Goodbye Orlando, Hello LA, See you Tomorrow, Conan!

Hey Bloggers!

I am typing this entry on my flight as I head to Phoenix and leaving Orlando. : ( It is amazing how quickly time flies when it is the least convenient to you. I cannot believe 8 days have passed already. It seems I just got here. Oh well, I know I will back soon, not sure when, but it will happen.

Looking back over the week, it went really well. It was much for chill and relaxing than I had anticipated, but it also definitely had its stresses at some points. One stress point was finding all my rides to and from places. Thank you to those who helped! I really appreciate it. I only got stranded once, and I will go into that in a moment.

I had some great homemade meals, living room entertainment, and a nice night at Food and Wine that ended with sitting in the show booth at the American Pavilion to watch a concert from Starship. I also worked out and did some back exercise every day, (although my back has been acting up this trip a bit), as well as visited some old friends at the Great Movie Ride.

There were some things that did not get accomplished such as: Harry Potter World, Main Street Electrical Parade, TANGLED characters, Cowboys bar, and a Halloween party, but I still had a great trip. I will do all those next time.

My meetings with the executives did go well overall, and all three have offered the upmost support to help me get to where I want to be with the company. I was not expecting that type of reception. Was it because Orlandians are generally nicer, or is it due to being at WDW, or have I just gotten used to the demeanor of those in LA? Either way, they were all really kind to me. I am truly thankful for the chance to meeting with them all.

One of the biggest stressors was the day I had two meet and greets within two hours of each other, and my plan on how to get there fell through completely, and I was basically stranded for a bit. I had a rental car reservation that fell through and I could not get a car within 45 minutes, nor would the companies pick me up off of Disney Resort Property. I called a taxi, but had to stop at an ATM for cash to pay him. What I thought would be a quick ride, was a long ride and ended up costing me all my cash. I could not afford a way back to the next M&G unless it was free (HA!)

My meeting was all the way behind Magic Kingdom in the middle of nowhere because this location was meant to be hard to find. I had to walk around a security gate, which I got interrogated by an officer after I broke the security policy, and I had no car. I couldn’t afford a cab, and I had no time with Disney Transportation; plus, I would have to make my way backstage, and I did not know where I was going. Luckily, a good friend of mine came to my rescue. I could not have been more grateful! Oh, and btw, it was about 100 degrees at this time.

The weather tied the record for hottest days ever everyday this week, including this one. It was soooo hot this week! I cannot believe it is Oct/almost Nov. It was definitely June/July weather.

Anyway, I made it through the week, but one shift short of seasonal. I had two shift exchanges that were denied, so I hope to talk to manager to let it slide and keep my status. I would suck if all this effort was for nothing. I hope to stay seasonal, especially since it seems I will be leaving the Studios in Burbank for some time.

That brings me to Conan. I cannot believe I start tomorrow! YAYAYA! I really hope this is a beginning of a great opportunity and the beginning of a new career path. I am really nervous and excited all at the same time, even if it is for an internship. I know I am going to be thrown right in it, so I hope I will do well. I feel like this is the right move for me, and that feels great to say.

The only challenge is to find a job to sustain me the rest of my time. I will work M-Th, so I need a small job to work nights and weekends to survive. That is my goal for this week. Hopefully it will be successful. I just need to survive for a few months. SURVIVE! I also hope the jet lag won’t bother me. It usually sucks flying East to West for me, and it takes me most of the week to adjust to the time. I know I will be tired tonight, and I have a big day tomorrow to prepare for.

I will let you know how it all goes! Hopefully this is the beginning of a new chapter! However, if I did not have Conan to return too tomorrow, I think I would have stayed in Orlando a few more days. I just can’t let it go, although I noticed how bored I got this trip. I forget that the night life is not as good as LA, so for that, and I cannot believe I am admitting this, I miss LA.

Someone asked me this trip if I am happy. I haven’t thought of it like that in a while. I said, “I am becoming content.” I realize now, I have made friends, I have connections, and I have a direction, the only thing I need is a job. I need the thing I came out here for to really seal the deal I think. Then I will be happier. Maybe not Happy, but HappIER.

Okay, well, I am going to try and sleep, but doubtful. Thanks to my friends who helped me out this week!! I know this was the last week of relaxing for quite a while since I will buckle down and focus for the next few months. I had such a good week, and I hate to be leaving, but life has me going in another direction. So until next time…Goodbye Orlando, Goodbye Employment Boredom, Hello LA, and See you tomorrow, Conan!

Back in Orlando!

(written on Monday 10/25/10)

Hey Bloggers!

Guess where I am? That is right! I am in Orlando! I am back for about 8 days to get in some seasonal hours. I am happy I went back three weekends ago because I only got scheduled 8 hours for my whole trip. Luckily, I have about 17 from last trip, so I need 24 to remain seasonal. I have 8, so now I need 16, and I just got approved for a shift exchange for another 8. Therefore, I am one shift short of my 40 hours needed to be seasonal. I really hope I can find one! It would suck to come this close.

Anyway, I am writing this as I am sitting at my old apartment by the pool. It is a whopping 92 degrees today, so it feels like summer! It is so warm. I forget what humidity feels like, but I got used to it in a matter of seconds. It is funny how quickly you can get back into the rhythm of an old routine. It seems like you almost never leave home.

I am a bit nervous about the ride situation since I cannot afford a car rental. I realize how far all of my CP friends have spread out, so finding rides is much harder this trip than I expected. I know things will be okay, but still it is a stress to make sure you get to where you need to go without bothering others.

I really hope to celebrate Halloween this week, but it seems like my normal party life has slowed a bit because we are all spread out now. Nothing good ever stays the same.

I flew in on Saturday morning after my first Red Eye flight from Burbank Friday night. I left at 9pm, and arrived at JFK 5:45am, and connected to Orlando. When I arrived, I had no sense of time whatsoever! I was so exhausted!! I just can never sleep on planes.

I had a good and relaxing day on Saturday and same with yesterday. I chilled by the pool, hung out with my best friend, and saw some others. I even played at Blizzard Beach just for fun.

I work tonight for the movie on the beach at the Grand Floridian, which is my favorite job to work. I love the calming nature of sitting by the water, talking to guests, giving them marshmallows, and enjoying a movie with fireworks all at once. I realize then how much I am lucky to work here. Hopefully it will be good. Then I work tomorrow at Blizzard, and Wednesday night for Campfire movie. That’s it! I hope to get one more shift, so we will see.

I have three meet and greets scheduled with different executives on property. One is in Broadcast Productions, another is in Fireworks/Live Entertainment, and the other is with Events. I hope to learn some new information about what is at WDW, in case I fail at my time in LA, I would have something to return too. I will let you know how all that goes at the end of the week.

Man, I forgot about the mosquitoes! They are coming around now, and they are annoying!! I keep getting bit, and I don’t want too! Darn my sweet German blood!

Oh! I forgot to update you. I did enroll this past week to the UCLA Extension program for internship credit. $550 worth of my savings, and money I am not making, to prove I am getting credit for this Conan internship. So as of Friday, I am officially enrolled and set to start working when I return!! YAY! It is a start!

Anyway, I think that is all I have to report. I love being back in Orlando, it feels great. I hope to see Harry Potter World, the Main St. Electrical Parade, and the new Tangled characters, as well as some other friends. Right now, the west coast seems light-years away, and I am looking forward to a nice week since this will be my last week to relax for a long while.

Until then… talk later!

The Unemployment Boredom

Hey Bloggers!

It seems I am now all caught up on me blog! Yay! I am sorry it took so long to get here. I have tried to give you all the updates as they happened. Hope it makes sense.

Well, it has been a few days since I found out about the Conan internship, and not much has happened aside from that. I have been pushing the enrollment in community colleges as fast as I can, but I am not sure of the exact details of what I need. Plus, of the schools I talked too, most are closed for the semester because it is late October, and the semester will be over in a few weeks. I do not want to pay to enroll until I know all the details of what Conan needs from me first.

I also have not pushed finding a part time job until I know the exact days I will be at Conan. So, everything is on halt until I hear more from them. I just want to get started already!!

