Waiting on the Answer

Isn't it funny when time decides to move ever so slowly when you really don't want it too? And just the opposite when you don't need it too? Such a riddle. Well, I have been feeling like that every once in a while. The days at home are all blending together, so time can creeeeeeep by so slowly when I am bored. But then when I actually get to doing things, the day goes by so fast.

Well, this also happened with my spontaneous Orlando trip last weekend. I returned a week ago today. I must say that the week has crawled by for the most part, but looking back at it, it went so fast. I feel like I was just there yesterday.

I am glad I took the trip. The interview went well, and it was really informative. I came away with a great boost in self confidence and encouragement that I am doing the right thing. I chose the industry I was meant to be in, I am just waiting for my first big break. I know it is coming soon. But the most important thing I came away with last week was some closure. I left Orlando so abruptly in December, before I was ready, and I needed to go back even if were just for a few days. I know things have changed, and I needed to know that so I don't keep holding onto what was. Totally worth half of my savings... which it was.

Anyway, I am waiting; waiting for an answer from my job interview. I should be hearing soon. This interview is coming at a big crossroads in my life at the moment. I am just beginning to plan and feel mentally ready to go out to LA in March. I know the time and pressure is getting ripe, and I am on the verge of just packing up and going. The only thing stopping me? This potential job in Orlando. This would really change the direction in my life. The real question is: is it the right one?

I feel that this may be one of the biggest decisions I will ever make, and it will have the biggest impact in terms of my career. I basically have to decide between journalism and entertainment. LA has entertainment and Orlando has brought journalism. Entertainment is my passion, but I could be really good at journalism. Being a girl who hates to reject risks, do I take the position if it were offered? Or do I go chasing a dream possessed by so many and go to LA and try to beat out so many others with no guarantees? Or do I just postpone the LA dream for a while for a job I know I have the potential to be great at? But if I take the Orlando gig, am I rejecting entertainment from my unforeseeable future forever? I am so confused by all of this double questioning every move. I know each job has its pros and cons. I just fear making the wrong decision.

I see this potential job as a great experience; I can only learn from it. I could either hate it or absolutely love it. I have just had my heart set on entertainment for so long, that I have not really considered anything else. I just do not let obstacles deter me from my chosen path. But that is just it, I have chosen this path, so only I can make this decision. I guess that is the real inauguration to adulthood is it not? Since when was it up to me to make my own decision? I don't remember crossing that bridge, I must have crossed it blindfolded.

I am not sure what I will choose. I am preparing and going after LA wholeheartedly as if this Orlando opportunity is not around. I will only make my decision if I only get offered the position. As of now, I will keep low expectations with a positive attitude and stay focused on my goal at hand: to start my career. Unfortunately, that deals with having my future in some unknown executive's hands. Until then, I am waiting to hear from them. I will continue to wait for an answer, but I hope it's a good one.