My Life... A Grand Adventure?

This week I had some exciting things happen that were completely random. One would be a spontaneous concert on the lot from Plain White Ts, who are apparently a Disney signed band (got to high five the musicians while dancing with a glass of free wine in hand), Chuck E Cheeses to celebrate a 32 year old friend's birthday, ABC networking event at a gay club, and potentially walking the red carpet tomorrow for a special promotion to air in the fall. It seems life here can change within an instant from being a boring and average day to lead to something quite unexpected.

Knowing that is true, it would be right to assume that living in LA is like one, giant, big, grand adventure. Right? I guess it is, but sometimes I may argue otherwise. I have had some great experiences from my Cinderella makeup makeover to those listed above, but is it wrong to say I still want more?

I come from a small town and great family, but I have always pictured this great and exciting life for myself where I would have so many accomplishments, travels, and goals done from myself. I want to live an exciting life with adventure and romance, and sometimes I feel sooo far away from that.

For example, I am now in the routine of work in an office job. Wake up at 9:15, leave at 9:30, work 10-7, gym till 9, then socialize. Every single day. This. Repeats. Every. Single. Day. I like the stability, but now it is not exciting.

I have always related to Belle from Beauty and the Beast for just that reason. I want to be destined to something great and successful, and I want it so much more than I can tell. I see myself moving to London for a year or two within the next two years to get that abroad experience. I have even dreamt I would meet my husband-to-be abroad since I was little like some sort of fairytale.

Can fairytales and dreams of our youth really come true? I have completely believed that, and I even work for a company who lives on it. I would not doubt it for a second.... except for one thing.

I had a run in with a particular celebrity twice this week both at unexpected times. He was tall and attractive, and I have actually never seen a single movie he had done. I only know him by seeing him in pop culture media. Anyway, let's just say, we had these chance encounters, but at the end of the second time, he said hi to me first and I responded but kept walking.

I immediatly phoned my two brothers to tell them of this event and they went on as crazy brothers do saying I need to ask him out next time, then we will date, then we will be in a relationship...yadda yadda yadda. Let's just say, it was a nice thought, and I immediatly shut it down. Then after a few minutes of discussion my brothers said, "You can be so defeatist sometimes" and why would it not happen to me?

They had a point. I was so quick to shut it down for being impossible, but in reality, maybe not this particular situation, it could happen. Why because I work an office desk or choose to be an average person must I assume someone in the public eye is not touchable? It could totally happen if it were meant to happen. What a big adventure it would be if it did happen! Life would never be the same.

I am not saying that is my grand adventure, but I continue to dream that one will someday come. But my main point is this: Why are we so quick to believe fairytales in stories, yet in reality, we dismiss them as impossible? I think we should all still stay open to the possiblity things beyond our circumstances can happen and who knows where they will lead. If datinga celebrity is possible for a small town girl, then is there anything off limits? It seems the world is completely open to infinite possibilities!

I am not saying my chance encounter is going to go anywhere, but maybe next time, I will be open to the possibility and say something more than "hello."

Time and Choices

Time and Choices. They are simple concepts that truly dictate how we run our lives. I have been wondering a lot about these two words within the last few weeks. This is a post I have been meaning to write for the whole month of July, but I am just now getting to it.

Throughout this month, I have spent some unplanned time watching movies that deal a lot with traveling through time, or seeing the consequences of our actions. Movies I have seen this month include: Back to the Future 1 and 2, Pirates 1,2, and 3,Valley Girl, Hot Tub Time Machine, Titanic, She's Out of My League, and Enchanted. These films are so different, yet they all have a connecting thread: each of the characters make life-altering decisions based on their given circumstances (okay...maybe not Valley Girl, but still interesting).

Anyway, it got me to thinking, how much of my life is planned and how much of it is based on my individual decisions? I am not trying to get too deep into this philosophical arguement, but I have been trying to really see and understand if any of my choices for a job either send me on the wrong direction or the way to a grand career.