So in the meantime, I have become good friends with the Unemployment Boredom. I do not have much planned during my day, so I spend it in the gym. I go to the gym two hours each day, usually soon after I get up. I have lost 6 pounds this week! I've lost almost half the weight I want to reach my goal weight. That is big for me.

Then after the gym, I shower, check facebook, video chat, do errands, watch tv shows.. etc. I am all caught up on Project Runway. I am really in this weird limbo and I am getting restless. I want out! I need to get busy again!! Or else I will go insane!

I held a Fall Fiesta yesterday for my friends here. Most of us are not from LA, so we wanted to bring the Autumn from home to the West coast for an afternoon. About 12 or so came, and we had apple cider, pumpkin, pecan and apple pies, pigs in a blanket, wine, owl cupcakes, mashed potatoes, etc. It was a feast. We held it outside in a park where the weather was really like Fall! It was misting on and off all day, but super cloudy. We had to wear our fall clothes anyway since it was also chilly. It was perfect fall weather. We played card games on the picnic table until it was dark, and came to my place. There, we watched football and played a Battle of the Sexes card game. Overall, it was a very successful afternoon. I was exhausted afterwards because I baked all weekend, except during the Tangled Party, and in the mornings! Yay for Fall Fiesta!

I am loving this weather. So now that I have been on the computer for a while, it is time I go and meet up with my friend Boredom. I hope we can find something productive to do. Until then... night!

That's it.

Tangled Wrap Party: First Hollywood Event!

written on Sunday 10/17

I do not have much time, as I am planning a Fall Fiesta today and my pies are in the oven, but I wanted to tell you all about last night!

I had my first real Hollywood party! My roommate works for Disney Animation on the Winnie the Pooh film, and she had an extra ticket for the Tangled Wrap party. That means, I was able to attend the party that celebrated the end of making "Tangled" the new Disney animation movie being released in November.

I had no idea what I was in for, but I knew it was going to be a good night. I got all dressed up and curled my whole head, which did not stay, but oh well. At 4pm, my roommate and I went to our neighbor's apt, who worked on Tangled, and there we had some champagne and appetizers. Delicious! I love champagne. The girls looked so gorgeous. I was floored! I asked where they each got their dresses, and it was a reality check for me that I am no longer in high school. Each of their dresses were over 100 dollars, and were designer made. I am so used to hearing cheap names like Charlotte Russe or H&M with prices under 75 dollars. Boy was I wrong. I had to remember: this is adult world!

We all took a taxi to the famous Roosevelt hotel where we arrived at the Pool Bar for some pre-game drinks. That was when people trickled in for what looked like the Oscars. Women were in all sorts of colors, long and short gowns, hair done; it was essentially adult prom. I noticed I was the odd one out, because I was the only one wearing tights, even panty-hose for that matter. I guess that is not the LA thing to do this time of year. All the women were bare-legged, and I wore black tights. Oops. Fashion mistake 15532. haha.

While at the pool, I noticed some rugged guy wearing jeans, and realized that was Colin Ferrel! I don't like him, but it was neat to see some random celebrity at the hang out with us. He had nothing to do with the event, but he was just there. Still a cool sighting.

After the Roosevelt, we walked to the screening. The people who made the film were in one theater, the El Capitain, and those who were Disney Employees or guests, like me, were in the Chinese Theater. We had free popcorn and soda upon arrival. I have never been in the theater, and it was gorgeous! I could only feel like I was walking into history because that theater is legend in its role in Hollywood.

Before we saw the film, John Lasseter (Disney COO) spoke to introduce the film to us. He discussed the vision of the film, the audience response, and what he hopes it would do in theaters. Then Ed Catmull also spoke (Pres. of Animation) about his opinion of the film. Finally, the producer, Roy Conli, and directors, Byron and Nathan, also spoke. Their speech was about 35 minutes long as they said all their Thank Yous for the film. Glad that was not an Oscar speech. After hearing them, we watched the film.

Note to Everyone: GO SEE TANGLED! It is a beautiful film with a great storyline. I was really hesitant about it because of the od marketing campaign, but honestly, this is great. It was funny, quirky, light hearted, and theatrical. Mandy Moore was perfect for the role as was the villain. The colors are outstanding. Make sure you see it at least once. It is truly beautiful.

After the film, we all went upstairs to the top floor club that overlooked Sunset Blvd and partied the night away. They had catered food, amazing desserts, open bar, lots of music, and even an aerial acrobatic performing in hanging fabric like Cirque Du Soleil. What I was most in shock with was the fact I was eating two tables way from John Lasseter! I wanted to approach him so badly and ask, "So how did you go from the theme parks to the Studios? I need advice!" I never did. Next time! I also introduced myself to Ed Catmull, since I now know his daughter. On top of that, Mandy Moore was there, stunning as always, Zac Levi (I didn't see him) as well as Andrew Millstein (EVP of Production).

I could not believe I partied with John Lasseter! hahaha! I was in shock for a while. I was so happy I wanted to get emotional about it, because this was it. This was a culmination of what happens once you complete such a large project for the world to experience. Plus, the making of Tangled was anything but easy, so everyone wanted to party to celebrate its ending.

After dinner, the tables were moved for the dance floor, and we all just had fun. People were wasted of course, but it was great to see all people out of their shell. I loved seeing the security guard dance to Britney Spears. Classic!

It was great feeling a part of something again, even though I did not have any influence in the film. It made me realize that I can have the same thing. I cannot wait to go to one of those and celebrate something I actually influenced. How rewarding. But the most rewarding part was after the movie we all stayed for the credits. It occurred to me I was sitting with the people whose names were on the credits! That was it for them. They all got to see their name in lights on a large screen, and every department was acknowledged including the Cast Member who ran the Caffeination Department (aka the Caffeine Patch at work).

It was just a wonderful night and a job well done. It was my first of many Hollywood Wrap parties to come I hope. I cannot wait to be involved on the project when it happens. So everyone, GO SEE TANGLED!! Until then... that's a wrap!

A Breakthrough to Risk It All!

(written on Friday 10/15/10)

I heard back, and I have good news! I got the CONAN Internship!!!! YAYAYAYYAY!!

Okay, bringing it back down to earth. I got the internship!! I am sooo excited! This is a breakthrough for me. I have had my first yes in months! I am so excited. Did I say that already?

Breathe in.... breath out.... phew.... okay!

Now that my sanity is back, let me explain what this means. As many of you know, Conan O'Brian was kicked out of NBC last winter for some ridiculous reasons. He has not been on television since, but has signed a deal to start his own show on TBS. This new show, cleverly named, CONAN, will air on November 8th at 11pm.

Since Conan's disappearance, his popularity has skyrocketed. He is now one of the "untouchables" in Hollywood. His is being treated as if he is a movie star these days, and has such a huge following. Aside from that, working for him is even harder than talking to him. He brought over his staff from NYC when he moved to LA last year, so there have been few openings to work for him.

Now over the last 2 years, I have been applying to him in whichever way I could. I have been a Coco fan for years. He combines everything that I love: silly humor, great entertainment, variety of guests, live television audience, etc. Plus, I would watch him at night before I went to sleep in college. He is my entertainment when nothing else is on tv and I am always up at that hour. I never thought working for him would be possible.

BUT IT IS! His show is the beginning of something big. Even though he is not yet on the air, he will be around for years to come. He is not going anywhere; I am quite sure of that. For that reason alone, I am going to be taking a giant leap of faith and accept this internship. No brainer right? Well, this is going to cause a lot more extra work and struggle for me.

Internships are unpaid in this industry. Not only will I be working for free for 3 days a week for the show, I also need to get college credit. I need to prove I am a student in order to get this internship. So now, I need to enroll back into school (lose money), like a community college, in order for me to start. Back to school I go! (Isn't it funny? I am not qualified enough for an entry level job, but over qualified for an internship. Where is the middle ground?) Enrolling in a class will be my task for next week.

So aside from school credit, I also need to find another source of income to survive. I will need a job the other 4 days a week (say Thursday-Sunday) to pay rent, bills, gas, etc. Now what job will allow me to do that? I need to find a flexible part time job, and I am assuming it will not be in the industry. Perhaps waiting tables, babysitting, theme parks, etc. It is not ideal for me, but it is in hopes I will be getting in the industry soon.

