Weekly Dilemma... Smoothest or Hardest Course?

(written Wednesday 10/7- Sunday 10/10/10)

Alright, I have calmed down from my last post yesterday. Sorry, I just had to vent and this seemed a great platform to do so. How are you, my followers, doing? I hope you are all doing alright. The weather here is LA has been so strange lately. Always foggy, and not even around 70 degrees; just like Fall! YAY!

Well, like always, I have had a few thoughts running through my head this week, and I am not sure what to do. I have been struggling a bit over the last six months to find a job as you know. I seem to know a lot of people, and yet, nothing has landed. I know something will soon, but that is not the point. Throughout this process, I feel as if I have been open minded to where I land for the first job. Yes, I have an ideal start, but that is not the only thing I am pursuing. I have had interviews for all sorts of jobs, but lately, I have been thinking, maybe I am too picky? Have a been blind to what is right in front of me?

A few weeks ago, I gave a friend of mine a connection that led to a job. I acutally was able to give someone else a job. She was the second person I did that too. How am I able to help others but not myself? Funny, right? Well, I had an hour talk with her the other night about where she is currently working. She is working as a PA in an animation studio that does straight to DVD projects. She told me to not be picky and look into this. She absolutely loves her job, and the best part is: it's with Disney. She is so happy there. Her enthusiasm has made me second guess my process out here, hence my weekly dilemma.

Should I seriously consider working where I could have an easy in, even though it is not at all what I want to do, and still look for something else? Or, should I just work there, grin and bear it, and get experience knowing I will leave it soon? If I go to this department, would it be surrendering on pursuing my path for live television? Am I stupid for not going where I have this contact?

My arguement for taking it:

* It keeps me with Disney and making contacts, which is my ultimate goal for my career.

* I get production experience despite the medium

* Solves the "lack of experience" part of why I have not yet been hired

*Full benefits: health, dental, vision, and good salary

* Great influence and involvement in the creative process

Argument against:

* I love animation, but I am not into it as a career choice; I am one to push full force for what I want

* Once in animation, I hear it is hard to get out of it.

* Projects are years long, so I would be there for a while as a PA and not get other experiences

* I am not passionate at all about their projects

* Animation is all an office job, and I want to be moving around and not inside all day.

So what would you choose? I feel like I am walking a fine line and coming to a fork in the road. Do I take the unexpected and not really desired, but easily accessible, path? Or do I walk the unpredictable path in a direction I am unfamiliar with without knowing the promise it will take me to my desired destination? Am I closed minded for not wanting to take animation?

Depending on this decision, my job hunt will be severely affected. I am not bribed by money, or else this would be a simple choice, go with the animation job. However, I would not be true to my heart. In fact, I wrote an email referring another friend to my contact, and wrote a whole paragraph about how I would need a job too. I put the mouse on the "send" button, but I could not get myself to send it. I could not ask for a job in animation. I deleted the post and just referred my friend.

Is not pursuing that smart or stupid? Am I not logical for not taking it? I don't know, but one friend told me I am not that desperate yet, so I should keep going after what I want. I think I will take that advice for now. But that makes my wallet and stress a bit anxious!! I have been praying about this issue all week, but this is a hard one. I am just afraid of making the wrong decision.

Also, I have not heard from the temp agency since I last finished in Production over a month ago now. I am starting to feel the urgency of finding something soon. In fact, I applied to 24 jobs today. I hope to hear back from some of them soon. This unemployed game is really an emotional roller coaster! Plus being cursed with an over active/worried mind does not help my situation.

What are your thoughts? What path would you take? I hope your decision is as confident as I wish mine could be. I just feel at this point in time, I feel a calling for me beyond the animation/smoothest course path. I feel it is down the unpredictable one of live television with the hopes there will be something someday. Until then... I am trying to figure out my path. Enough thinking for tonight.

Night!

My First Money Mistake? Yes or No?

I am usually sooo good with my money, actually, about all the time. I only spend it if I have too. I have my savings and then I have my little spending money I allow myself; I am just frugal by nature, up until now at least. It seems I may have just made my first money purchasing mistake, but I am trying to debate why it is a good thing.

I went to try LA Fitness for the afternoon on Sunday, and I ended up liking it a lot. So, I immediately signed up for membership. The deal was 30 dollars a month for all access to California LA Fitness Gyms, I can bring 2 friends for free any time I come, attend all classes with no fee, unrestricted access to pool, sauna, weights, the whole deal, etc. Sounded great, so I got it. Thirty bucks is definitely do-able.

Well, here is where I get in trouble. They had a 1 hour session with a personal trainer free for joining and I took it. It was so good! I literally got my butt kicked. I had not worked out that many muscle groups in a long time, and I am soooo sore! It felt so great, but now I can barely walk.

After the session, I was so out of it, and they started talking money for the personal trainer program. I knew I could not stretch it, or at least hate spending the money on it. Then after refusing for a bit, they gave me a "deal" for 100 bucks a month to get me 4 training sessions. 25 bucks a week? Not too bad, if you think about it, that is about a trip to the movies and a drink, which I do normally. Then again, I am now paying 130 bucks/month for a gym! Ahhh! I thought I could cancel anytime, but I just got an email saying I was committed for 12 months and my only option to "cancel" within the next year is to "freeze" my program.

What if I absolutely cannot afford it!? Plus, I have no idea if I will even be here in LA for a year. What happens if I do have to cancel before the 12 months, do I have to pay it all in full? I read the fine print before I signed, as anyone should, and based on what the trainer was telling me, it seemed I could cancel as long as I give a 10-20 day notice before my next billing period.

Is this paying for a personal trainer good or a mistake? I know I can only get in shape from it, so for that, it is great. I need a trainer to push me; it is the only way I respond and challenge myself. I am able to be healthy by myself, but I need a coach to stay in shape (not just healthy), I respond better to structure and and outside force motivating me when it comes to excercise. I have come to see this "purchase" as an investment in myself. I will pay the money for a better me, to help me reach my goals, and feel good about myself.

However, I am afraid with not having a set job and other expenses just to cover, I am not going to be able to afford this. I just hope I can keep it going. The thought of $1300 a year for a gym scares my half to death because that seems like my entire life's savings! Do I even make that much?! haha, no, seriously! If it is so good for me, why do I feel stressed about this decision, as if I am throwing money down the drain?

I know I will have to make some cutbacks, but the thing is, I do not have much to cut back on! I only pay for gas, rent, food, and some fun. This July was so expensive for me in terms of those basics along with a car checkup, plane flight home, and contacts with eye exam. I know I need to start helping my parents out with my health and car insurance, and here I am signing up for a PT. I think I will cut back on my going out/fun habits, which would be my drink a week, weekly subway sandwiches, occasional movie, etc.

On a side note, I am also trying really, really hard to get to Orlando! I am sooooo close to booking a week flight in October, despite the job situation because I need to get my seasonal cast member hours done asap. That expense alone (plane flight + food) will be around 500 bucks.

Can you tell I am feeling a little stressed by this decision? What do you think? Is paying for the Physical Training sessions a good investment in myself or a mistake? I cannot wait for the day in which I have the means to afford a great lifestyle.