A Breakthrough to Risk It All!

(written on Friday 10/15/10)

I heard back, and I have good news! I got the CONAN Internship!!!! YAYAYAYYAY!!

Okay, bringing it back down to earth. I got the internship!! I am sooo excited! This is a breakthrough for me. I have had my first yes in months! I am so excited. Did I say that already?

Breathe in.... breath out.... phew.... okay!

Now that my sanity is back, let me explain what this means. As many of you know, Conan O'Brian was kicked out of NBC last winter for some ridiculous reasons. He has not been on television since, but has signed a deal to start his own show on TBS. This new show, cleverly named, CONAN, will air on November 8th at 11pm.

Since Conan's disappearance, his popularity has skyrocketed. He is now one of the "untouchables" in Hollywood. His is being treated as if he is a movie star these days, and has such a huge following. Aside from that, working for him is even harder than talking to him. He brought over his staff from NYC when he moved to LA last year, so there have been few openings to work for him.

Now over the last 2 years, I have been applying to him in whichever way I could. I have been a Coco fan for years. He combines everything that I love: silly humor, great entertainment, variety of guests, live television audience, etc. Plus, I would watch him at night before I went to sleep in college. He is my entertainment when nothing else is on tv and I am always up at that hour. I never thought working for him would be possible.

BUT IT IS! His show is the beginning of something big. Even though he is not yet on the air, he will be around for years to come. He is not going anywhere; I am quite sure of that. For that reason alone, I am going to be taking a giant leap of faith and accept this internship. No brainer right? Well, this is going to cause a lot more extra work and struggle for me.

Internships are unpaid in this industry. Not only will I be working for free for 3 days a week for the show, I also need to get college credit. I need to prove I am a student in order to get this internship. So now, I need to enroll back into school (lose money), like a community college, in order for me to start. Back to school I go! (Isn't it funny? I am not qualified enough for an entry level job, but over qualified for an internship. Where is the middle ground?) Enrolling in a class will be my task for next week.

So aside from school credit, I also need to find another source of income to survive. I will need a job the other 4 days a week (say Thursday-Sunday) to pay rent, bills, gas, etc. Now what job will allow me to do that? I need to find a flexible part time job, and I am assuming it will not be in the industry. Perhaps waiting tables, babysitting, theme parks, etc. It is not ideal for me, but it is in hopes I will be getting in the industry soon.

I am also halting my job search for a bit. I am only going through with this internship, not because I need it ( I have 7 already), but because there is the slightest hope I may grow with the show. Conan is entering its first season, of hopefully many. I asked the girl I interviewed with if there was a possibility of me staying on full time, and she could not promise for there is always that chance of being cancelled. However, she was an intern three years ago, and now she is a producer for the Casting department. Do I need anymore proof?

In total, I will be risking it all for this internship. I will be risking my career job search, my savings to enroll in school, my chances of finding part time work to cover rent, everything I have come out here with, just for the smallest chance I can grow into the show. Crazy?!?!

I think I need a reality check! Still here. okay...

That is the story. That is my new direction: backwards! haha. Seriously though, I am going backwards to hopefully move forward for something that is practically my dream job. I think this is the smartest risk I am taking, but also the steepest. Everything is on the line because nothing is guaranteed. All or nothing. As my mom said, "No risk, no reward." I just hope it leads to reward and not ruin. I am taking it as the biggest investment of my career thus far. That is my approach to this internship.

It is strange to be leaving Disney for a while, but I am still seasonal in FL, so I am just leaving the Studios for a while. This is an answer to my prayers. I just pray I can find the income through odd jobs just to survive out here. I will worry about that next week. But for now... I want to take in this moment.

I am so scared, nervous, excited and anxious all at the same time. I will be the intern for CONAN! Not just the show, but specific to the Talent and Casting department! CRAZY! I will be dealing with all the celebrities, musical guests, talent, etc that you will see on the show. I will be interacting with the executives of this department, which I am sooo interested in. It could not have been a better department. The girls I will work with are really young and bubbly. They looked so happy working there. I just hope to be one of them some day.

For now, I may be the lowest on the totem pole, but hey, I will be there! So check it out everyone. Watch CONAN on Nov. 8th on TBS!!!

Second Place is Not the Best

(written Tuesday 10/5/10)

Once again, I have come second in another job offer. I was soooo close to it, I felt I had it! This was such a great opportunity, maybe it was too good to be true. It was as close to my dream start as I could get! Ugh, I am sooo....sooo.... I don't know. I feel like I should be mad, but it seems this is how life has gone lately. I shouldn't be surprised I got another rejection, but I am surprised it was so close to what I wanted. What makes it worse was that I came second. Not last, not 5th, but I was the next in line to get it. Just shy of first place. It's like I was out touched by a hair during a swimming race. Can anyone guess the reason? You bettcha! "I am not experienced enough!" Number of times I have heard that excuse: 285 (give or take a few.)

Let me back up and explain. I was in Orlando yesterday, and I had a 2pm flight leaving MCO to LAX. While I was at home last week, I got an email asking for an interview on Monday at 11am. There was no way I could make it because I was in Orlando. I asked for Tuesday, but if I did not come on Monday, I would no longer be considered a candidate. We arranged for a 6pm interview. The job was working on a television talk show as a booker/researcher. I will explain more in a minute.

So.... I left MCO at 2pm, flew into LAX at 4:35pm, and drove straight to the interview. Talk about crazy! Of course, on this day it was actually cloudy and rainy in LA! Not only did the weather suck, but LA people react to rain as if the world is ending, it is so foreign to them. So the drivers were panicky, but to make matters worse, all the highway exits but one were closed leaving the airport. What?! It took us 20 minutes to go .5 miles.

Talk about a nightmare. Eventually getting onto the highway, we faced tons of traffic. Eventually, we gave up and drove through the city. It was now 5:30pm. Rush hour, downtown, raining... there could not have been a worse combination to get to this interview. It took us an hour and a half to go 8 miles. We made it at 6:30pm. I wanted to cry I was so late, but the lack or time management for LAers worked with me on this because the executive was not free until I got there. Awesome.

The interview went well, and I really wanted it. I would be in charge of researching and putting together segment ideas for the show. I came up with about seven on my own and pitched it to them. Working on this show would be an amazing start because it combined my love for tv, with my EMT background, in a talk show where I would get a lot of responsibility with room to grow. I left feeling really good about it.

So today, the next day, I was on my way to the lot to drop off my thank you card for the executive, but she called me and said don't bother. They hired someone else who has more experience. However, they really liked me, I will be on the top of their list to hire throughout the season, I will go far in this industry, I am meant for daytime tv, yadda yadda yadda, and I should go buy myself some coffee. All I took from it was: I came second.

Sometimes I wish our childhood rhymes of "First is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the hairy chest" actually applied to real life. Second is not the best. It is just shy of the best. Just shy of an opportunity. Just shy of being employed.

I cannot wait to be first! To come first someday, oh how that will feel great! These last six months have been filled with so much competition, and I almost win. Almost. I just need to keep working hard for that finish! I think I will take what my brother said, and write down all my rejections and put them in a box. Collect them so when I do when the marathon, I can look at how many individual races I lost to build my endurance and eventually come first.

At least I can say I am making head way. I almost landed a dream start. Maybe this is a sign I am getting closer. I am still determined and focused. My race will come, and my finish will be great! Until then, I am still a close second.