I am also halting my job search for a bit. I am only going through with this internship, not because I need it ( I have 7 already), but because there is the slightest hope I may grow with the show. Conan is entering its first season, of hopefully many. I asked the girl I interviewed with if there was a possibility of me staying on full time, and she could not promise for there is always that chance of being cancelled. However, she was an intern three years ago, and now she is a producer for the Casting department. Do I need anymore proof?

In total, I will be risking it all for this internship. I will be risking my career job search, my savings to enroll in school, my chances of finding part time work to cover rent, everything I have come out here with, just for the smallest chance I can grow into the show. Crazy?!?!

I think I need a reality check! Still here. okay...

That is the story. That is my new direction: backwards! haha. Seriously though, I am going backwards to hopefully move forward for something that is practically my dream job. I think this is the smartest risk I am taking, but also the steepest. Everything is on the line because nothing is guaranteed. All or nothing. As my mom said, "No risk, no reward." I just hope it leads to reward and not ruin. I am taking it as the biggest investment of my career thus far. That is my approach to this internship.

It is strange to be leaving Disney for a while, but I am still seasonal in FL, so I am just leaving the Studios for a while. This is an answer to my prayers. I just pray I can find the income through odd jobs just to survive out here. I will worry about that next week. But for now... I want to take in this moment.

I am so scared, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. I will be the intern for CONAN! Not just the show, but specific to the Talent and Casting department! CRAZY! I will be dealing with all the celebrities, musical guests, talent, etc that you will see on the show. I will be interacting with the executives of this department, which I am sooo interested in. It could not have been a better department. The girls I will work with are really young and bubbly. They looked so happy working there. I just hope to be one of them some day.

For now, I may be the lowest on the totem pole, but hey, I will be there! So check it out everyone. Watch CONAN on Nov. 8th on TBS!!!

The Waiting Game... again

(written on Thursday 10/14/10)

I cannot remember if I wrote a post on the "Waiting Game" before I moved to LA in the winter, but it seems very Deja-Vu to me.

Anyway, I am posting a few more posts this week because I can. As you can tell by the title, I am trying to sit still and wait for some answers that I hope will come by tomorrow. This week was actually quite productive and unexpected.

I had about 5 interviews this week! I know! Apparently, 3 of them were from the jobs I had applied for last week (of the 24 I chose). I had two phone calls from ESPN, and one from Conan O'Brian's internship program. The internship interview went really well, and I really hope I get it. It would be specific to their talent and casting department, however, it is unpaid.

The other interview I had was through a friend referral to be Jillian Michael's business partner's assistant. It turns out there were some complications with that interview, but I am the top choice for Michael's 2nd assistant.

The final interview came randomly as well. I applied to a generic post online for an non-descriptive inquiry for a personal assistant to a producer some months ago. I never heard back until this week. It turns out, they still needed a personal assistant and it was for Judd Apatow and family! No way! The other assistants were really nice, but there would be no future in growth. I am there only as the personal assistant meaning: household manager, kitchen keeper, glorified babysitter. If I didn't want a big career, this would be great, but still not sure if it is for me. We will see.

Those were the five interviews. All great opportunities with great potential. I hope one of them comes through!

So... here I am... waiting...typing... blogging... not doing much. Just waiting for an answer, waiting for a direction. I was here months ago, and it is a strange feeling. Knowing something could change or it couldn't. I am in this weird limbo.

Oh well, here is to waiting! Hope to return with good news. Until then... have a great rest of your week. I will just be waiting.. right here... haha. Oh my life!

Normal vs. Extraordinary

(written on Tuesday 10/13/10)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have superpowers? Or to have influence like Oprah to accomplish things? Have you ever wanted a "super" job? I have to all of the above.

I have been thinking a lot this week about success as most people do, and it has occurred to me, I do not want to be normal or average. I want to excel in all that I apply myself too; I want to achieve. No, I am not seeking fame or celebrity, but I am seeking the ability to influence others on a large scale. I seek the opportunity to be important to my family, community, and others beyond our boundaries. I wish for an extraordinary career.

Now, this may seem a bit cocky, and I assure you it is not. I am just putting my confidence out there for I want to be heard. There is nothing wrong with being normal in this world. It's just I want to stand out. I want to go beyond what is expected of myself. Maybe I am an overambitious girl, but I feel like all this ambition has no outlet. It has been kept inside for years, and no way out since I have not had the opportunity to apply it elsewhere but my imagination.

The other day, I was walking in a really nice Hollywood house. I drive by them a lot as well. It gets me thinking... is this at all possible for me? Will I ever be that successful to live the way I have dreamed? Is it in the cards for me?

That is why I love meeting and learning about those who are. I love talking to executives for that reason. I want to learn their journey to success. If they can do it, how am I any different? Just because I want something so badly does not mean I will ever get it.

When people ask me what my dream career is, I think of people like Jerry Bruckheimer, Don Hahn, Julie Andrews, and more. I know I will not be the next Jerry Bruckheimer, but I want to strive for a sliver of the amount of success he has had. I do not just want to be content with my own bubble. I want to inspire others, to lead them, to make them believe that they are better than they think, that we all have untapped potential to go anywhere in life. I want inspiration to be my superpower (aside from being invisible or flying of course).

To me, I want to become a successful television executive that has an eye for talent and powerful messages in my programming. I want to start a new idea that family entertainment is the strongest form of entertainment around. I want to push for political and social issues I believe in. I hope to one day make a public speech at a college or university for women or other students. I mean, I ran for student council President every single year since sixth grade and never won. I want to lead.

I am so driven by my idea of helping others and being successful in my career, that I have even started a "Future Wall" in my room. I want to visualize my future. Yes, I have some superficial things on there like Ralph Lauren clothing and a castle to own in France, but it also has strong women leaders, public speeches, a large family in a nice home, and donation to a charity taped on my wall.

Maybe I will never get here, but I at least want to say I tried to get there. I dreamt it, and I went for it. In fact, I may never get there. That thought has crossed my mind, and it is a slight reservation, but I am determined to make a life for myself and others. I want a life to look back upon and be proud and say I have done a lot, seen a lot, and meant a lot to others. It is not A-list celebrity I seek, but the financial means to contribute to all of my passions, interests and issues at heart. I want an extraordinary career in hopes that one day an intern will want to ask me, "How did you make it?"

I wonder what my explanation will be?

Weekly Dilemma... Smoothest or Hardest Course?

(written Wednesday 10/7- Sunday 10/10/10)

Alright, I have calmed down from my last post yesterday. Sorry, I just had to vent and this seemed a great platform to do so. How are you, my followers, doing? I hope you are all doing alright. The weather here is LA has been so strange lately. Always foggy, and not even around 70 degrees; just like Fall! YAY!

Well, like always, I have had a few thoughts running through my head this week, and I am not sure what to do. I have been struggling a bit over the last six months to find a job as you know. I seem to know a lot of people, and yet, nothing has landed. I know something will soon, but that is not the point. Throughout this process, I feel as if I have been open minded to where I land for the first job. Yes, I have an ideal start, but that is not the only thing I am pursuing. I have had interviews for all sorts of jobs, but lately, I have been thinking, maybe I am too picky? Have a been blind to what is right in front of me?

A few weeks ago, I gave a friend of mine a connection that led to a job. I acutally was able to give someone else a job. She was the second person I did that too. How am I able to help others but not myself? Funny, right? Well, I had an hour talk with her the other night about where she is currently working. She is working as a PA in an animation studio that does straight to DVD projects. She told me to not be picky and look into this. She absolutely loves her job, and the best part is: it's with Disney. She is so happy there. Her enthusiasm has made me second guess my process out here, hence my weekly dilemma.

Should I seriously consider working where I could have an easy in, even though it is not at all what I want to do, and still look for something else? Or, should I just work there, grin and bear it, and get experience knowing I will leave it soon? If I go to this department, would it be surrendering on pursuing my path for live television? Am I stupid for not going where I have this contact?

My arguement for taking it:

* It keeps me with Disney and making contacts, which is my ultimate goal for my career.

* I get production experience despite the medium

* Solves the "lack of experience" part of why I have not yet been hired

*Full benefits: health, dental, vision, and good salary

* Great influence and involvement in the creative process

Argument against:

* I love animation, but I am not into it as a career choice; I am one to push full force for what I want

* Once in animation, I hear it is hard to get out of it.