I am having some serious thoughts come up as I see this staff position is being pushed to hire as we speak. First of many, should I accept it if it is offered? If you asked me this question 2 months ago, I would have said, "Yes!" Now, I am starting to question if this is really for me. I am tired of being bored. I want to be used. It is meant for a year to year and a half, but by that time I will be 24.5 years old going on 25, and since I am not a first assistant, that would probably be my next job for 1.5 years, and then I will be 26.5 and just finishing being an assistant. Do I want that!? I feel like time is ticking, and I need a bigger position.

Secondly, do I go freelance or stay studio side? Freelance scares the bejeezus out of me because there is a lack of stability. Then on the other hand, there is the freedom of your schedule. I can pick and choose my projects, and I can do other things on the side. I am a well rounded person, and I do not just want to be defined by my work. I have other aspects of my life I want to pursue.

Next, I have had some offers with Reveille come and pass me by in terms of a job. I was asked to be considered for the Executive Producers' assistants as three of them were leaving within one week. I said no to the first for being unsure if reality television is where I want to be and also because it is the job from the underground. These execs are top profile and among top 10 reality producers in Hollywood. If I accepted, I would have no life, and you would never hear from me again for the year, probably, haha. So I said no, then I said yes I wanted to be considered for the other just to see what would happen. It turns out they said no to me because they want someone with agency experience, which I do not have.

Dispite all of these questions, there is still one that lingers on in my mind that bothers me the most -Do I choose television or film as my career path? I have been told by others I am too young to decide this decision, but I disagree. If I know this answer, then I can make a set career path for myself and go without feeling like I am wasting time or afraid to make the wrong decision. I have been meeting people in both the television and film world, and I am sooo intrigued by television, but I have ended up working in film. I don't know where to go from here, and this is freaking me out.

It may not sound like it, but I have calmed down considerably about worrying over every single aspect of my life, but I am still nervous about this whole move to LA. I am still scared I am not going to get to where I need to be if I do not start now.

How am I sure I will make the right decision? I think another reason why I am so antsy to get my first job done as soon as possible is because I still do not see myself staying in LA. How much time do I give it? I see all the execs who have lived here for 20+ years and never wanted to return home. I feel different than that. See, I love the weather, but I miss those most important to me, and I am not comfortable with the decision of settling in LA. So, I just don't want to take my time getting somewhere, because I feel rushed to get out.

Another point that needs to be made...last week Disney had some bad press published about a film we are having issues with. Well, it turns out the project will take some time off to fix things, which essentially means, the people on the film have lost their job until things pick back up. If I had gotten the assistant position I interviewed for in May, then I would be in that boat. I would be out of work for a month maybe more. Everything happens for a reason right? Now I am thankful that was not me and I have an office position.

So based on all of these choices, timing is everything. How dependent are we on these factors and how much of it is in our control? I was upset with not getting the assistant position, but now I am thankful, so was timing on my side or not? Timing is usually not on my side, for example, with the Reveille positions, and when pilots were hiring PAs and I missed the hiring period by a few weeks both last year and this year, and temping when offered an assistant position within my first week here. Does everything come down to timing and choices?

Which leads me to another point. I talked about how I wanted to be a doctor most of my childhood to a co-worker, and I admitted that by doing this staff position I am unsure if I am putting my best skills and strengths to use. My decision to not pursue medical school was a decision I made my senior year in high school. Was that the right decision? I hope so, but I will use that as a backup career plan I think.

Anyway, this post is long enough, so I will conclude here. This month has really had me on my toes about how every small decision affects another. There is still a lot of possibilties and unknown choices I know are coming, and I am ready. I just hope I make the right ones and I get to live the life I imagined for myself someday. But that too depends on timing and choices...

Some Changes This Way Come

So now that my update is done... I do have some issues I want to discuss. This post will be dedicated to the upcoming changes at work as well as personal life.

Working at the Studios has been an interesting experience. I won't say I am having fun, but I will say I am liking where I am. I have noticed within the last few weeks I have become situated with my position. I enjoy who I work for, who I work with, and how I can get good contacts for personal networking as well by meeting others on the floor. For the first time, I can see myself staying in this position for the year it would be used for. I have been thinking about it, and I have already been at the Studios for 4 months and it has gone fast, so what would be another 8-10 or so?

