going on a weekend trip with many adults I do not know was a bit intimidating to me. It really pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
Let me back up a bit. I mentioned in a few posts back how I am starting to get back involved with a church in Bel Air called Bel Air Presbyterian. This has been a good church for the most part, but it is very Hollywood. This was Ronald Reagan's church, and on Christmas Eve, Megan Fox sat behind me. If that isn't Hollywood, then what is? Anyway, the church is great, but it is so much more flashy and "interactive" than what I am used too. However, with that said, everyone is really nice. There is a young adult service on Tuesdays called Foundry, and this is the group with which I went on the retreat.
Our retreat was up in Ojai, California which is about 1.5 hours north of LA near Santa Barbara. This are is beautiful and surrounded by horse ranches and cattle farms in the mountains. What is interesting is you are only about 5 miles or so inland from the Pacific, but you would never know it.
The retreat was very much like camp. I had cabins and roommates and attended worship services on our first night. The first night, there were about 100 campers, and I knew only one or two. We were later split into small groups, which was always something I have been very intimidated by. I have always found talking in small groups much more intimidating than larger crowds. Now here I had to talk to these 4 women about something that was so personal to me and something I never really talk about anyway. So the first night was just getting used to it all.
Saturday was a great day. We had breakfast at 8:30 in the morning and then listened to our first sermon. We had a great speaker who was funny and witty, but he talked about whether we were living our faith as orphans or as sons. It took me a while to understand this message, but I can surely say now I get it. He was talking about being proud of our relationship with God and taking pride in how He fills us in our life. This was a message I really needed to hear.
I realized I need to be more involved with my faith, not just by going to church on Sundays but by really trying to involve God and talking to him as I would my family, not because I have too but because I want too. This really hit home for me.
During the day, the campers were free to do any activities we wanted in hopes that it was time getting to know with one another and spending with God. I went on a hike to the top of the mountain where a cross was, and then did a quick zip line down the hill. I also played basketball, volleyball, and did a rock climbing wall. The rock climbing wall was definitely a challenge, but I eventually made it to the top, and I was really proud of myself. Then before dinner, I tried to spend some alone time just enjoying the area and trying to sort out things in my head.
Saturday night, we had one tough night. We touched the subject of pain and what its purpose was in our life. I was not prepared to get as emotional as I did. I ended up crying during the music part of worship and when we split into small groups, some of us were a mess. I guess I had to really face my insecurities and fears dead on and address them. This was really hard. We talked about topics I didn't want to touch, but there they were. I guess it was meant to be. At the end of the night, I felt like a whole weight was lifted off of me and I got great perspective at how to look at areas in my life that have been really bothering me. I am really grateful for that.
Then Sunday morning, we had our final worship service. We just summarized our lessons together with communion and left knowing we had a stronger faith than when we came. This retreat was totally worth it, and I feel like I am actually relieved of a lot of the pressures I came with. I feel like I am in a good place now, and I have God to thank for that.
So now, I am entering my week feeling relaxed and excited to see what happens. I will keep you posted.
Until then.. night!
I just wanted to tell you about my church retreat this weekend. I know some of you don't like to read anything dealing with religion, so if that's true, do not read this post and stop here.
I was not sure what to expect from this weekend. I don't even remember if I had ever been on a church retreat at all. This whole idea of going on a weekend trip with many adults I do not know was a bit intimidating to me. It really pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
Let me back up a bit. I mentioned in a few posts back how I am starting to get back involved with a church in Bel Air called Bel Air Presbyterian. This has been a good church for the most part, but it is very Hollywood. This was Ronald Reagan's church, and on Christmas Eve, Megan Fox sat behind me. If that isn't Hollywood, then what is? Anyway, the church is great, but it is so much more flashy and "interactive" than what I am used too. However, with that said, everyone is really nice. There is a young adult service on Tuesdays called Foundry, and this is the group with which I went on the retreat.
Our retreat was up in Ojai, California which is about 1.5 hours north of LA near Santa Barbara. This are is beautiful and surrounded by horse ranches and cattle farms in the mountains. What is interesting is you are only about 5 miles or so inland from the Pacific, but you would never know it.
The retreat was very much like camp. I had cabins and roommates and attended worship services on our first night. The first night, there were about 100 campers, and I knew only one or two. We were later split into small groups, which was always something I have been very intimidated by. I have always found talking in small groups much more intimidating than larger crowds. Now here I had to talk to these 4 women about something that was so personal to me and something I never really talk about anyway. So the first night was just getting used to it all.
Saturday was a great day. We had breakfast at 8:30 in the morning and then listened to our first sermon. We had a great speaker who was funny and witty, but he talked about whether we were living our faith as orphans or as sons. It took me a while to understand this message, but I can surely say now I get it. He was talking about being proud of our relationship with God and taking pride in how He fills us in our life. This was a message I really needed to hear.
I realized I need to be more involved with my faith, not just by going to church on Sundays but by really trying to involve God and talking to him as I would my family, not because I have too but because I want too. This really hit home for me.
During the day, the campers were free to do any activities we wanted in hopes that it was time getting to know with one another and spending with God. I went on a hike to the top of the mountain where a cross was, and then did a quick zip line down the hill. I also played basketball, volleyball, and did a rock climbing wall. The rock climbing wall was definitely a challenge, but I eventually made it to the top, and I was really proud of myself. Then before dinner, I tried to spend some alone time just enjoying the area and trying to sort out things in my head.
Saturday night, we had one tough night. We touched the subject of pain and what its purpose was in our life. I was not prepared to get as emotional as I did. I ended up crying during the music part of worship and when we split into small groups, some of us were a mess. I guess I had to really face my insecurities and fears dead on and address them. This was really hard. We talked about topics I didn't want to touch, but there they were. I guess it was meant to be. At the end of the night, I felt like a whole weight was lifted off of me and I got great perspective at how to look at areas in my life that have been really bothering me. I am really grateful for that.
Then Sunday morning, we had our final worship service. We just summarized our lessons together with communion and left knowing we had a stronger faith than when we came. This retreat was totally worth it, and I feel like I am actually relieved of a lot of the pressures I came with. I feel like I am in a good place now, and I have God to thank for that.
So now, I am entering my week feeling relaxed and excited to see what happens. I will keep you posted.
Until then.. night!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Awesome Work Perks - Classes, Concerts, Food Galore!
Hey bloggers!
I wanted to take the time to just update you on some great opportunities I have had while working at work. There are many reasons why I love working for Disney, but one of the things they are great at are offering activities to their employers.
Disney is really big about educating and enhancing the knowledge base of their employees because the smarter they are better business will result. Since I have started two months ago, I have had so many cool things come my way.
First, I am interested in being responsible for acting or responding if an emergency, like an earthquake, were to happen. In order to become that responder, I need to take certain training classes that vary from CPR and first aid to knowing how to use a fire extinguisher.
Since things have been relatively slow lately, I have been able to take advantage of my time and take some of these classes. I already got certified for Adult CPR, X-ray radiation awareness, and this week I took the fire extinguisher class. I literally went to the top of our parking garage and went after a fire and just sprayed it out! That was awesome! I was going to take First Aid, but conflicts arose. I am registered for about 5 other classes like Bloodborne pathogens as well. Other classes within Disney are computer training classes like Excel, Word, and Power Point. I haven't taken them, but it's great to know they are there.
There are also really cool treats at work. We have a cereal bar that contains about 10 types of cereal from sugar cereals to healthy ones. I just concocted a recent mix of Cocoa Krispies and Honey Nut Cheerios this week. Delicious!! On Wednesdays during the summer, there were summer afternoon treats. These treats varied from Jamba Juice to weird flavored ice cream trucks (i.e. Donut Flavored and Bacon Pancake flavored). We also have bagel Fridays every week. Bagels are not that good out west, but these are really decent! So in all, I really do not have to pay for food for breakfast, and it has helped my grocery bill a lot!
Weekly movie screenings have also become a great perk! This week I watched Ryan Gosling's Drive in our local theater room. That movie was really intense but good. Two weeks ago, Lion King 3D was shown, and next week will be Moneyball and Reel Steel... for Free! I have also had the chance to check out some movies from the movie library. I have seen Touching the Void, A League of Their Own, and a few others.
For the duration of October, we have had the "Studio Close-Up" program. These classes are taking some executives in various departments of the company giving lectures about what they do and how it effects the company, so we can learn more about the various roles. For example, this week someone from Walt Disney Imagineering talked about their process of Innovation and Creation within their future projects and work environment. I also took a Pinhole Photography class as it is one of the animator's hobby and he showed us how to make them and take the picture. We are developing our three photos on Monday, so I hope mine turn out alright.
Even within animation, there are weekly drawing classes available to anyone who wants them in the company. I have not yet attended these classes, but I would certainly love to try. They are usually a costume drawing class and a live-model class. I hope to take one soon. We also have guest speakers that come through. This week, we had an established book publisher speak, and I listened to a man named Dr. Snow give a lecture. He had his whole career based on the patterns snow, so he was able to describe its behaviors, textiles, and appearances for every situation and it was fascinating!