* Projects are years long, so I would be there for a while as a PA and not get other experiences

* I am not passionate at all about their projects

* Animation is all an office job, and I want to be moving around and not inside all day.

So what would you choose? I feel like I am walking a fine line and coming to a fork in the road. Do I take the unexpected and not really desired, but easily accessible, path? Or do I walk the unpredictable path in a direction I am unfamiliar with without knowing the promise it will take me to my desired destination? Am I closed minded for not wanting to take animation?

Depending on this decision, my job hunt will be severely affected. I am not bribed by money, or else this would be a simple choice, go with the animation job. However, I would not be true to my heart. In fact, I wrote an email referring another friend to my contact, and wrote a whole paragraph about how I would need a job too. I put the mouse on the "send" button, but I could not get myself to send it. I could not ask for a job in animation. I deleted the post and just referred my friend.

Is not pursuing that smart or stupid? Am I not logical for not taking it? I don't know, but one friend told me I am not that desperate yet, so I should keep going after what I want. I think I will take that advice for now. But that makes my wallet and stress a bit anxious!! I have been praying about this issue all week, but this is a hard one. I am just afraid of making the wrong decision.

Also, I have not heard from the temp agency since I last finished in Production over a month ago now. I am starting to feel the urgency of finding something soon. In fact, I applied to 24 jobs today. I hope to hear back from some of them soon. This unemployed game is really an emotional roller coaster! Plus being cursed with an over active/worried mind does not help my situation.

What are your thoughts? What path would you take? I hope your decision is as confident as I wish mine could be. I just feel at this point in time, I feel a calling for me beyond the animation/smoothest course path. I feel it is down the unpredictable one of live television with the hopes there will be something someday. Until then... I am trying to figure out my path. Enough thinking for tonight.

Night!

Second Place is Not the Best

(written Tuesday 10/5/10)

Once again, I have come second in another job offer. I was soooo close to it, I felt I had it! This was such a great opportunity, maybe it was too good to be true. It was as close to my dream start as I could get! Ugh, I am sooo....sooo.... I don't know. I feel like I should be mad, but it seems this is how life has gone lately. I shouldn't be surprised I got another rejection, but I am surprised it was so close to what I wanted. What makes it worse was that I came second. Not last, not 5th, but I was the next in line to get it. Just shy of first place. It's like I was out touched by a hair during a swimming race. Can anyone guess the reason? You bettcha! "I am not experienced enough!" Number of times I have heard that excuse: 285 (give or take a few.)

Let me back up and explain. I was in Orlando yesterday, and I had a 2pm flight leaving MCO to LAX. While I was at home last week, I got an email asking for an interview on Monday at 11am. There was no way I could make it because I was in Orlando. I asked for Tuesday, but if I did not come on Monday, I would no longer be considered a candidate. We arranged for a 6pm interview. The job was working on a television talk show as a booker/researcher. I will explain more in a minute.

So.... I left MCO at 2pm, flew into LAX at 4:35pm, and drove straight to the interview. Talk about crazy! Of course, on this day it was actually cloudy and rainy in LA! Not only did the weather suck, but LA people react to rain as if the world is ending, it is so foreign to them. So the drivers were panicky, but to make matters worse, all the highway exits but one were closed leaving the airport. What?! It took us 20 minutes to go .5 miles.

Talk about a nightmare. Eventually getting onto the highway, we faced tons of traffic. Eventually, we gave up and drove through the city. It was now 5:30pm. Rush hour, downtown, raining... there could not have been a worse combination to get to this interview. It took us an hour and a half to go 8 miles. We made it at 6:30pm. I wanted to cry I was so late, but the lack or time management for LAers worked with me on this because the executive was not free until I got there. Awesome.

The interview went well, and I really wanted it. I would be in charge of researching and putting together segment ideas for the show. I came up with about seven on my own and pitched it to them. Working on this show would be an amazing start because it combined my love for tv, with my EMT background, in a talk show where I would get a lot of responsibility with room to grow. I left feeling really good about it.

So today, the next day, I was on my way to the lot to drop off my thank you card for the executive, but she called me and said don't bother. They hired someone else who has more experience. However, they really liked me, I will be on the top of their list to hire throughout the season, I will go far in this industry, I am meant for daytime tv, yadda yadda yadda, and I should go buy myself some coffee. All I took from it was: I came second.

Sometimes I wish our childhood rhymes of "First is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the hairy chest" actually applied to real life. Second is not the best. It is just shy of the best. Just shy of an opportunity. Just shy of being employed.

I cannot wait to be first! To come first someday, oh how that will feel great! These last six months have been filled with so much competition, and I almost win. Almost. I just need to keep working hard for that finish! I think I will take what my brother said, and write down all my rejections and put them in a box. Collect them so when I do when the marathon, I can look at how many individual races I lost to build my endurance and eventually come first.

At least I can say I am making head way. I almost landed a dream start. Maybe this is a sign I am getting closer. I am still determined and focused. My race will come, and my finish will be great! Until then, I am still a close second.

Back Home...In Orlando

(written during 9/31-10/4)

Well, my trip home came and went, but I am now at home again... in Orlando. I am making a quick visit down since the airplanes were causing a layover on my return to LA through Orlando, so naturally, I am staying for the weekend instead. I am hoping to get a few hours to maintain my seasonal status. I need 40 for the year, and this weekend I have 16 scheduled, which is great. Funny enough though, I am only working the movie on the beach at the Grand Floridian for those hours, and not where I am statused at Blizzard. By doing this now, I will have an easier week when I come back down at the end of the month to finish my 40 hours.

Anyway, being back is great. My trip home in NJ went so fast! I could not believe that was two weeks already. I am happy I solved my back issue and that I have a great outlook at getting better. I miss NJ, but I know Fall is coming and so is the colder weather. Unlike NJ, Florida is still the same warm temperature. How I missed the humidity! haha, Jk...sorta.

I am back in the same apartment where I lived last year this time, and it is weird. It feels like my room. It is my room, but with different decorations, so does that still make it my room? It feels like home, and yet, I feel a bit distanced from it. Perhaps because I know it won't go back to that, but aside from NJ, this is the only place I have finally felt settled in years.

I have come to realize this trip home, that I am definitely an East Coast girl as I said in a previous post. I look forward to the day I return to the East, but not for the cold. I like the pace of life: fast, organized, cultured and structured. I miss the weather: 4 seasons, great storms, and sometimes...the humidity. I do not like the extreme temperatures like the Northeast has, but I enjoy the more mild seasons from North Carolina down to Florida.

Orlando may not have all the seasons, but it does get cold. There is a summer and a winter. and it has the personal space one cannot find in a big city. I like the people here, too. Yes, you need to know spanish and you don't need to be as well educated, but the demeanor in general is a lot happier. I feel young in Orlando, and I can do whatever it is I want. I feel the most free here. I love the lifestyle. I can go downtown into the city or stay in the private area outside the parks where I am now. I just cannot stand the bugs or the flatness of the land (FLat FLorida). But oh boy, do I not miss the bugs!

One thing about the East Coast I miss the most is the general concept of time. Californian's have no concept of time management. East Coasters live by the minute where everyday is planned. For someone super organized, I respond to this really well.

Okay going on a tangent.... bring it back here. I am in Orlando just for the weekend, and it feels good to be back. Just by sitting here on the couch, I already feel settled or have that feeling of "home" that I have not yet felt in LA. Los Angeles still feels like an extended visit. Even though I have been there 6 months now, I have not gotten that "I belong here" feeling, and yet I have been out west longer than I lived in Orlando last year. Scary.

But, I will not even think about LA until I am back West. Until then...I am just enjoying my time back East. Back home.

Diagnosis, Doctor!

(written for Monday 9/27- Thursday 9/30)

I am almost on my way to getting my back fixed! YAY!!

Since I have been home, I have been going to the NJ Spine Center in Chatham, NJ. They have been wonderful, and the doctors are really easy to talk too.

I have had an idea for the last few months what is wrong with it, and I can now say... I was right! I knew my disk in my lower back was out of alignment which was leading to a pinched nerve in my left leg, but I did not know what I would have to do about it.I had an MRI done last week, and those images made my back look like a piece of meat! It was so weird to see those detailed images of yourself, but awesome at the same time.