My only question is, would they hire me if I knew I was leaving in the year or so? Not sure, but based how I am getting used to the floor and getting compliments from my presence in the office, I think I am a really good candidate for staying as the Staff Assistant.

Speaking of which, HR approached me this week, and my position is now open on the internet for others to apply. I had no idea, so I know now they are really looking to fill this seat sooner rather than later. I have a feeling that this position will be filled by the end of the summer. So if you are interested, apply! I won't mind, honest.

I have noticed that with this position open again, the people around me have been pretty secretive about the process. I don't like how my relationship has to change for this, but oh well. I just want to be hired! So that is change number 1: the position is open and will be hiring sooner or later. I am prepared!

Change Number 2: I cannot tell you all of the details, but there is another position that opened up online that is a new positions because the "New Regime" is doing some executive shuffling with creating some new positions. It seems it will be an interesting shift.

Change #3: This is brand new as of today. I was called in for an interview for an exec assistant with another television production company. I will take it, but what if I get it? What to decide? I guess this is more of a change in choice.

Change #4: My relationship with one of my bosses is changing for the better in a professional manner. I guess he has gotten used to me, so he keeps teasing me about some of the crappy assignments he gives me. haha. At least I know he is comfortable with me as an assistant, and I feel that I can really work here.

Now here are some of the personal changes that I am trying to go through in my life.

1. Eat Better! I am trying to make it a good habit of eating fruits especially during the summer months here in LA. I have made it a point this week to eat yogurt with raisins and peanuts or eat cereal with raisins and bananas. For dinner tonight, I had my strawberries with brown sugar and yogurt with fruit again. I want to get healthier and this is one thing I can control.

2. I want to lose weight. I hate the feeling of getting out of shape or just gaining "flab". Although I am pretty well proportioned for being tall, I would say I am top heavy, meaning I gain the weight in my stomach area. This has always been my least favorite part of my body. I gain weight here, and I can never seem to lose it. I have set a goal for myself to lost 12 pounds in one month, but it may be by the end of the summer. I have weight to shed in my bulbous arms as stomach/hip area. It is not that I want to be skinny, but I want to look fit and toned. I have to do it, and only I can do it!

3. I need to exercise! I started running this week, except I did not do it today...oops. I have been running everyday last week up until Tuesday this week. It feels soo good, but then I have quickly lost it. I think I found a gym that I may join for 35 bucks a month with a pool and weights. Otherwise, I have been running about 2 or 3 miles around my neighborhood from 7:30ish for an hour. Come the winter, I know I cannot do this anymore, but for now, I am enjoying running in the summer heat at this time of twilight.

4. I finally bought boots! I now have a small change in clothing! I have been needing boots for over 2 years now, and I just bought 2 pairs at Charlotte Russe. Buy One pair and get a second for 10 bucks! I got a black and a brown pair.

I feel like with my new attention on how I present myself in clothes, my new makeup look, and now boots, I am finally accomplishing my New Years Resolution about bettering my appearance. Looking and feeling good. I got the look, now I need to feel it. Let's go exercise. I will try to wake up earlier in the mornings to run, but we will see how well that works.

Anyway, here's to the upcoming changes... Changes at work, personal, and family (quick recap: sis now at college, brother moving to NYC, parents becoming empty nesters), I guess things are looking brighter? Who knows, but it will be an interesting few weeks. Until then... goodnight!

Quick Update!

Alright, so it has been a while since I posted something yet again. This time, it is not because I have fallen behind on my posts, but because not a lot has happened within the three weeks overall that made me feel I was behind. Honestly, there has not been a lot of change within the weekly routine of my time out here since the beginning of July. But being that this post is 20 days after my last one, here I am, going to update you all once again. Yay! haha

So where did I leave off? I am still working in the physical production department at Disney. I have now been here for a month and a half. Things are nice and steady. Two movies are picking up and taking flight, but I cannot give you the details. I am totally feeling comfortable around the people I work with now, and I feel my guard come down a bit. I feel that I am gaining trust of others and they are enjoying having me around. In fact, one assistant told me yesterday, there is no way they would let me go. I hope he is right!