Then finally, there are concerts. Last summer, I saw the Plain White T's perform (Disney signed band), and this week I saw Gizmo in person, and they were just recently on late night I believe. These are small intimate concerts with bands that are within the Disney family or are just trying to spread word out. I liked Gizmo a lot, so I hope to see them become successful someday.
So yea, this is a pretty awesome place to work. So even on a slow day, one can always be entertained. I love how I can learn awareness of other fields, departments, industries all within the same company. It almost feels like being able to take advantage of opportunities around you is its own job because you cannot keep up with it all.
Anyway, maybe next week I will take a drawing class? Hmmm... :D
I wanted to take the time to just update you on some great opportunities I have had while working at work. There are many reasons why I love working for Disney, but one of the things they are great at are offering activities to their employers.
Disney is really big about educating and enhancing the knowledge base of their employees because the smarter they are better business will result. Since I have started two months ago, I have had so many cool things come my way.
First, I am interested in being responsible for acting or responding if an emergency, like an earthquake, were to happen. In order to become that responder, I need to take certain training classes that vary from CPR and first aid to knowing how to use a fire extinguisher.
Since things have been relatively slow lately, I have been able to take advantage of my time and take some of these classes. I already got certified for Adult CPR, X-ray radiation awareness, and this week I took the fire extinguisher class. I literally went to the top of our parking garage and went after a fire and just sprayed it out! That was awesome! I was going to take First Aid, but conflicts arose. I am registered for about 5 other classes like Bloodborne pathogens as well. Other classes within Disney are computer training classes like Excel, Word, and Power Point. I haven't taken them, but it's great to know they are there.
There are also really cool treats at work. We have a cereal bar that contains about 10 types of cereal from sugar cereals to healthy ones. I just concocted a recent mix of Cocoa Krispies and Honey Nut Cheerios this week. Delicious!! On Wednesdays during the summer, there were summer afternoon treats. These treats varied from Jamba Juice to weird flavored ice cream trucks (i.e. Donut Flavored and Bacon Pancake flavored). We also have bagel Fridays every week. Bagels are not that good out west, but these are really decent! So in all, I really do not have to pay for food for breakfast, and it has helped my grocery bill a lot!
Weekly movie screenings have also become a great perk! This week I watched Ryan Gosling's Drive in our local theater room. That movie was really intense but good. Two weeks ago, Lion King 3D was shown, and next week will be Moneyball and Reel Steel... for Free! I have also had the chance to check out some movies from the movie library. I have seen Touching the Void, A League of Their Own, and a few others.
For the duration of October, we have had the "Studio Close-Up" program. These classes are taking some executives in various departments of the company giving lectures about what they do and how it effects the company, so we can learn more about the various roles. For example, this week someone from Walt Disney Imagineering talked about their process of Innovation and Creation within their future projects and work environment. I also took a Pinhole Photography class as it is one of the animator's hobby and he showed us how to make them and take the picture. We are developing our three photos on Monday, so I hope mine turn out alright.
Even within animation, there are weekly drawing classes available to anyone who wants them in the company. I have not yet attended these classes, but I would certainly love to try. They are usually a costume drawing class and a live-model class. I hope to take one soon. We also have guest speakers that come through. This week, we had an established book publisher speak, and I listened to a man named Dr. Snow give a lecture. He had his whole career based on the patterns snow, so he was able to describe its behaviors, textiles, and appearances for every situation and it was fascinating!
Then finally, there are concerts. Last summer, I saw the Plain White T's perform (Disney signed band), and this week I saw Gizmo in person, and they were just recently on late night I believe. These are small intimate concerts with bands that are within the Disney family or are just trying to spread word out. I liked Gizmo a lot, so I hope to see them become successful someday.
So yea, this is a pretty awesome place to work. So even on a slow day, one can always be entertained. I love how I can learn awareness of other fields, departments, industries all within the same company. It almost feels like being able to take advantage of opportunities around you is its own job because you cannot keep up with it all.
Anyway, maybe next week I will take a drawing class? Hmmm... :D
Sister, Sister
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my sister and our relationship for the last few weeks. I attended a group meeting a few weeks ago where about 30 women talked about their relationship with their sisters were exploring the idea of sisters and what it meant to be one. This really got me thinking as I listened to the other women's stories about their sister(s), and opened my eyes to just how similar sisters are, and just how much mine meant to me.
This is not meant to be a mushy, gushy entry, but just one of appreciation. My sister and I have a great relationship, and out relationship has become one of the most sacred relationships of my life. I have never really had the opportunity to really think about it and examine it with other people, and it was a really great eye opener. At the end of the meeting, I was so inspired by everyone's stories, I typed over 5 pages of notes regarding the universal points of a sister relationship and how it pertained to mine. I figured I would share some of my points with you.
I figured there were 2 sides to a sister relationship: the way you support each other and the way you irritate each other. I am the oldest of 4 kids, but I have only one sister. She is almost 5 years younger than me. So based on my experiences growing up with her, I figured these were our major dynamics to our relationship.
Support:
* Our Own Clique: We are our own group within the family dynamic and we share secrets/thoughts.
* Momma Bear Protection: If it was needed, I would protect her from anyone that came to harm her.
* I Know Her True Self: you both truly know each other inside and out. I know exactly how my sister will react to certain situations before they happen. I know what her pet peeves are, and how to read her without a word being said.
* I Can Get Through To Her: Since I know how she behaves, I also know how to talk to her. Sometimes we are faced with an honest truth we don’t want to hear, but someone needs to say it.
* Enjoying Company/Shared Interests
* It is almost like we are each other’s battery life- we keep each other going and when down, the other picks us back up.
* Constant Admiration and Motivation
* She is Always There: Through thick and thin, I know in the end that my sister will be there for me.
Issues:
* Different Personalities: we may have the same parents, but we are not the same person
* Sweat the Small Stuff: small quirks often irritate you for no reason because you are so close to her.
* Age Difference Matters: sometimes it was hard to relate to her as I grew up or even talk to her because she was not going through things I was. What does a 14 year old have in common with a 9 year old?
* Attention Stealer: the youngest child usually gets more attention growing up, just plain and simple.
* Freedom: the oldest is usually more over protected and the youngest gets away with a lot.
There were a few other points, but I didn't feel like sharing them in this format. I think you get the idea though. There are issues in every relationship, but for sisters, no matter how sour the relationship becomes, it can always be redeemed. No hope is ever completely lost.
Overall, my sister relationship is amazing. Even today, we have been texting back and forwards as she is traveling with her team to the airport to play a volleyball game against Syracuse.
I guess it is also fitting to publish this today because it is her 20th birthday today. She is no longer a teenager, and so now, all 4 of us are in our 20s! Her birthday is actually the exact two-month mark from my birthday, so I know the year is coming to an end quickly. Wow, we sound so old!! I remember just ten years ago believing there would never be a day Casey could understand me, but look at is now. I really love my sister, and I wish her all the success and happiness in the world.
Happy Birthday Casey!! I wish you all the best and a Happy Birthday! I cannot wait to see you in just about 2 months time for the holidays!! Miss you and love you!!
- Your big sis!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Adjusting and Stabilizing Life
Hey Bloggers,
I hope you are all having a good week this week. I know I updated you on a lot of thoughts and topics last week, so I wanted to rest and come back this week with more to catch up on. Being that my last entry was about my new beginning and new start, I figured I would just catch up on how I am adjusting to my new work life and schedule.
Well, to jump right into it, my official start date was August 1st, and my first week was quite interesting as a lot was happening. I basically got thrown into the busy side of things and met everyone on my team. I love everyone I work with; they are all so nice. I had some immediate observations of the differences between the animation word and live action, which I will list at the end.
There were a few strange twist of events, that suprised me my first week. One was my team leaders are huge fans of Conan! Who knew? Once I told them I interned for him, they all freaked out. It is amazing to me that leading directors, writers and artists are fans of others just as much as I am. In addition, I found out one of the PAs is someone I used to work FOR as an intern over 2 years ago. This just comes to show you, you never know who you will meet, where you will go, and what you will do in this town. It further proves the point you should NOT burn bridges because you never know when you will work with them again.
Also my first week was really busy. I was just thrown into a busy schedule, which felt amazing. Just having a job and a purpose to wake up in the morning was really exciting my first few days. I really love my team, the project I'm on, and the potential of where this can lead. One down side to my first week was I broke up with my boyfriend within the first few days of working, which was not fun, and not the best way to start a new job. I mentioned this in previous posts, but stay tuned...
The rest of August was similar to my first week. It was just adjusting to the differences between live action and animation, adjusting to the pace, meeting many new people from PAs to the President of the Studio, and getting to understand my role and voice within the group. I am always self-conscious about raising my voice because I do not want to overstep anyone's boundaries, but my team is open to me saying things, which is unusual for a PA position, so I just need to find the proper balance. However, I feel that I have adjusted nicely, and I loved being thrown into the busy times!