Anyway, long story short, I have a degenerative disk in my lower back, specific to the L5S1 disk. That is right where my tailbone meets my hips basically. The disk has lost its elasticity and fluid, so it is cracking and dying. It will never be fixed, but my body will slowly get rid of it like a splinter. However, the disk is pinching my nerve to my left leg, which is why I cannot sit, sleep, walk or flex my foot without pain. Because it is being pinched, it is really swollen, and we need to calm the nerve down and make it realize it is okay with the disk invading its privacy. To do that, I have a few options, but settled on one.

We were thinking of getting an epidural injection of the steroids/anti-inflammatories into the site where it hurts, but I would rather try something noninvasive, especially since we don't know how long that will last. I will perhaps need surgery down the road, but not now this early in my life. So the last option is to use physical therapy to strengthen my core back muscles and take the anti-inflammatories.

The Doctors said for me to have a healthy back the rest of my life and avoid this again in the future, I must stay in shape. I have to be physically active as much as possible. I took that as, I should try and avoid a desk job. The more I sit around, the more it will weaken my back. So I have to be active and moving for it to be healthy. The only catch is, I can barely move without pain, so how can I be active when it hurts?

That is what I am working on now. I got some exercises for my back and core that I must do everyday. It is in my own hands to heal myself. I am actually excited about this diagnosis because I now have to be active for my own health. I now have to be selective about a job for health reasons. So with this information, I will try to avoid a desk job as much as possible. I need to look for work that is half active and half desk. This I could not be more excited about anyway.

So here is to a new and healthier me! I am glad I have a good future with my back. But here is to a harder and more selective job search! great! (note sarcasm).

Anyway, thank you, mom and dad, for bringing me home and helping me out with the doctors. Mission to NJ accomplished!

Home Back East!

(written for Monday 9/20-Sunday 9/26)

Hey fellow Followers!

Guess what? I am home on the East Coast! No, I did not move back, but I am home for two weeks and a weekend in Orlando. I won't return to LA until Ooctober. That's crazy!It feels so good to be home. I have been home for about a week now, and it has been quite enjoyable. I basically came home quite unexpectedly for a few reasons.

Aside from wanting to see my family, I am mainly home to fix my back. Remember a few weeks ago I learned my insurance did not cover me in CA? Well, the only way for me to figure it out was to fly home and see the doctors here. So I got a ticket within the week, and flew home.

I cannot believe how warm it still is here! It is nice to feel the humidity too. My skin isn't crackling due to dryness, and there are green plants everywhere! How I miss the greenery! I am surprised the leaves are not changing yet, but it was a brutal summer in NJ without much water, so I do not think we will get the turn out like we did a few falls ago.

I was nervous coming home for two weeks because I thought a job would come up or something to prevent me from coming, but it has all worked out. No job, no commitment, and all the time to kill.

I have seen most of my family since I have been home. I have seen my grandmother, parents, cousins, uncle and aunt (mainly at the volleyball high school games, but so what). I have hung out with my grandmother almost everyday, which has been awesome. My dad is in DC, so I cannot see much of him, and I am spending some time with my mom.

Some activities we have done were eating lunch at the Subshop (my favorite), see my church, grandmother's house, a visit from an old CP friend and hiked through the Great Swamp area, and travel on the weekends.

This weekend I went to Brooklyn to visit my brother and see his apartment. The three of us traveled to Columbia to see a friend of ours play volleyball for Cornell. Then on Sunday, we all traveled to DC to see my sister's team play Georgetown, and she played!! She did so well.

Being home has been great because I have still traveled within the east coast, and saw everyone in my family except one brother. I got to watch football on the television saturday afternoon and Monday night. Perfect! And I get to see my kitties!

Overall home is wonderful. I have come to realize that I am definitely an East Coast girl. I will get my beginning experience in LA, and then I will return to the East if I do not go abroad. More to come on that later!

See you soon!

Can you Outgrow Your Dreams?

(Monday 913- Sunday 9/19)

I do not want this post to sound sad or depressing, but this has been a thought on my mind for quite some time. I guess with the natural string of events the last few weeks of not getting into the Studios as I wanted and adjusting to my new routine of not going to the office for the first time in six months, it makes me wonder about a lot of issues.

About two or three posts ago, I wrote a question and said it would be a new post. This is it. The question I wrote was: Is what I wanted still what I want? This is such a key question in my thought process and it does make me wonder. Do we ever outgrow our dreams?

I would like to say the answer is "no" to the later, but I would like to sit on this for a minute. When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was be a doctor. In high school, I became an EMT for five years, and I realized as much as I love anatomy, psychology and medicine, it was not what I was passionate about. I could be good at it, but not great. My next passion was entertainment. I pursued it in college and I fell in love with it. I felt right at home in the studio sets and new I had an act for it. What I am getting to is... I did not outgrow my doctor dream, I just matured from it and chose a different path.

In terms of me working for Disney, this is where it gets tricky. I have loved Disney since childhood, and have not had a passion working for any other company since. It has always been my goal to get to Burbank and work for the Studios. With a lot of work and opportunity, I was able to do so over the last 6 months, but it has still been an up and down roller coaster. I have realized working at the Studios is not all I thought it could be. I loved working in Production, but I felt my talents were not being used. I have been told by HR in order to work for the studios, I need to leave Disney, get experience and come back. I tend to do that, but I almost feel like I am betraying the company by looking elsewhere.

Should I consider working in another department of the company just because it is Disney even though it may not be what I ultimately want to do, or, do I go after what I want with another company and return? Still playing with this question.

Anyway, I feel like I accomplished some of my dreams within the last few months. I worked at the studios. I accomplished working in Production, and I accomplished getting to my #1 Hollywood goal: the Pirates set. Now what? Have I outgrown my dream of working at the Studios since I see little opportunity of getting in? Or do I still see that as the end goal, but I need to find another way around it to get in?

I also have noticed a change in what I ultimately want to do. I first came out here in hopes to become a Studio Executive for Disney. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Now... I am more confused about my direction, but I am itching to get back into live television. I see my self becoming an executive producer for a show or sitcom that is owned by Disney, either on ABC for shows like GMA, Regis and Kelly, etc, or even on Disney Channel. I love the new show, "Good Luck Charlie", because it contains all the elements I love: family, disney, humor, live audience, etc.

I guess to sum all things up... no we do not outgrow our dreams. I think they just evolve over time. Although my goal of being a Studio exec has changed, my current executive producer dream still upholds the same characteristics.

What do you think? Is it possible to outgrow your ultimate dream? Sure, over time we tend to realize we won't become our childhood dream of a firefighter, a ballerina, or a doctor, but I do not think we abandon our dreams all together. Heck, I am working for the company of dreams, and I believe fully in the power of going after what you want. The idea of outgrowing our dreams was a new thought to me, and because I am afraid of growing up, I know I will never let go of mine; they will just evolve with me.

A Dream Come True, Savvy?

(Monday 9/6- Sunday 9/12)

Okay, so it has been almost two weeks since this major event happened in my life, and I am now ready to share it. I have not posted it because I did not want to seem ungrateful at the time, but now I can talk highly about it. No, it is not about being let go, again. I have accomplished one of my major life goals that I thought would never happen! Drum roll please

…………………..

I visited the Pirates movie set!!!! AHHHH!

I still cannot believe it happened! In short, on the day I was told I was not being hired, my bosses remembered me asking to visit Pirates. As a consolation, they had me visit the set as a reward for a good job this summer. I wish I could say I was ecstatic, but I was so numb to the experience because I just found out I was not chosen for the job. It was a bitter-sweet night.

However, once I got on the set, I was really happy! I had no idea what I was in for, so I had low expectations, but what I got was beyond my comprehension.

I first arrived to shadow the Environmental Steward on the film and learn about his job just so I had reason to be on the set. It was so intimidating to walk around. There were hundreds of Pirates extras walking around, eating, or talking on their cell phones (which looked funny!).