Things, although calm, are getting busier. I am not just sitting around and doing the groceries, although I do it everyday, I have more to do now. This week I was given the task of getting availabilities of some illustrators, and although it took hours (I had to stay till 8:30pm one night), I felt used and needed. It felt good to do something that related to the production. Once I turned in my list and email, I got compliments from my bosses that it was exactly what they were looking for and wonderfully written.

I have also had a few challenges. One boss returned from 2 weeks in Tahiti (jealous much!?), and she had me write a letter to the President of Tahiti to protest the non-spayed dogs in the country... in french! It was hard because the online translators don't ever match what I need. For example, I needed "from" as in "I am writing this from Bora Bora." French has about 5 different words for "from" and the translators never get it right. This was challenging because I have not used my French for quite some time. In the end, I got it, and my boss was very happy.

Furthermore, I have been asked to be the first assistant to one of my bosses while the assistant went of vacation for a day here and there, so it has been nice to actually be the important person again. I can schedule and make meetings! woo hoo! Funny how I miss that power.

That has basically been my last three weeks! I have been getting out at 7 every night and it has been quite a calm summer. Quick enough update? Here come more posts...

West Coast vs. East Coast

After living here for a few months, I feel it is time to vent about some of the differences between the lifestyles of the east and west coast. I wrote this about a month ago, and I realize it still makes sense.

LA is a funny place actually. Nothing here makes sense. For example, one minute you are downtown in a hard urban street, and then you drive two blocks in, and you are in the suburbs. Fashion is based on accessories rather than the actual outfit you have on. There is more emphasis on the possessions rather than the living space, like a car or dog rather than the front yard or room decor. Honestly, if LA spent more time on the living spaces, then the roads would be a lot nicer than the cars that drive on them.

One thing I cannot stand about LA is how inconvenient it is. Everyone has a car, and thus no parking. Valet is a must, and it sucks to pay. You get tickets all the time, because the state is so broke, so they are super expensive. I just got one for 50 bucks. Nasty! There is no parking anywhere! I have had to leave and give up attending some of the parties or houses because I could not find a place to park. I do not want to park a mile away from my destination as a girl in an area I do know understand. I really have no idea how businesses survive when the customer's cannot park at their stores! How do they make money?

Then to make things worse, there is real no public transportation. Taxis are so expensive, buses are slow, and subway is not convenient enough to use to get around. This needs to change. Coming from NYC and Boston, I definitely have high expectations on this. In addition, there is no central "downtown" busy hub life of the city. Downtown is full of banks, and becomes a ghost town after dark. The night life is not in one central location, so you have to choose where to go for the night and hope it is busy.

LA is so full of different groups of people for all sorts of lifestyles, and I have no idea where I fit in. LA has beaches, mountains, the artsy culture, the corporate culture, the glamour culture... you name it, it is here. I am not the independent artsy type, so I would not live in that section of town. I want to be in a big downtown area like NYC, but that area in LA is a desert town at night. The corporate culture is full of banks and is pretty straightforward but uninvolved. Then the film/industry culture, which seems to involve everyone, is artsy and laid back. We wear jeans to work and work long hours with lots of time being unproductive. It seems people want to work from the hours of 2-4 and then everything is pushed to later in the day, hence the long work hours.

LA is full of labels. Artsy, hip, fit, producer, actor, classy, celebrity, hourly, rich, poor, etc. Also, depending on what area of town you live in, you have a different label describing your lifestyle. For example, if you live in Santa Monica you are the "beach fit gal" or if you live in Silver Lake of East LA, you are "hip, indie chick." I live in the Valley, so a "valley girl" of suburban lifestyle. If you live in downtown LA, then you are the corporate banker type. The list goes on.

Here is a list of the other differences that I have picked up on:

Have lunches and drinks with co-workers or networking contacts not dinners.