Then September came. This month was about settling my personal business with the benefits and such. I enrolled in my insurances for medical, vision, dental, etc, and found a chiropractor for my back. I set up appointments and my finance accounts as well as future financial goals for the next year or so. I never knew how long personal insurance and finances could take. I really do not understand any terminology for insurance, so I am just asking questions to anyone and everyone so I can try to understand how it all works. Sometimes I feel way to overwhelmed to figure out how the world works, but I must in order to survive independently. These are the "real life" things college never teaches you. Thank God for my parents' help.
Another personal note continued from before........since September, I have been hanging out with my former boyfriend again! I really missed him. I am just happy that he wants to be in my life regardless of what happens to us, and I agree completely. I love being able to do the activities we enjoy again like football games, hiking, day trips, movie watching, music sharing and random attempts at homemade dinner meals. I don't know what will happen, but I am taking my new focus and just trying to enjoy the moment as it comes, which is really hard to do and not worry about the future, but I just want to be present as much as I can.
As for work, although it has been slow, I have been able to expand my network of people, get to meet some of the other PAs, and really just try to settle myself into the office. It is weird when I get job postings to my email, and I realize I do not have to look for them anymore! One aspect I really love about my job is being my own person, meaning, I am not someone's personal assistant. I am in charge of my own schedule, I can leave for lunch when I want and go where I want, and that is NOT a luxury people my age have in this industry mostly ever. I know how lucky I am to have it this way.
And now, it is October! Where did the time go? I have already been working over two months now, and it has gone fast. I am still learning all about the animation world and my future with it is unknown, but for now, I am really liking it. As far as going to the gym, it has been harder to go more so than I thought. I am trying to make a routine for my social life, but it is not always constant. I try to go to the gym 3-5 times a week, but for the first month is was about once a week, and boy I felt it!
More recently, I have also gotten back involved in my church life. I am starting to attend regularly to Bel Air Presbyterian Church because they have a great young adult following. I go on Tuesdays to their young adult service and then on Sundays to attend normal worship. I am going on a retreat this weekend to Ojai to meet others and explore other facets of my faith as well as the church. This church is not like my home church, so it is taking some getting used too, but I love having this stability back in my life again. It keeps me grounded. I am nervous about the retreat this weekend, but I hope it will be fun! I will let you know how it goes.
These last two months have, overall, been about adjusting and stabilizing myself into a routine/a schedule, but it has been really inconsistent right now. I look forward to when I am settled in my "work-gym/church-dinner-tv/crafts" routine. I just need to take care of personal business before I can do my crafts, and I am almost there.
I can honestly say that right now, although life is not perfect, I am getting closer to where I want to be with things. Life is pretty good right now, and I am enjoying that because I remember just how tough it was just 3 months ago. I love having a purpose with each day and having a sense of direction. I really like my job, my co-workers, my developing social life, and my few close friends, and that is a good place to be right now. I am now content with what I have, and I am trying to work with it. I am adjusting and I am stabilizing.
Until next time...
PS. here is a list of the first immediate differences I have noticed within my first two months at work. More will come, but these are based on my immediate reaction.
Differences between Animation and Live Action:
* Trust in the creative process - production heads take more of a "stand back" approach to the development of the film totally understanding the creative process will happen naturally.
* More equal team effort - everyone has a voice to be heard, all are consulted for ideas.
* Slower decision making - with years in production, decisions are not weighted as heavily or are nearly as rushed
* Non-rushed Deadlines - I can take my time with tasks because they need time to be completed & assignments are not needed immediately
* More details and questions - every detail is paid attention too because they have the time to attend to them. More questions are asked about character and plot than live action because they are not as rushed.
* Artistic Environment - there are paintings and artwork on every wall of the building. I am surrounded by color and characters. I cannot get over how much creativity I am surrounded by each day.
* Not as corporate - clothes are based on personal style and experession... or just jeans and a t-shirt. No corporate look, professional behavior, everyone acts buddy-buddy.
I hope you are all having a good week this week. I know I updated you on a lot of thoughts and topics last week, so I wanted to rest and come back this week with more to catch up on. Being that my last entry was about my new beginning and new start, I figured I would just catch up on how I am adjusting to my new work life and schedule.
Well, to jump right into it, my official start date was August 1st, and my first week was quite interesting as a lot was happening. I basically got thrown into the busy side of things and met everyone on my team. I love everyone I work with; they are all so nice. I had some immediate observations of the differences between the animation word and live action, which I will list at the end.
There were a few strange twist of events, that suprised me my first week. One was my team leaders are huge fans of Conan! Who knew? Once I told them I interned for him, they all freaked out. It is amazing to me that leading directors, writers and artists are fans of others just as much as I am. In addition, I found out one of the PAs is someone I used to work FOR as an intern over 2 years ago. This just comes to show you, you never know who you will meet, where you will go, and what you will do in this town. It further proves the point you should NOT burn bridges because you never know when you will work with them again.
Also my first week was really busy. I was just thrown into a busy schedule, which felt amazing. Just having a job and a purpose to wake up in the morning was really exciting my first few days. I really love my team, the project I'm on, and the potential of where this can lead. One down side to my first week was I broke up with my boyfriend within the first few days of working, which was not fun, and not the best way to start a new job. I mentioned this in previous posts, but stay tuned...
The rest of August was similar to my first week. It was just adjusting to the differences between live action and animation, adjusting to the pace, meeting many new people from PAs to the President of the Studio, and getting to understand my role and voice within the group. I am always self-conscious about raising my voice because I do not want to overstep anyone's boundaries, but my team is open to me saying things, which is unusual for a PA position, so I just need to find the proper balance. However, I feel that I have adjusted nicely, and I loved being thrown into the busy times!
Then September came. This month was about settling my personal business with the benefits and such. I enrolled in my insurances for medical, vision, dental, etc, and found a chiropractor for my back. I set up appointments and my finance accounts as well as future financial goals for the next year or so. I never knew how long personal insurance and finances could take. I really do not understand any terminology for insurance, so I am just asking questions to anyone and everyone so I can try to understand how it all works. Sometimes I feel way to overwhelmed to figure out how the world works, but I must in order to survive independently. These are the "real life" things college never teaches you. Thank God for my parents' help.
Another personal note continued from before........since September, I have been hanging out with my former boyfriend again! I really missed him. I am just happy that he wants to be in my life regardless of what happens to us, and I agree completely. I love being able to do the activities we enjoy again like football games, hiking, day trips, movie watching, music sharing and random attempts at homemade dinner meals. I don't know what will happen, but I am taking my new focus and just trying to enjoy the moment as it comes, which is really hard to do and not worry about the future, but I just want to be present as much as I can.
As for work, although it has been slow, I have been able to expand my network of people, get to meet some of the other PAs, and really just try to settle myself into the office. It is weird when I get job postings to my email, and I realize I do not have to look for them anymore! One aspect I really love about my job is being my own person, meaning, I am not someone's personal assistant. I am in charge of my own schedule, I can leave for lunch when I want and go where I want, and that is NOT a luxury people my age have in this industry mostly ever. I know how lucky I am to have it this way.
And now, it is October! Where did the time go? I have already been working over two months now, and it has gone fast. I am still learning all about the animation world and my future with it is unknown, but for now, I am really liking it. As far as going to the gym, it has been harder to go more so than I thought. I am trying to make a routine for my social life, but it is not always constant. I try to go to the gym 3-5 times a week, but for the first month is was about once a week, and boy I felt it!
More recently, I have also gotten back involved in my church life. I am starting to attend regularly to Bel Air Presbyterian Church because they have a great young adult following. I go on Tuesdays to their young adult service and then on Sundays to attend normal worship. I am going on a retreat this weekend to Ojai to meet others and explore other facets of my faith as well as the church. This church is not like my home church, so it is taking some getting used too, but I love having this stability back in my life again. It keeps me grounded. I am nervous about the retreat this weekend, but I hope it will be fun! I will let you know how it goes.
These last two months have, overall, been about adjusting and stabilizing myself into a routine/a schedule, but it has been really inconsistent right now. I look forward to when I am settled in my "work-gym/church-dinner-tv/crafts" routine. I just need to take care of personal business before I can do my crafts, and I am almost there.
I can honestly say that right now, although life is not perfect, I am getting closer to where I want to be with things. Life is pretty good right now, and I am enjoying that because I remember just how tough it was just 3 months ago. I love having a purpose with each day and having a sense of direction. I really like my job, my co-workers, my developing social life, and my few close friends, and that is a good place to be right now. I am now content with what I have, and I am trying to work with it. I am adjusting and I am stabilizing.
Until next time...
PS. here is a list of the first immediate differences I have noticed within my first two months at work. More will come, but these are based on my immediate reaction.
Differences between Animation and Live Action:
* Trust in the creative process - production heads take more of a "stand back" approach to the development of the film totally understanding the creative process will happen naturally.
* More equal team effort - everyone has a voice to be heard, all are consulted for ideas.
* Slower decision making - with years in production, decisions are not weighted as heavily or are nearly as rushed
* Non-rushed Deadlines - I can take my time with tasks because they need time to be completed & assignments are not needed immediately
* More details and questions - every detail is paid attention too because they have the time to attend to them. More questions are asked about character and plot than live action because they are not as rushed.