The crew call was at night, so the sun was set, but the lights were as bright as day. The set I was facing was the water tank decorated to look like an abandoned hut on the beach. It was soooo cool!!! I managed to stand in the corner by where the Director’s chairs were and the monitor to see what they were filming. I ended up staying for over 3 hours when I was only supposed to be there for one. No one asked about me, so I just stayed out of the way. I think it was family night to visit, because there were sooo many other visitors there that just watched, so I fit right in.

While standing by the monitors, the crew was setting up the scene. It took about an hour just to get the foggy look, the makeup and rehearsals done. They were not shooting a large scene, but it still took a lot of work. The Production Assistants mesmerized me. I want to be one of them!! In my mind, they had the coolest job ever!

The movie was being shot in 3-D, so I had to watch the monitor with the glasses. It looked great in rehearsal. While standing and preparing for the scene, I recognized a few people. I saw the President of my Department, my assistant friend, two other executives, and the “New Regime” all scattered around the set. I got some hellos from the executives, and one talked to me for about 15 minutes. I felt right at home.

A few minutes later, I saw there was a Pirate standing behind me getting his beard finalized, and I realized that it was “Blackbeard”, played by Ian McShane. He was so funny and interesting to listen too. I said hi and he replied but was concentrating on the set. Apparently, he is one of the few actors who wants to be on set even when he is not expected to be. I think that is great!

Another unforgettable moment was seeing all the executives I have followed for years in one circle. There were: the three execs from my floor, Rich Ross (Pres. Of Studios), THE Jerry Bruckheimer, Penelope Cruz, and oh yes…. Hold your breathe…. JOHNNY DEPP!

Never in a million years was I expecting to see Johnny Depp in front of me. Yes, I am a die hard fan, and have been for years, especially as Jack Sparrow. Pirates is the movie that really made me consider working in this industry, so seeing Jack was like nothing I have ever experienced.

In fact, a few minutes prior to this circle meeting, I was standing by the set and I heard a lot of commotion behind me. I turned around and it was Johnny as Jack! He was walking out with his arm around his mother, who was visiting for the day. He walked right past me and just barely brushed my shoulders. I was in shock. I was so happy, but I stayed so still. I said nothing, but inside I was freaking out!

I still can’t get over it. I mean, it is one thing to be seeing Johnny, it is another to see Jack. But it a whole other level seeing Jack Sparrow, Penelope Cruz, Jerry Bruckheimer and others in one circle about 30 yards from me. That is soooo much Hollywood Power! Over 100 million dollars in that one circle. I will never forget that!

The final cherry on top regarding Johnny was seeing him interact on the set. There was a family with two girls ages about 12 and 15 standing behind Jack Sparrow’s chair. Before the scene started shooting, Johnny was talking to the girls for more than 15 minutes. He just talked and talked with them. I was sooo Jealous!! I wanted Johnny to talk to me. He was incredible. He let them touch the costume, acted in front of them, and took pictures with them. No one else in this town would have done that I think. Wow, to be them!

Those were the highlights of visiting the set, and I could not have been happier. Yes, they filmed for an hour after that, but that just added to the experience. In fact, it was just a two-line scene and Jack just ran around the set. I can now officially say I saw Johnny as Jack and act as Jack! I freaking visited the Pirates set!! I wish I had pictures, but those were not allowed.

Despite my disappointment for the staff assistant position, I got to where I dreamed of going for years, even if for an evening. I will never forget it. I accomplished what I came here to do! So if anything, I worked to accomplish my goal of being on the Pirates set!

Summer’s End… Success was Made Afterall

(Monday 8/30- Sunday 9/5)

Well this week came and went, but it also crawled very slowly. I felt like I was just waiting to get to my last day working in Production because I knew it was coming. Yet time did not want to go fast during the week. I am glad it is over, but I will miss the floor terribly.

As I mentioned before in my last entry, my confidence is shaken. I am tried to get through this last week at work, and it was bitter sweet. In some way, I feel free. Free for I do not have to clean that darn kitchen again and free to do whatever it is I want now. Free to pursue a new path in this industry that I am really passionate about.

I also feel like I failed. I did everything I humanly could to prove I wanted to be there. I made so many contacts, did so many projects, but yet it was not enough. If I cannot even land an entry-level job, then how am I ever going to succeed in life? Is what I wanted still what I want? (this question will be another entry shortly). Where did I go wrong, etc? These questions have been racking my brain this whole week, and I am mentally exhausted. It was hard saying goodbye at the end of the week because I really got along with those I worked with these few months.

Tomorrow is Labor Day, and I guess this is the official end of my summer. I started working in Production at the beginning of the summer, and my last day was Labor Day weekend. I gave my bosses some presents before I left and all were receptive.

I got the feeling that some were feeling guilty about the decision, but hey, I can officially say I have the whole Disney Studios Production team on my side. How many people can say that?

When I said my goodbyes, I was surprised on the amount of attention I got from others. I got emails saying really positive things and how they were all surprised I was leaving. One executive said to keep in touch and she will help get to wherever I want to go. Others gave me hugs and I even got a present from my bosses, too!

It felt sooo good to be recognized even for a second. I guess overall, progress was made, and I can only grow from this. I just don’t see the long-term idea because this ending came so quickly.

Anyway, I can say I ended on good terms with everyone there. I look forward to see what the future has, but right now I am a bit sad thinking I will not return there tomorrow. I just pray I will find where I need to go and another temp job will come up soon so I do not have to worry about money.

Despite this being really hard, I have more contacts than I did before, and I have work experience under my belt. Now I just have to pursue what I want from here on out.

Summer is over, so is my job. Summer 2010… you will be remembered. I cannot wait for fall!!

The Worst Week Ever

(written from Tuesday 8/24- Sunday 8/29)

Hi Bloggers,

I am writing this entry today with a very somber mentality and mood. There is not much left for me to feel this week as this was the worst week I have experienced while in Los Angeles. I honestly just need to get through it and never look back.

By now I am sure you are all used to reading my rather up and down, almost bi-polar, turbulent journey of trying to make it out here. I promise I am not that bi-polar in person, I just tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and react to how I feel.

I will try and make this short, since I do not want to dwell on the negatives of this week much longer, but I know you need an update. Here it goes…

First thing you should know is I have a bad back. I have had a herniated disk in my lower back since I was fifteen, and over the last eight years, I have dealt with it fine. It is always a nuisance, but I just deal with it as part of my daily life. Well this summer, I went running and my disk slipped out. I could barely walk for about two weeks, and it went back into place and I didn’t think anything of it. However, today, I am in so much pain because I cannot sleep through the night, walk, sit, or drive without pain. It is my left leg that hurts, and I know I have a pinched nerve from my disk since my leg, not my back, hurts ironically enough. Just that in itself has been causing a lot of stress on my body, and has made the last three weeks really suck. I am at the point now where I just want to scream so hard because I feel so much discomfort, and it has been hard to get through this week.

Second issue… I went to a doctor this week for my back to get a diagnosis on my pain. I literally walked in and out within 20 minutes, and the doctor just gave me a prescription for the pain and told me I needed tests. That was it. I tried scheduling the tests a few days after the appointment, but it turns out my insurance only covers me in the state of NJ. I have no coverage for anything out in California. That now puts a HUGE damper on my speedy recovery because I now have to solve the insurance issue before I see a doctor. Seriously?? No one covers me in CA? How much do we pay a month?? UGH!!

The third event that happened this week was my roommate got really sick this week. It seemed like food poisoning, but the next thing I know I get a phone call from her in the hospital. She had emergency gall bladder removal surgery! I rushed to her side at work to make sure she is okay, because it is really hard to live somewhere on your own without family nearby. She was okay, but luckily her mom flew into town and helped with her recovery. I knew I could not help her too much with my bad back, so I was thankful her mom came. So far, her recovery has been really difficult as she has been in and out of the hospital about three times since the surgery. I know it will take time for her to get better, but it seems this week does not want to help us out.

Issue #4. I was given four John Williams tickets to see him at the Hollywood Bowl, and I figured after a tough week, this would be a great activity. Well, we parked and walked inside but then our tickets were rejected my the usher. They were not valid. It turns out the tickets were for the previous night, and I had received them for today. So we were unable to go inside. Frustrated, I walked to my car and it was stacked parking! There was only one spot for a car to get out, and luckily, I had it. If I had to stay, I would have lost it!