Weekly car wash appointments for a shiny car

Longer hours at work with less family time. No separation of family and work, they blend and boundaries don't exist

Higher divorce rates

Everyone is career focused and defined by their career, everyone is trying to be someone and view each other as competition

Sports fans not die hard or loyal, only popular when teams do well but pure EGO support, "fake" loyalty

Puppies are accessories

Mist is a flood in LA terms, people have no idea what to do or how to drive with rain and city shuts down.

Desert environment, everything is brown, I miss the green!

Everyone is physically fit and active.

Yougurts not ice cream,

Uggs and mini skirts are the combo of fashionable clothing.

These are just some. More to come. But still, it is enough for now.

A Sentence from God

Haha, I crack myself up. I am really going to sound bi-polar...yet again. I promise you I am not!! I can be a bit emotional at times, but never in public, only in my private mind and room. For those who do not know me, I hope you do not think I am crazy. I am really level headed, but I worry an extra lot; that is the way I have ALWAYS been! I hope I do not across in any bad light.

Okay. Got that off my chest.

Today was actually a good day. Nothing spectacular happened, in fact, it was the same old at work. Walked in, was told to run to Trader Joes for some groceries, returned, and in the afternoon, I filed a little bit. Overall... that is it. Really chill, and yes, a bit boring. I know there needs to be more to this job than just the groceries. Have I just come during a really bizzare funk time of transition I guess.

But what made today good were the small things. I feel like I got some signs that I am okay. First, I was included in watching a presentation with my boss that had Rich Ross and Sean Bailey speaking about the film slate for the next year or so. There was nothing there I was not already aware of, but I was happy to hear the leaders speak. I was also happy to remind myself that yes, I do know the Studios inside and out. In fact, I know more than some execs. There was one exec on the live action side that had no idea Tangled is coming out in Novemeber. Really? Someday I will be on top of this Studio, and the awareness of each department will be better.

The video was nice, and I think it shows an interesting future for our future. However, most of our films coming out were by the affiliates we have: Marvel, Miramax, and Touchstone. It may seem like we have 14-16 movies within the next year or so, but Disney Studios, as a production company, does not have much after Tron. I would tell you about what projects are starting, but it is confidential.

Anyway, the video was a great reminder to me that I am in the Studios that really value family entertainment. This is what I want to work for. So, I am in the right spot despite my bitching yesterday. Still don't know if that is film or TV, but I am in the right area for now.

Secondly, I had sent some emails to contacts yesterday. Well today, I got those responses, and they were most certainly needed. One producer in NYC will be happy to talk to me about his experiences. The local assistant to the EVP of Creative Production and I will have lunch sometime next week to offically meet instead of talk on the phone. The HR rep from the GMA job I applied for said she would be happy to help me find I job if I see an opening and to let her know. Awesome. Those are great supportive situations there.

Finally, I got an email from one of the execs I formally temped for two months ago. I had reached out to him to catch up and say I saw his name in the credits of TS3. He responded:

"Great to hear from you, and thanks for the kind words on TS3. Glad you found something on the lot...I like to think we are much more civilized over here. I'll keep you in mind for other opportunities, but hang in there as you've got talent and the right temperament and will find what you are looking for. Hope to see you soon."

Could he have phrased that any better? I HAVE TALENT! I cannot believe those words came from his mouth, or fingers as it was an email. He must have heard what I was complaining about yesterday. I seriously take this as a sign from God. How could I not? As I was really bummed last night, I prayed really hard telling God to give me a sign for some support and direction. This may not be a lead of direction, but this was support. What also gets me about this is, how does the exec know that about me when I only temped for him for 2 DAYS! He was the shortest assigment I had, and yet he knew that about me. Remember when I said in a previous entry that the smallest details really make the difference? This is one of those smallest details.

That small email and one specific sentence really meant a lot to me. It was just the little pick me up I needed today, and for that, my day was good. My back is still hurting pretty badly, but it is improving. Social life is pretty lonely, but maybe July 4th weekend will be busy. Overall, I am still taking it one day at a time...slowly...but surely... I can rest with that.