* Artistic Environment - there are paintings and artwork on every wall of the building. I am surrounded by color and characters. I cannot get over how much creativity I am surrounded by each day.
* Not as corporate - clothes are based on personal style and experession... or just jeans and a t-shirt. No corporate look, professional behavior, everyone acts buddy-buddy.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A New Beginning, A New Focus, A New Year, A New Routine
I have been looking forward to publishing this entry since the moment I wrote it on my first day of work in August. I am excited because for the first time, I am starting to feel like I have a new beginning, and with that a new focus on life that I am trying to attempt.
Over the past two years of struggling and job searching, I have not been able to participate and do some of the activities I have been wanting to do because I could not afford them. I put everything on the line for my career, including leaving my family. Well, now that I have my job, I feel like I can refocus my life and start over.
My new focus is: enjoying each day as it comes, try to live in the present, and try to better myself as a person physically, spiritually, mentally and socially. This may sound very simple and easy to implement, but it is actually quite hard.
First, as I said in the previous few entries, I have a very analytical brain. I analyze every situation sometimes to the point of obsessing, and it is a very natural process for me. This is also my down fall. It was almost my downfall in taking the job at Disney, it was almost my downfall in my first relationship as reasons not to pursue it, and now, it can be my downfall on how I enjoy life. I have come to realize that I live and plan way to much into the future (this will be another blog post coming up, just fyi), reasons will be for another day. But essentially, everything from high school until now was always about the future, or the next step. It was graduating high school, getting internships, graduating college, getting the job, etc. Now that i have the job, I don't have another step for a while to come except for my own personal goals like finding my own apartment or space to call my own.
Knowing that I don't have another immediate step for a while, I want to just breathe and relax for once and celebrate the fact that I am okay for right now. Everything was so tense with the job hunt and just trying to survive. I want to be able to slow down and be in the present because they future does not have to be figured out yet, or at least that is what I keep telling myself.
So in order for me to try and relax and enjoy life, I need to live in the now. I need to just learn to go with the flow and take it all as it comes. Being that this is so against my nature, I know it is going to be really hard. I just want to take this next year of my life and better myself as much as possible.
Physically, I want to get my body into good shape and treat it well. I will go back to strengthening my back as much as possible, hopefully by going to the gym 5 times a week ideally. I also need to take a better investment in my nutrition. It is not that I eat unhealthy, but I just don't put a good effort into trying to eat well. At this point I go grocery shopping until my food runs out, so what I end up eating are snack foods and not healthy choices. I need to refocus my nutritional habits especially for dinners. My breakfast and lunches are healthy, but my dinners are when I eat the worst: cereal, quesadillas, sandwiches, english muffins, pretty much non-meal foods.
Another physical point will be going to the doctor. I have not gone to the doctor in over two years because my insurance only covered me in NJ. Now that I get insurance benefits through work, I can go to the dentist, the chiropractor, various other doctors to check up on my health. I can now make this a good priority.
I am also trying to improve how I appear physically in daily life. I am not just talking about the gym, but I am talking about my fashion choices and makeup... the girly stuff. I need to go out and get heels, and try new shoes. I want to try new appearances and become my own image/voice.
Mentally, I want to reduce the amount of stress in my life (mostly from the job search), and just reducing the expectations on myself and the hurry to accomplish things. I just want to do so much that I become my own worst enemy, and this is not healthy. I need to be realistic, do my own projects, and just try to take it as it comes. Hopefully that is possible for me.
Spiritually, I want to get involved with the church I have started to attend regularly. I have been going on Sundays now for the last few weeks, and I really like it. They have a young adult program on Tuesday nights, so I want to make that a reugular event for me. I want to attend church retreats and volunteer for some organizations or events.
Socially, that is pretty self explanatory. Now that I have a small income, I can afford a drink or two, or maybe a day trip to the San Diego Zoo, etc. I want to be able to travel to different places in California and see what is around me instead of living in my apartment bubble.
So overall, this first real year into my career, I want to be able to settle myself a little bit. Take life as it comes. This new change in mentality is a huge deal because it is going to force myself to not get caught up in the future and just enjoy now, which I think I owe it to myself.
To summarize how I want to improve myself, I made a list of some weekly goals for myself:
* Read a book a month
* Complete a craft a week
* Church group on Tuesdays
* Gym/Excercise 5x a week
* Church on Sundays
* Blog OE once a week, and Tumblr for 30 min/day
* Bake treats once a week
* Make a real dinner once a week
* Take daily multi-vitamins
* Floss everyday
* Catch up on weekly magazines
* Become confident in all aspects of my life
Other future goals:
* Go home every 3 or so months if money allows
* Go to Orlando asap
* Read the Bible the whole way through (a life goal of mine)
* Finish Crafts
* Save for future room and apartment (maybe by new year of 2012?)
* See all doctors for health exams
* Take Classes at work for first aid and emergency training
* Take an ASL class at some point.
I think that is it for now. I am trying not to make unrealistic goals for me within this next year, but I feel this is a new beginning of a new year with a new focus and new activities which will make a new routine. I just need to learn not to rush life, and that is a huge challenge. I just hope I can apply it to all aspects of my life. Let's just hope I can stick to it.
I Know What I'm Talking About
One of the experiences while I was home in July that was truly cool to witness was helping my brother prepare for his first internship interview. He had an amazing opportunity presented to work for NBC, and he was basically going in with nothing.
Being the amazing older sister that I am (ego stroke here), I wanted to help him out with preparing for the interview. Of course, we didn't do this until midnight - 2am the night before the interview, but oh well, help is help right?
At first, I was so surprised about how little he knew about the job process. He had our Dad construct a resume for him, and had no idea what to expect for the interview itself. I was floored at how little he knew. How was this possible from a senior in college? At his age, I had already completed 6 internships and had probably been through 10 versions of my resume. Not knowing anything about the job interview process was not anything I could relate too.
So I sat down with him and went over his resume and told him what type of questions to exepct from the interview. I did role play and asked him questions that I figured would have been asked, and sure enough, when he returned home the next morning, he said all the questions they asked were what I quizzed him on that night. I basically was like, "See! I know what I'm talking about!!! Boosh!!" But I didn't.
I did take in the great pride that I knew exactly how that worked and just how qualified I really was. I guess knowing I had finished my internship with Conan 6 months prior and knowing how to conduct an interview proved to me that I am beyond that stage in my life and ready for a real job.
I was proud of my over-qualifications, but I was really proud on how I was able to get my brother to listen to me. It is really neat seeing him go through what I did just a few years later. I just wish I had the same help he had going into it.
So for anyone out there who wants internship advice... ask me! Haha, maybe that could be my fall back career if I fail out here.
Anyway, it turns out that he got a call back a few days later for a second interview, and then he got the offer! So now, he is gaining his first real work experience, and I am really proud of him. Way to go, Eric! I guess now we need to prepare him for an actualy job.... not sureif i qualify yet to help out on that one.
Until then...
My trip Home - Working in NYC
Alright, so I am going to make this post about my trip home three months ago in July. I haven't written about it since I was hired, and I have been meaning too. I really just wanted to write about my experiences working in NYC and seeing other productions.
I went home my last week in July to work on The Voice for the NYC auditions. The audition process was two days long, and it was a great one at that. Despite having a crew call time at 6am, I was upbeat and ready to work. Over the course of the two days, it was record breaking temperatures of over 107 degrees! Luckily, I was inside, but there were still some 16,000 people that showed up just for the chance to audition. On my first day, I was in the right place at the right time, where I actually got to see the auditions in the audition rooms, and that was a great experience to witness. Some singers were better than others, and some were amazing, while others were God-awful. I thought some who should of made it through didn't, and some that I didn't did. I guess I wasn't sure what the casting producers were looking for. Overall, working on The Voice was a great experience. The show was so well run; it was by far the most organized live production I have been involved with. I worked 10 hour days with not a minute of over time. They knew what they were doing. Hopefully one of the NYC singers will make it to the finals!
The other experience I had while I was home was meeting a producer on the set of Good Morning America. I have always dreamed about working for a show like this or the TODAY show because of how it seems to combine a lot of television that I love: live taping, some audience, news and entertainment stories, close to home, city life, and production. I was really excited to see the behind-the-scenes of the show, and it was definitely eye-opening. I was a part of the audience in the live outside segment in the middle of Times Square. I watched the judges of Project Runway speak and then stayed for a special appearance of David Beckham. Of course the set went chaotic when he arrived, so I quickly left the scene. I stayed for some time after the show and talked to a producer, walked on the live set, and saw the green rooms. Their world is definitely not as glamourous as I thought. Very little space for a big production. The set is also used for Dick Clark's New Year's Eve service, which I didn't know.
Anyway, my three days in the city was so needed, and it got me thinking a lot about working in the city. I miss home sooo much, and I can totally see myself working for somewhere like 30 Rock, but I have no idea if it will happen. After seeing GMA, I realized just how different their hours are. For producers, you usually work 11pm-noon, and that would really just play with my schedule. I am not a morning person as it is, but I don't think I could do those hours and expect to have a normal life. I miss NYC but I forget how quickly and overwhelming it becomes. Maybe someday, but for now, it was a good taste to see how entertainment productions work back at home.