The last and final event, and the most important, is... after working for Physical Producion for 3.5 months, interviewing for the position, and feeling good about my chances, I did not get the job. The executives hired someone else. I am crushed. I really felt like this could have been my break, but guess not. The reasons for why I was let go I do not agree with, and I think there were other issues involved, but I won’t get into that. So I will finish next week for the new girl to begin after Labor Day weekend.

I have no idea where I will go from here, but I have a about a week and a half to keep working. I don’t really feel like going back, but I know it is the right thing to do. I will handle it with grace and maturity to prove that I wanted to be there.

In all, that is the fun times of my horrible week. I will try to stay positive and see that I do have a place for this industry, but right now, I am really shaken. I do not feel confident as I once was. I just need to get through this week.

Until then…. Hope you guys are all doing better than I am!

A Massive Apology!!

Hello Bloggers,

I am so sorry to have been keeping you waiting for me to update you on my journey out West. I cannot believe almost two months have passed since then, and so much has happened. I try to stay on top of it, but then something comes around and makes me procrastinate.

I have no real excuse since I have loads of time on my hands, but I guess I have been lacking the motivation most of all. I promise you a load of updates are coming right now, so you can see where I have been and what I have been doing these last seven weeks. I left you off with a great hope I would be working for the Disney Studios, and I will be picking up from that point. I have written my entries from the week I experienced them.

I apologize for my delay in entries. It is not fair to you loyal readers. If I start slacking again…yell at me! I will try from here on out to make sure I blog once a week either on Fridays or Sunday nights, so keep checking in for posts.

I hope I have not lost many of you, but I will try to stay on top of this from now on. Thank you for your loyalty and dedication. Hope you are all doing well.

Your honest blogger,

Ashley

One Moment: A Life-Changing Instant

I know this is late, but I mean to publish this on Friday, however, life's events got in the way. Let me explain.

This past week since my last entry, was one week of random events. Each of these random events were strong reminders to me that life can change on a moment's notice. All you need is one instananeous moment to change the very direction of your life. It seemed to come in good and bad forms for me this week. Nothing happened to me personally, it was affected by those around me.

One moment would be relating to a distant friend of mine whom I have only worked with for 2 months last fall. She was in a dreadful car accident that shattered her pelvis. For months, she is confined to the walls of her house, and the world of her family where she has to learn to walk again and stand. This accident, although 1.5 months ago, has made me realize that no one is able to predict the future. My friend's strength, courage and faith has been sooo inspiring to me, I do not wake up a day without praying for her recovery. I can only compare it to how I would handle it, I really don't think I could. It made me realize that I have to be so grateful for what I have and those around me.

The second moment related to my roommate. This past Wednesday night, my roommate got really sick and went to the hospital. Apparently, she had an unrepairable infected gall bladder, and had emergency surgery to remove it. I have been trying to take care of her as best I could over the last few days, but her mother flew in to do just that. Her incident was so fast to develop it blew my mind. All you need is that one moment for your life to change whether it is a week or months to your entire destiny.

There were also a few other events with friends throughout the country. One had a performed as Darth Maul in front of George Lucas, another got a phone call answering the prayer for a leadership position, etc. Personally, I have not been able to get the idea of an earthquake out of my head as they have been in my dreams the last few nights.

With all of these outside events happening around me, I have come to terms that life can/will change. All you need is one simple moment. That is it. Our very existence can come down to one split second. Depending on how you view the world, you can take this as pure positivity, meaning the world has so many possibilities that something miraculous can happen. Or, you can see it as purely negative: it is just a moment for your life to be ruined.

Personally, I would like to think I am the positive one. Although there seems to be more bad stuff than good in the world these days from crimes, accidents, you name it, there also seems to be tons of good: travel anywhere on a moment's notice, your big break, winning the lottery, finding your true love, etc. There can be so much that can happen.

What I am getting at is never underestimate the potential of your day to day life. Each day can become something amazing or something you never expected.

I will apply this to my temp job and every aspect of my life. I am waiting for my moment. My Big Break. I am praying for the day my current department says, "You're hired." I cannot wait to hear those words from anybody. The day I do, I think I will just cry tears of happiness.

By looking at how those who face hardships are so grateful and genuine, I have come to realize that my life, as sometimes boring as it can be, is actually amazing. I will take the cons of this position and make them positive. I cannot dweal and worry so much on the tiny details. While others are needing help to walk, I can at least walk into the Walt Disney Studios, as I have imagined in my room as a teenager, and say I am here. By seeing that perspective, my life is awesome.

I will take every moment of my day and fill it with something. I can never predict what is coming around the corner, but I sure hope that I remain grateful for my life, my friends, and my family. Only I can make it worthwhile... even on a moment's notice. I cannot wait for my moment to arrive.

A Generic Title

There really is not anything big I have to talk about in this post, so I have a title that reflects just that point. Deal with it, IKE!

It has been really quiet on the work front. Most of the execs are gone on vacation, and when they are gone, so are the assistants. I end up being the only one in my corner for half the day. I don't mind it, but it is a bit boring. However, this week, I am so physically exhausted despite my bosses not being here.

I have undertaken the task of cleaning out the entire supply closet. This was no easy feat. I knew two months ago, I would be the one to organize this massive monster of a project. It literally looked like the room was going to cave in on itself because nothing was put away, so it was all stacked on each other.

It took me all week to get through it, but about 3 bruised knuckles, 10 papercuts, 100 squats, 200 dead lifts later, I officially finished it today! YAY! The room was about 20x60 ft, basically a large rectangle. I had to go through all the supplies, some were over 15 years old, and decide to toss, donate or keep. I have touched so many dirty, jagged boxes, that my hands are all cracked from the dryness. There were some supplies I never knew existed in there such as typewriter label attachments or video cassette tape refills.

Anyway, that was my huge project this week, so I did not blog much on this or my other random blog, so I apologize. I actually wish I took before and after pictures of this project, because I am quite proud of the outcome.

This leads me to my next thought. I have always been a super strong organizer. If I had taken pictures of all the projects I have done, I would have a large portfolio. I always thought in my 30s I would start my own business, and it could be a bakery or, my new thought, a professional organizing service. Why not? I feel most productive when I am planning and organizing, not sitting at a computer, and being able to see the results of my work. I think it could happen!

So what I am going to try to do is make a flyer for my business and send it out to friends or small businesses and see if they need any personal re-organizing for a small fee. My plan would be not to charge until they see the improvements and are proud of my work. That way it is always making me honest to work my hardest. Thoughts? It could be a side of small income I guess. I am really serious about this too.

On a side note, I have been trying to go to the gym everyday. So far, I have gone everyday but one this week. I have attended my training session as well as the body workout classes. I really hope I can see a difference soon, but I know it takes time. In terms of my recent goal of weight loss, I thought I would have all 12 pounds gone by now, I only have four. I will just keep plugging away. I will be fit real soon.

Oh! Also a new update. I bought my ticket to Orlando a few weeks ago! I will be there from Oct 23-31st! I hope to get my seasonal hours done soon, plus I will be there during my favorite time of year. I cannot wait to see Mickey's Not so Scary! If you are in the area then, let me know, I want to see my friends again!

I guess the last update I have for you is... still no news on the job front. I have one interview on the 20th for Disney Toon Studios, but not sure if I really want it, and a call back for Dick Clark Productions, but they may not have budget yet to hire me. We will see. This position, the staff position, I interviewed for has not told me their results yet. I am temping until Sept 3rd, so that is all I can count on. I will let you know if anything changes.

My life for the last two weeks has literally been: wake up 9:25am, go to work 9:30am, work till 7pm, gym till 10:30ish, shower, eat, So You Think You Can Dance DVR, and bed.

That is it! I have a busy weekend coming up with my roommate's Feel Good Film Festival (check it out online...it's legit!), and a possible day at Disneyland on Sunday for a friend who is leaving town.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

P.S.

PS. Another point I want to note, and then I am done blogging for today. Yesterday, one of the first assistants told me to attend a screening being held in the main theater of the lot to see what was aired at ComiCon last week. Of course I jumped and literally ran to the opportunity.