Aside from that, my trip home was great and busy. I felt I could have stayed home a few more days, especially knowing that I wouldn't be returning until the holidays most likely. Just recently, as in last week, my mom told me that she is flying out here to visit me for a week the first week of November!! I am so excited you have no idea. Her coming out her to visit me is huge, and it will be a taste of home that will last me until Christmas. I will not be able to go home for Thanksgiving because of timing, no vacation days, and price. So I knew July was the last time for a while.
Anyway, I miss home, but what else is new. Home is where my family is, and they are 3000 miles a way. On days I need a hug, I wish I could just run home and get one, but that is not possible. I need to stay strong, especially as we enter my favorite time of year. I just hope that getting my career started out here will be worth it all in the end, because it is hard to be out here away from them. Thanks for making my trip home worth it guys! Love you all.
A Little Girl vs. Woman
So by now, I am sure you realize that I am a big analyzer on almost every subject in life. I try not to be, but I cannot help it. I feel like I can never turn off my brain, and it is maddening in many ways.
Well, anyway, one of the major things that I have been considering is where I am as a person. I feel like I am such a girl at heart, but the world doesn't always like that. But I feel so far from a woman because I know I have a lot of growing up to do.
I guess a lot of this comes from my first relationship, where I realize that I was not as prepared to handle certain situations the right way. Looking at it now, I see that how I act a lot of times around people is how I think they want me to react. I don't always react based on how I feel nor do I really say how I feel.
I remember last year I wrote in my other blog (Tumblr) an entry on how being brave is one trait I wish to have. This is a great example of how I don't have it. Being able to tell someone how I really feel on a situation, especially if it involves them, is not easy for me to do. So what I do instead is hold my tongue, act cool and try to remain level headed. I had the idea that no conflict means nothing is wrong, and this so isn't true. I never want to be the one to rock the boat because of how I am feeling, but I guess in the long run, holding things in is ultimately causing issues. I think realizing this is one way I have grown in the last year.
It seems like an obvious concept, but saying how you feel to someone seems like such an adult way of behaving. The kid inside of my, or the unexperienced girl in life, just wants to hide from dealing with this, but the adult side of me knows I need to face it head on. I am just afraid too.
That is just one example of how I feel torn on where I am as a person. I want to remain a kid at heart for the rest of my life. Yes, I enjoy kids activities: coloring, painting, mini-golfing, disneyland, building forts, getting ice cream, making crafts, etc. I pray that there is never a day I don't enjoy them. But does liking/participating in kid's activities make me less of a "woman"?
To be honest, I don't even like calling myself a "woman" because it sounds old, and I am really insecure about it. Just in my last post, I refer to my friends and I as "young women" for the first time ever. I like the idea of being considered young and enthusiastic about life. I just don't see myself as an adult quite yet.
That leads me to my next question, what is it that defines a woman as a woman? Is it having a husband, house and kids? Is it having her own career, being an independent person in life? Is it defined on age alone? If it is, what age is it? In this country age 18 is when you are an adult, but yet, I was never called a woman at age 18. I was called "young lady", even today this holds true. Back 200 years ago, age 14 or 15 was basically a woman because girls were expected to marry.
I guess I am lost in what I feel a true woman is. In my mind, I think being a woman involves being of a certain maturity with decent life experience under your belt where you know how you believe, think, and feel about certain situations. She knows how to truly be herself but also not just keep herself together but hold a family/friends together as well. A true woman is confident and strong, and knows how to read, interpret, and reach out to those she knows best without talking.
I can honestly say, that I am not there. Nor am I certain I will ever be there, but in our society, how do we know someone has crossed that bridge? This may be a side note, but I just wish our society really had great women roles models in pop culture. I hate seeing all the "women fighting" shows like Real Housewives or Bad Girl's Club, etc. That is such a conflicting message where grown women act like middle schoolers. I know as a future woman, that is nothing I aspire too, and I wish young girls also realize that. Maybe that contributes to why I feel confused myself.
Alright I think I made my point. I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I am on the "growing up" scale of life. I know I am a girl in many, many ways, but I am also becoming my own person. I still remain innocent about a lot of the ways of the world but at the same time, I am starting to understand how this world works or doesn't work. Girl or woman, I am liking who I am becoming, and I hope others see that. But when I return home for now, I know a few of my family members will call me a grown "woman" and I just at the thought of that, I shrink into a ball like a little girl, thus disproving their point on the spot. Sometimes I just wish Peter Pan would come and wisk me away right now towards Neverland and away from the adult world. :D
Until then... keep dreaming!
Different People, All the Same Questions
I went home at the end of July and I met up with some of my high school friends. I had a great time, but I am starting to feel the difference in time and distance spent away from them. Usually it used to feel like when I saw them, it was just like old times. Now, as we come into our own people, I am realizing that I do not know them as much as I used too. So when I met up with them this one night, I realized that even though we are different people, we were all going through the same things in different ways.
Our girl's night ended up bringing up they usual topics: boys, school, family, etc.. But what surprised me about this night was just how much we are starting to really contemplate our futures. No longer are the decision we make just because we want too. I feel like all of us are really starting to think about the future, and being young women, what do we choose for jobs, our future families, and where we want to settle.
I was surprised on how we all connected on trying to figure out where we want to settle. This is as much a mystery as it is to them. Personally, I have no clue where I want to end up, but definitely not California. I have been thinking a lot lately about the East Coast all the way to the South, but especially abroad. For the girls, some of them were also thinking the south as well as places they have never been too before. I was surprised at this because I always thought they would want to stay NorthEast forever and ever, guess not. The idea that I am not the only one trying to figure things out was comforting and really good to know. It was nice to know we are all considering many of the same things.
Of course the "boy relationship" conversations came up, and that was interesting. Some were starting to contemplate engagement, others were not. Regardless of our relationship status, we all were thinking about our futures as women. Do we want a career vs. stay at home mom? Do we want the best of both worlds? Is it really possible to have it all? I of course would love to say, yes to this, but seeing how much of a balance I have with it just being me, I can't imagine trying it with a family.
We all want a family of our own, there is no denying that. I am just shocked as to how much this matters in my decision making process because 5 years ago, I never really considered it. Now, what will happen in our futures are huge deals for us, and obviously life changers. Personally, I want a career more than anything right now. I want to go up the ladder and make a name for myself. But that is only until I want/have a family of my own. I know I want kids, and a big family, but I am unsure of what I will do in terms of a career. Deep down, I have a feeling that I will become a stay-at-home mom, like my mother was, but maybe just have a side business or projects to work on as well. I want to have a great family that is close, settled, and rooted in a good neighborhood lifestyle. I obviously cannot make this decision now, but just starting to even think about it seriously is a huge deal in all of our minds.
I guess overall, the thing that us as young women are dealing with are all the same. We know that life is ours for the taking now, and we can do what we want. But what we struggle with is how much do we let the unknown future affect our decision making process? That is one tough question, but I am glad I am not facing it alone.
It was also great to understand that even though we come from the same background, town, high school, group of friends, etc, we have such different lives. Not one of our lives are the same. That is so exciting. I look forward to what the future brings, but I am also scared to see it come true. We go forwards with no idea of what will come, but we have our dreams, and we have our questions. Hopefully we will find answers on the way.
Late Life Bloomer
Looking at my life, I guess like many people my age, I say how I am not as far as I would like to be in life. I thought that by the time I was 24, I would have completed two years of working experience, finished my first job and looking for a promotion, I would be living abroad studying for my business degree in London, and hopefully in a serious relationship and traveling the world/Europe.
Well, as you know, none of those hopes and dreams for myself have come true. I am not sad, but I am disappointed. Many say it's the economy, it's the job market, it's school competition or whatever. Say what you want of it, but I have just come to realize that it may be some or all of that, but in the midst of trying to put the blame somewhere, I have discovered that I am a late bloomer in life. I just need to accept that.
Think about it. First, the job. 2.5 years out of school, I am now just starting my first job. I have two years of work experience, but not consistent enough to get me a job promotion. I just landed my first real job - entry level job. Don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing. It was just the cards I have been dealt. I was not meant to get a job with the economy until now. As I look at Facebook and LinkedIn, I see there are several high school and college classmates that are now into their second or third jobs. Some have gotten great promotions and are making good money. Me... I just started. I feel somewhat behind I guess, but that is just what I was meant to be.
Second, apartment living... Many of my close friends as well as family members are more settled than I am. For example, my brother has had his own apartment fully furnished and decorated for over a year. As for me? I do not own a single piece of furniture. I don't even own the pillows that I sleep on. I am 24 years old, and at my age, my parents were already married and moved into their own apartment. I am no where near that stage in my life. Most of my friends who are living in other cities have their places/apartments, and some are now getting married and moving into a nice house. I just look forward to the day that I decorate my own room and have a place to call mine. I cannot wait!! But for now, I am still living in someone's place... a late bloomer for settling into my own space
Boys, Relationships & Marriage- Being that I am 24, I know I should not be really looking into getting married right now, but enjoying life as it comes. Well this is much easier said than done. At this stage in my life, I thought I would be in a serious relationship that was possibly close to engagement or at least heading there. I am no where near there.
I am just a late bloomer with any boy experience. In high school, I never dated. I had a few crushes, sure, but they went rejected and unnoticed. I couldn't get any boy's attention. Maybe it was because I was super busy, they were immature, or whatever, but it just didn't happen. I didn't have a boy friend in college either, and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 21 just because I gave up on the idea of making it special and was just curious about that part of life. Boys were just never a part of my life that I have experienced.
So coming back to relationships, I am also realize a late bloomer for this too. When majority of my high school friends have been in a 2-3 year relationship or are close to engagement, I have just had my first relationship of 8 months. He and I broke up for various reasons in August, and it was really hard for me. Guess I am also a late bloomer when dealing with your first heart-break. Go figure. My point was that at an age when my parents were already married, I am just entering the world of dating.
Anyway, I just wanted to highlight some of the ways I feel like I am either behind or just starting to come into my own. I am not trying to compare my life to anyone else's because I love my life. It is just I cannot help but to feel behind in several ways in terms of where society expects you to be, where I expected myself to be, and where I hope to be. I know my time is slowly coming just because I am starting to be able to settle now that I have the job. It just took two years to get there.
So to all my fellow late bloomers, don't rush life. I am trying not to sprint through it as I had been. Take the fact that in time you will become your own person with pride. It is something I am working on, and I am growing at my own pace. For that I am proud of myself.
I'm Back!
Okay, Bloggers, so by now, I am sure you know I usually fall behind a few months in my blog posts, but come back again eventually. Well, this is the time I come back. Sorry for being absent again. A lot has happened in the last three months since I posted, and I cannot wait to catch you up on it all. So let's get started!
I have come to realize that this blog is not necessarily going to be about the job hunting anymore, since I have landed a position finally. I am going to take this as a general discussion blog with topics that come into my head as I experience them. I hope to have a post about once a week, but we will see if that stays. Maybe it will just be as topics come to me.
Over the last three months, I have had many topics on life and relationships enter big discussions with my friends, family, and myself. I am not sure what life has in store for me at this point, but it seems that things are definitely changing whether or not I am ready for them.
Alright, here we go. Thanks for following!
Ashley
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I"M HIRED!!!
Hey Bloggers!!
I officially accepted this morning!! After thinking it through last night, it became very apparent what my decision had to be. Obviously...I needed to accept!
I know I have such a huge over-analytical mind, and sometimes it is the death of me, and I had to get out of that frame of mind. My mom is right, I need to stop questioning everything and just go for it or else my life will never move forward.
So as of this morning, I am HIRED!!! I will be working as a Production Assistant for Walt Disney Animation on an upcoming film in their story department.
In the mean time, I will be able to work with top story tellers for a great project, learn how to develop a story, and see the whole process come to life. I think this can be an eye opening experience, and it will be a year of fun! I have no idea where it will go from here, but I guess that is part of life... take it as it comes at you.
It is hard to believe I have a job (?!). It took so long to get here. I am super excited, but now I am cannot wait to go home next week! I cannot wait to tell them the news, and officially be home one last time for a while.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and as my roommate once said, "sometimes you have to follow the direction in which the universe is pulling you. Sometimes it just knows better." I hope that is true, because I am really nervous about the new job, but excited! I really have no idea what I am going to learn or embark on in the next upcoming months, but hey, it's an amazing opportunity.
I look forward to making money, meeting new people, learning a new skill, and having fun. I will go after this whole heartedly as I do any job just because I know I owe it to myself not to compromise in any way.
Realistically, I will be working for Disney (of all my dream companies), in family entertainment, in a great environment, learning new skills and getting paid. What is not to love?
Okay... well I thought I should let you know. I start August 1st. I am going to go "un-think" for a while and relish in the fact, I am getting started now. YAY! SO after26 months of unemployment... I HAVE A JOB!!! Maybe it was not a bad thing watching all of those animation movies when I was five afterall. :D
An Offer Has Been Made!?
(7/14/11)
Wow... life has delivered some big twists today! It is funny how life can change in one day... 24 hours. I will just cut to the chase... I got a job offer!! I cannot tell you anymore than that, but I am super excited!
I have so much to think about, but I will not post my thoughts for various reasons. I am going to think about all the various aspects of this position. If you wish to know more, please email me. Thanks!!
TV Progress is Being Made!
(Written 7/13/11)
It seems that I may be getting somewhere afterall! I feel momentum is starting to kick up in life... little by little. Let me explain...
Well, today is Wednesday, and last Friday, I applied to be a PA on NBC's new show The Voice for their NYC auditions, and I got it! They want me to be in NYC for two days July 22 and 23rd to help out with the contestants of the show. After NYC, the show will continue to travel to Orlando, Atalanta, San Fran, and then LA by the end of the summer. I am hoping to do well in NYC so they may offer me a position when they tape in LA. I know that is future thinking and not where I am right now, but at least I got the chance to work on it in NYC!! Therefore... I am going home! I will be home Wednesday the 20th- the 27th. I cannot wait!
Then literally a few hours after I booked the flight, I got an email from the production coordinator working on X-Factor, Simon Cowell's new and most anticipated competition show, for ten days here in LA. Of course I wanted to say yes, especially since this is the "dream job" for me, even if only for a few days, but of course as life would have it, the dates conflict with The Voice. I would not be able to go home, and I would have to cancel on Voice.
I asked the coordinator if I could work half of the expected days and switch my flight, but he said that would not work for him. Darn! I finalized my conversation saying I need to honor my commitment to Voice as I made it first, even if it means losing money instead of earning it. All in the name of taking a career chance.
I do wish I will get the chance to eventually work on both shows. To be a part of the staff when they return to LA would be a dream come true because it is family entertainment combined with Live TV, and a mass appeal. I only hope!
Furthermore, I have been reaching out to producers in NYC working on GMA and Today as well as Rachel Ray. I have been in contact with three of them thus far, and when I return to NYC next week, they want to meet with me! YAY! I hope that could lead somewhere too. I will keep you posted.
And lastly, I was able to shadow the assistant to the Executive Producer on So You Think You Can Dance!! She is a friend of mine, and part of my theater group, and she knows I want to work in live television, so she invited me to watch the taping and meet others on the staff. I was on cloud nine. I literally felt like I was in the right place at the right time. Ugh, if only I could be given the chance to be on a show like that! I met with some of the editors as well as Barry Adelman, the Executive Producer and my friend's boss. He told me if I am interested in learning more about Live TV to hang around with him more often. I really hope he was serious!!
I finally feel with these recent developments, that I am finally gaining some ground in making it in the television world. It is starting to become possible, I just have to keep going. I really hope something breaks soon. I have not heard yet, from my other interviews, but I feel okay about that for the first time.
I recently had an idea pop into my head that maybe having a full time job is not in the cards for me. Maybe I was meant to start out as a freelance PA and have been fighting it all this time. Maybe being this sporadic in various projects was all what my path was supposed to be anyway. A job may not be my answer as I thought it was the only one a few months back. If only I could be wanted on a steady basis, then I could say goodbye to BJs and survive on my own.
I hope to get there someday with or without a job as once expected. I am okay with just knowing that, so who knows where the wind will take me. At least it is starting to become breezy and pointing me in some direction. Here is hoping!!
The Play Has Played
(written 7/12/11)
So it has been a long three weeks or so since I last wrote to you all. I wish I had more to tell you than normal, but there really is not much to report other than the results of my play....
#ShakespeareIsDead has finally had its debut in Hollywood this past weekend! We had over 125 people show up for the play, and we sold out 2 of the 3 nights. How great is that? I was totally surprised by the support of the local theater community towards our show. I really did not think more than ten or so people would show, but I was dead wrong. Thanks to all whom came out this weekend! I appreciate it.
Of the three nights, the last night was our best performance night, and the night i made all of the lighting Q's. I was the stage manager, and in charge of the Q's for the show. It was not as easy as it looked. Once I got the hang of it though, I was able to do well. The first night, I missed one or two cues which made one actress go to black while she was in the middle of a monologue and another was during the scene transition, where I raised the lights way too early. Oops!
The second night, Saturday, there was an audience work light that was on for the first 9 scenes of the show. I could not figure out how to turn it off! I was panicking because it was ruining every scene and transition. Finally, I figured it out, but I was sweating!!
Then the third and final night, I finally made and hit all my Q's! YAY! I was so proud of myself!
It seems crazy that the play is now over, when it feels like we just debuted! One audience member, and family member to one of the actors, wants to take this play to Shakespeare festivals and hopefully get a production team behind it, and bring it to off broadway (??!!). I will believe it when I see it! But it is amazing to have touched someone with a local project and has an even greater vision for it. Who knows what will happen.
Thank you, Kyle, my brother, for designing the amazing program and banner! It looked wonderful. Thank you, again, for your amazing support! You would be glad to know that was hung on Santa Monica Boulevard for three days at the beginning of Theater Row. Woo Hoo!