At this screening, one of the main creative Disney execs introduced first glance looks to Tron. We saw a 6.5 minute clip of the film, and it actually looks great! I am not the demo they want for this film, but the music is exciting. I think this is a great start to see what projects we choose with the new regime.

The second look was at Pirates!!! Jack Sparrow talked for about 2 minutes on a montage, and it was in 3D! I don't like 3D, but having Jack Sparrow reach out to me to share some rum was an amazing experience! I can only imagine what the rest of the film will look like. I was laughing so hard and soo excited I could barely contain myself!

The last few things they covered were Marvel's Captain America films (Marvel now acquired by Disney), the Avengers and Thor. I like them, and they look good, but I was focused on Pirates!

The final item was a 30 second descitption of the new Guillermo Del Toro take of the new Haunted Mansion! He is totally redoing it, and it will be darker, scarier and edgier than anything we can expect; totally true to the ride. When I saw the 30 second animation of the mascot, I got chills up my spine. It is so exciting!

Let's just say seeing these sneak peaks to the properties I love absolutely made me love where I was. I am so happy to be working for the company that makes Pirates or will make Haunted Mansion. I love working for this company, and that sneak peak really put it into more perspective for me. I am here at an exciting transition in the company, and I will eventually get to be creative and call those projects my own someday. Until then, staff assistant is a great start, temp or not.

A Change in Attitude...Again?

Aside from my money rant, I had a really good weekend. My friend Fernando was in town from Orlando, and he stayed with me. We had so many great times, I was sad to see him go. It felt great having someone come and visit you when you are far away from what you know.

One of the events that I was originally going to do with Fernando was an ABC promo taping on Saturday. He ended up not going, and I did; it was well worth it. ABC had invited me to attend a "fake red carpet" event they were filming to air as a 30 minute promo on the network this fall. I assume they were trying to highlight their comedies by having it look like there was an awards ceremony they were attending.

In reality, there was no awards session, but a red carpet set up of about 50 feet. Most of the actors you will see were extras or background workers dressed to look like celebrities. I was given the role to play "paparazzi reporter" on the media side of the carpet. I was given a notebook and a pen to make it look as if I were interviewing the stars as they stopped in front of me. I was stationed right behind the hosts' corner where Nancy O'Dell hosted with her male co-host Cameron (don't know last name). I am pretty sure you will be able to see me on this promo when it airs because I was so close the entire time to all the cameras.

This whole experience was a blast. I met some really cool people, such as Rodolfo, a fake celebrity who is actually a professional dancer from Cuba, or Ann Marie, a Disneyland CP hoping to break into the biz like myself.

What was great about the event, was I watched the people who put it on, and I asked everyone and anyone questions about how they got this gig. The extras told me I should join LA Casting or Central Casting if I am intersted in background work (which I am). I talked to Mr. "Look-a-like Tom Cruise" from England, who has made his career in look a likes.

Then we also talked to the host Cameron about his experiences. It is funny to me how people end up where they never thought they would. Cameron was a model who turned Soap Opera star, now hosting on live television. It occured to me, I want a career like that. I want to be able to do many projects and not have a necessarily straight path.

It also led me to realize that I do not want an office job. I must take them now, but eventually, I want to be on my own schedule and be active and around everywhere. If average people can do it, why can't I? Why can't I have the super career I was looking for? I was a bit down on Friday because I was really questioning whether this current temp position is something I want full time, and I realized on Saturday, it is.

Just because I am a Staff Assistant for a year does not mean I have carved only one path for myself. I can use it to make contacts, build my resume, allow me to have time to better myself physically, and do some side projects on the weekends. Then after this position, I may become something more than just a 1st assistant, like the girl before me and the girl before her, and actually have job with more responsibility. Maybe I have been looking at this the wrong way.

Also, I have never wanted to pursue acting or modeling in Hollywood because everyone does it. I hate being like everyone else, that is why I have resisted it. However, after Saturday, I was told over and over again I should at least try. They were right. I do not want to be a top model, but maybe try a catalogue model or hair model. If I ever had the talent to act, I would like to be an action actress or in a romantic comedy. But that is just a dream. But why could it not happen? I am in the epicenter of it all, so I should at least try once. Who knows what can happen from it.

So in all, the event on Saturday made me re-evaluate where I am. I am in a good spot for a job. It may be a lot lower on the totem pole than I want, but I can learn and grow from it. I now have the ambition to try other things like the hair modeling, but I need to get in shape first (hence the real reason/push for the gym). I also have the desire to prusue event production because I could see myself working behind the scenes under pressure during a live shoot, and I think I would be good at it.

I like this new perspective I gained, and it was really needed. Plus, it was also fun seeing some real celebrities on the red carpet like Patricia Heaton, Matthew Perry and the man who played Rev. Camedon on 7th Heaven. I love to look at them because they have made it. All of them are normal people, so if they can do it, why can't I? I feel reassured once again for at least a little bit, and I want to change my attitude in the way I see my definition as Staff Assistant. It is actually a great start.

My First Money Mistake? Yes or No?

I am usually sooo good with my money, actually, about all the time. I only spend it if I have too. I have my savings and then I have my little spending money I allow myself; I am just frugal by nature, up until now at least. It seems I may have just made my first money purchasing mistake, but I am trying to debate why it is a good thing.

I went to try LA Fitness for the afternoon on Sunday, and I ended up liking it a lot. So, I immediately signed up for membership. The deal was 30 dollars a month for all access to California LA Fitness Gyms, I can bring 2 friends for free any time I come, attend all classes with no fee, unrestricted access to pool, sauna, weights, the whole deal, etc. Sounded great, so I got it. Thirty bucks is definitely do-able.

Well, here is where I get in trouble. They had a 1 hour session with a personal trainer free for joining and I took it. It was so good! I literally got my butt kicked. I had not worked out that many muscle groups in a long time, and I am soooo sore! It felt so great, but now I can barely walk.

After the session, I was so out of it, and they started talking money for the personal trainer program. I knew I could not stretch it, or at least hate spending the money on it. Then after refusing for a bit, they gave me a "deal" for 100 bucks a month to get me 4 training sessions. 25 bucks a week? Not too bad, if you think about it, that is about a trip to the movies and a drink, which I do normally. Then again, I am now paying 130 bucks/month for a gym! Ahhh! I thought I could cancel anytime, but I just got an email saying I was committed for 12 months and my only option to "cancel" within the next year is to "freeze" my program.

What if I absolutely cannot afford it!? Plus, I have no idea if I will even be here in LA for a year. What happens if I do have to cancel before the 12 months, do I have to pay it all in full? I read the fine print before I signed, as anyone should, and based on what the trainer was telling me, it seemed I could cancel as long as I give a 10-20 day notice before my next billing period.

Is this paying for a personal trainer good or a mistake? I know I can only get in shape from it, so for that, it is great. I need a trainer to push me; it is the only way I respond and challenge myself. I am able to be healthy by myself, but I need a coach to stay in shape (not just healthy), I respond better to structure and and outside force motivating me when it comes to excercise. I have come to see this "purchase" as an investment in myself. I will pay the money for a better me, to help me reach my goals, and feel good about myself.

However, I am afraid with not having a set job and other expenses just to cover, I am not going to be able to afford this. I just hope I can keep it going. The thought of $1300 a year for a gym scares my half to death because that seems like my entire life's savings! Do I even make that much?! haha, no, seriously! If it is so good for me, why do I feel stressed about this decision, as if I am throwing money down the drain?

I know I will have to make some cutbacks, but the thing is, I do not have much to cut back on! I only pay for gas, rent, food, and some fun. This July was so expensive for me in terms of those basics along with a car checkup, plane flight home, and contacts with eye exam. I know I need to start helping my parents out with my health and car insurance, and here I am signing up for a PT. I think I will cut back on my going out/fun habits, which would be my drink a week, weekly subway sandwiches, occasional movie, etc.

On a side note, I am also trying really, really hard to get to Orlando! I am sooooo close to booking a week flight in October, despite the job situation because I need to get my seasonal cast member hours done asap. That expense alone (plane flight + food) will be around 500 bucks.

Can you tell I am feeling a little stressed by this decision? What do you think? Is paying for the Physical Training sessions a good investment in myself or a mistake? I cannot wait for the day in which I have the means to afford a great lifestyle.