So, yep. Good last three weeks, especially the last week and a half. We had rehearsal everyday, plus an overnight rehearsal in the space, tech night, then three straight performances. Not too shabby for a first production.
I will admit I am proud of myself. We created our own original play, made our own project, and performed it in Hollywood to several people. Not many people can say they did that. Yay!
Who knows what will happen from here. Until then.... good night!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Newest Project - A play?
Hey Bloggers!
So far, it is Tuesday, and nothing this week has happened yet. My job search has not yielded any responses from last week's interviews. I had a few job applications completed, but still waiting to hear.
Anyway, that is not the purpose of this post. In this post, I wanted to tell you all about a project I have been working on with a few friends of mine out here. We are putting on our own play production!
This is something new for me, but I have been following my love for theater, and I joined a group with 6 actors my age and we teamed up. We are all getting frustrated with how life has not gone the way we planned it would, and we wanted to make something for ourselves. Make our own break if you will. So, our group director, wrote a script in April, and we have been rehearsing it every Monday night since.
I am the only non-actor in the group, but it has been amazing to watch how these guys work. It has really exposed me to the methods of acting, and the process one really goes through to get into character. I have never experienced that before, and I have a whole new appreciation for actors.
Anyway, the play is called, Shakespeare is Dead. It is about 6 students in a Shakespeare class want nothing to do with his plays, but the more they learn it, the more they realize it parallels their own life. In other words, the scenes they need to "memorize" for class are directly corresponding to current drama in their life. It is actually a really cool and funny message. I do not know much about Shakespeare, if anything at all, but this play is really funny and has a lot of potential.
We premiere at the Flight Theater in Hollywood July 8-10th. Tickets are $10 or $5, if you talk to me before hand. It is a 40 person theater, and we are hoping to sell out each night. It is a simple production, but we have needed to raise 900 dollars to rent the theater space. So far, we have $725, but still needing a bit more. I am sure we will get it. If you are interested in supporting this, I have pasted the link below. If you want to spread the word, you can tweet #Shakespeareisdead or forward the link below for donations.
My role with the show will be the tech and lighting director. This is a new role for me, but being a part of the theater world has been really rewarding so far. I just hope we can pull off our opening night.
I am proud of myself for being involved in a project that is different, but also exciting. I am proud of the cast and crew for being so dedicated to the project. I hope you will enjoy it too! Until then...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Gaining Momentum!!
Hey Bloggers,
I just wanted to update you quickly on what happened this week. Unlike the previous week, I suddenly find myself super busy! Yay!
To start, I had 4 interviews! One is actually for a non-profit organization called the LA Youth Network. It is their quest to house homeless children in LA in long term shelters. I had no idea the youth homeless population is over 10,000. That is over 7 large high schools! Kids ages 2-17 are welcomed to these shelters, but only 48 beds exist due to lack of budget from the CA government. I found these statistics staggering. Even the fact that 15% of the adult homeless are with bachelor's degrees. I could never imagine being in that situation, but in this economy, I guess we all could potentially become one of them. I don't think the job is for me, which is raising awareness of the situation in the streets of LA, like a grassroots campaign, but I do want to be involved as a volunteer somehow.
The second interview was with Disney Animation. It was the third and final round of interviews. This time, I was to meet with the 6 Production Supervisors in groups of two for 30 minutes each group. I was there for over 1.5 hours, and my mouth was tired of talking! The interviews went well, but I am still deciding if Animation is where I want to be. I really like the process, but I still want to be in TV. I will take it, obviously, if a position came up, but as of now, I just do not see myself staying there for really long. Otherwise, the people who work there are absolutely amazing, and I know the work environment is right for me.
The third interview I had was with... drum roll please.... Disney Channel! Yay! This was for the exact position I interviewed with a month and a half ago. Go figure! The only different is it is for three other executives. I applied ot it online, but I had three of my Channel contacts recommend me to come in for the interview. I know I am going on to round 2, because they told me at the end of the interview, and they sent me a script to read and give notes. I am really excited about this possibility, but I do not want to expect anything this time, because my heart hurt so bad last time I was rejected. I have no expectations, so I do not want to think about it.
The last two interviews were more random. One was for a reality production company that is in charge of the Kardashians and a few other top shows. So I don't want that one. The last one was for a Production Coordinator, not assistant, but Coordinator position for Discovery, more specifically, TLC. The catch with this is, if I get it, I have to move to Maryland. I am not opposed to moving, especially if the job takes me there, but I don't know anyone or anything really in MD. I would start completely over, but at least I would be closer to home. I have no idea what will happen with that, but I hope to hear something soon.
So... that was my week in summary! Pretty good! It really feels like I am getting closer to something happening. 5 successful interviews, and two I know I am going further in the process. It has put me in a surprisingly good mood! I have not given up yet, but my bank account almost has. I have nothing really left, and I only get half the hours I need at the restaurant, so I am praying hard that something will break sooner. That leaves a lot of possible news to come this week. Until then....
goodnight!
Another Week Down...
(written June 10th)
Well, it's been almost a week from home already. Wow how time flies. It feels like yesterday I was in my room. I will be back someday soon.
I wish I had more to report, but this week was really quite uneventful. I was actually pretty bored for most of the week. I hate that feeling. I try to be productive, but not really having a lot to do is maddening at times. Yes, I have tons of small projects to work on, but it seems my motivation to work on those are really small at times anyway.
What did I do this week? Well, I applied to over 40 jobs! That's good. I applied to anything and everything from jobs back east to cable companies in LA, Disney, Nickelodeon, and reality tv companies, etc... Hopefully I will hear from one of those.
I went to the gym a lot... almost everyday. Trying to get back in shape. I really want to get as toned and athletic looking as possible. To be the best version of me.
I went back to work at BJs. Woo Hoo! (jk). In all reality though, it did feel good to make money again, even if it is not the job I want at the moment. I actually took pride in working there for a while.
I also had lunch with a producer connection of mine. It was more pleasure rather than business, but it was nice to go out.
That was my week. Woo Hoo!
OH! I am not sure if I mentioned it before, but I am a part of a theater group I started with some BJs friends of mine. Out of the group of 7, I am the only non-actor in it. We meet every Monday night, as we are preparing for our first production on July 8-10th. We finally secured the stage, and thanks to my brother, we have a program underway. The play is about how the meaning of Shakespeare still applies to modern times. I will explain more as the project gets closer, and I will be having a "donation launch" post. Just keep in mind, we are looking for donations to pay for the stage. If you want to donate, please follow this link:
http://www.indiegogo.com/Put-a-roof-over-our-performances-head
More will come.
And finally, one last update. I got rejected from two more jobs today. I came a close second to the both the VH1 talent position and the Nickelodeon position. Those were two that I made to the final interviews with, so now I am out half my job leads. I still stand by my position of rejection the last job because that seemed way too unstable.
I am pretty bummed about losing these chances, but I know I am getting closer. Going home has refreshed my mind, so it really is easy to take these rejections. Something better will be coming. Hopefully....
That's really it. I am still going after what I want whole-heartedly. I just hope a chance will pop up soon. I don't think I can deal with these uneventful weeks much longer.
Anyway, night Bloggers!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Last Night at Home... A Growing Experience
Hey Bloggers!
I am writing this to you at 3:22am because I cannot sleep at all. Even though I am getting up in less than 6 hours, I can never sleep the night before I travel.
That's right... I am going back to LA tomorrow. Wow, as I typed "LA" I caught myself typing "Home" before I deleted it. I guess I am not sure which one is my home much anymore. Burbank is my current home and where my current life is, but NJ/East Coast is where my heart is... that is my home too. So am I returning home or leaving it? Not sure.
I cannot believe how fast two weeks has gone by. It seriously flew by! I usually find myself bored in Chatham by the first few days, but not this time. Does that mean I just had a lot of stuff to do, or does that mean I need to stay longer? I know I could. I could easily stay another two weeks, if not more, just to figure out meetings and interviews in NYC. Maybe next time I will have a better organized trip with a purpose to NYC.
I think I accomplished everything I wanted too while I was home. I figured out car insurance, health insurance plan, residency, back issues, NYC meetings, and spent time with family. I wish I could have seen more of my friends, but their lives have also gone in another direction. I am mad that I am missing my good high school friend, who returns from her year abroad in China, by less than 72 hours. I did, however, get to see my sister for a little more than 24. So that was worth it!
Looking back at these two weeks, I can see how I have changed as a person. I have never been away from home this long before (9 months), and so much of my life has changed in those 9 months; I just didn't know how much.
First off, I see just how much I am different from my parents. I think I am starting to come into my own person now and really owning it. I do things differently than my parents, and I think differently than they do. Being my main influencers on life, I see now that I do not have to be exactly like them in those respects. It is hard to mentally separate yourself and accept your ways when you are still dependent on them for survival.
Secondly, I have realized just how much I am like my grandmother. I really am a younger version of her, and I want to be just like her as I grow older (notice I did not say, "When I grow up.") She is so free loving and affectionate. I have never thought I was unaffectionate, but I have come to realize just how affectionate I want to be as a person. I guess I have my boyfriend to thank for this as well. I found myself wanting to give more hugs than I received, and I had to stop myself several times from asking for too many. My family is full of love, but we are definitely not the most affectionate; its just our nature, and I want to be different than that. I now see I want to be just like my grandmother because she is always the one I can count on for a any form of love...hug, back rub, or even hand holding. I want to be able to give others that appreciation and love as well. This is one area in which I know I want to mature when I return to the West coast.
I also felt I have finally grown out of my room. Despite it being my childhood room and full of memories, I want to have a more sophisticated room; one that I can feel comfortable revealing to my new friends and future guests, and not one that looks like a 10 year old girls' room. So a makeover will be rendered someday.
I have also noticed just how much having a relationship means to me. I though being away from my boyfriend was going to be a lot easier than it actually was. I thought about him a lot, everyday honestly. My family asked about him too, so I talked about him everyday and thought about our times within the few months we have been together.
I was really happy to meet up with him in the city this week for two days since our schedules coincided; and it was amazing! I am starting to realize what it means to become "invested" with someone. Let's just say my relationship has become more important to me than I will comfortably admit in public. :D
And lastly, I have realized just how strong I can be. In the last post I told you about a 3 month job offer that came through. Well, I am proud enough to stand by my decision and state that I denied the offer! what??! Did you see that coming... or not?
I was so nervous to tell the company about passing up their offer, so I avoided it for two days, and thought more and more about the whole situation. I basically came to the conclusion that I have better outstanding offers coming up in the near future that will better suit my personality and career path. As the days passed, situations unfolded, and I felt less and less sold on the idea for various confidential reasons.
But today I was able to tell the executives "no, but thank you" in a very professional manner and still keep my connection with them. I feel good about my decision, and now I just have to work even harder to get where I want to be. Calling them and saying "no" resulted in a boost of self-confidence and pride in my ability to stand up for myself. I never compromised myself or my morals, and I was not tempted by money. I am stronger than I thought I was, and discovering that about yourself is such an amazing feeling... like you're invincible. I know I have what it takes to make it now, I just needed to realize that again.
So spending my last night at home, I am able to refocus myself for the upcoming weeks. I have a new and refreshed perspective on my life out in LA. As much as I do not want to leave home, I have some promising leads that I hope manifest themselves soon. I will continue to work hard for what I want, and I will continue to grow.
I never thought I would be ready to grow up, but looking at myself now, I feel like the time is coming for me. Time for me to grow up because I want to become a better person: professionally, personally, socially, and lovingly.
Being in your early/mid twenties during the Great Recession has brought on 2 years of identity crisis for most Americans. Well, I can say I am really starting to own myself and realize I do want to grow up now, and I do want to be my own person. I thank God for all that I have and all that I grew up with, but I know I have the tools I need to make something of myself. I just hope that is sooner rather than later.
Until that time comes... I really need to get some sleep. Goodnight bloggers, goodnight home, and hello California.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
A Tough Decision
(Friday May 27th)
What just happened? I have no idea what to think at the moment. I cannot tell if I am happy, surprised, excited, or just plain confused. What do I do now? Let me explain….
Remember the interview I told you about? The crazy one with the guy who called me a “Farm Girl” and not sure if I could make it? Well, he calledme today, personally. He offered me the job!! WHAT?!?!
He said how he thought that I am super smart and that I could learn a lot from this position. He thought I was the best interview and I had a lot to offer. “All of Hollywood wants you, and we want you to work with us.” All of Hollywood? Haha, no. I really had no idea what to say, and he noticed I was stunned on the phone.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Because I thought the interview didn’t go well once he called pushed me to defend myself in the interview. I told him, “I thought I ruined it when had to defend myself and got a little hot-headed.” He replied saying he used that interview to test people because he does not like to surround himself with “yes” people. He knew I could handle to pressure and get the job done.
So, with that said… I have a job offer (?!), and I am really grateful for that. Just hearing the words “we want you to come work with us” felt really great to hear. Now why am I not jumping up and down? I need to figure this out. They need an answer by mid-week.
Here is where I am with my upcoming decision…
The Cons:
- This is not a full time job. It is only 3 months, basically to the end of the summer on Sept 2nd.
- The company is for a marketing company that gets clients on television shows, so I would not be on production like I thought it would be.
- There is no guarantee I would get any work after Sept 2nd, and has no benefits.
- The work environment is going to be tough, especially seeing how the interview process went. I will definitely be working with a tough personality.
- My hours are 6am-4pm. I have a feeling they will definitely be longer, and I soooo not a morning person.
- The contact I may get are going to be within the marketing world instead of production.
- No one has heard of the company within the production world, so the name on my resume may not be as strong as something like Disney or VH1.
- I have other job leads from Nickelodeon, VH1, Disney, and NBC that I am waiting to hear back from in a few days.
The Pros:
- Being that it is 3 months, I have work for he summer and I can look for other work and still save some money and make minimum payments (helping out the parents).
- I will quit BJs… potentially.
- The pay is pretty decent compared to what I thought I would get.
- The projects/clients they have are in the television talk world, and that is exactly where I think I want to work. I could get potential contacts through that, i.e. the Dr. Drew show.
- This gives me assistant experience, which I need more of on my resume.
- There is room for potential advancement within the company if it is not with the show. They hire within the company.
- It is a job and that is what I am looking for!!
So where does that leave me? I am not sure. I am still debating both sides. Am I being too picky? Or is this something worth being picky about? I know I need more information, so I am hoping to speak with a contact within the company who I know I can ask for honest answers. I need to give the company a response be mid-week, so I have a few days, but not an easy decision.
However the more I think about it, the more I am leaning towards not taking it. I am one to thrive on a work environment that complements my personality. Although this position has the type of work I want to do, it may not be the right environment. With the other leads I have, I know they are better environments, but some are not as close to the work I want to do, but I am about to hear from them in the next few days. Dilemma!
I have talked to those really close to me, and the consensus is to follow my gut, but if it were them, they all said they would turn it down. I know I have other options, so I need to be able to decide amongst those. Once I talk to my contact, I think the decision would be easier.
What would you do? I will take this weekend to really sit and think on it. At least this is a good dilemma to have, as my dad said. I think this shows how things may be turning around for me. I am getting closer; I feel it. I just got to keep on plugging at it.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!! Talk to you later. Until then…
Meetings in NYC
(Thursday May 26th)
I just got back in from a nice night in the city. I cannot explain to you how great it feels to be in New York again. Tall buildings, busy streets, places to go, and public transportation to get you there!
I have actually been in the city twice this week for various meetings I had set up. On Tuesday, I came in early in the morning to visit an executive at MTV Networks. She was really great. I enjoyed what she had to say because she works within the events department, which is becoming something I seriously want to pursue if production/television does not pan out.
The second girl I met was with Nickelodeon as an assistant. She had a very rocky beginning like I have, and she now loves what she does. She gave me good insight and a new perspective that things will work out for me. I just need the “right place at the right time” deal to happen.
After those meetings, I met up with two BU friends of mine for lunch and a coffee. It was great to see them. It made me wonder if I really see myself back East or not. I know I am an East Coast girl, but where I want to settle, I am still unsure.
I can totally see myself in NYC as a career woman, but not sure if I would live back at home or move into the city. I would want to stay at home for sure, but the commuting and the responding to parental favors would get to me after a while. Then again, living in the city is $$$$ and I don’t have to do that. Plus the city can become overwhelming at times to live, so I would enjoy the break of scenery. The idea of living in NYC is not super thrilling to me, or at least not my first choice. Not sure.
I have been applying to jobs in NYC though, like I have the last 2 years. Nothing has turned up yet. I am leaving it open ended to see where life takes me. Plus, if I leave LA and return to NYC with no job, I feel like I am losing my network foundation I had established out there and worked so hard to get. It’s a tough scenario.
As for tonight, I was at a BU Almuni event. Andy Cohen, of Bravo TV, aka the Reunion man, was the speaker. He graduated from my school in 1990, and has had a very successful career. It was great getting to hear his side of things.
I noticed all the women were so well dressed! Not one slutty girl around! Maybe I have become desensitized by working at an unglamorous restaurant named BJs, but NYC women were so classy! All corporate. No boobs, no booty shorts, but well dressed, flattering outfits. I felt like I was in the right mix again with my intelligent peers that I miss being around.
After the event, 3 of my fellow BU buds went for pizza and a beer to catch up. It was such a great time! NYC PIZZA… how I missed you!! We chatted it up, laughed, and ate. Perfect night out in Soho. There was even a tuba band playing as we were next to a random carnival. I could totally see that being a part of my life, however, dealing with public transportation can be hard at times.
I missed my train by 5 minutes, so I had to wait another hour to get the next one.. AND… they raised the tickets by almost 4 dollars each way now. Boo. I eventually made it home… as you can tell I’m blogging.
Being in NYC has been so great this week! I will return someday, just not sure when. We will see… Until then…
Goodnight!
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