Back in Orlando!

(written on Monday 10/25/10)

Hey Bloggers!

Guess where I am? That is right! I am in Orlando! I am back for about 8 days to get in some seasonal hours. I am happy I went back three weekends ago because I only got scheduled 8 hours for my whole trip. Luckily, I have about 17 from last trip, so I need 24 to remain seasonal. I have 8, so now I need 16, and I just got approved for a shift exchange for another 8. Therefore, I am one shift short of my 40 hours needed to be seasonal. I really hope I can find one! It would suck to come this close.

Anyway, I am writing this as I am sitting at my old apartment by the pool. It is a whopping 92 degrees today, so it feels like summer! It is so warm. I forget what humidity feels like, but I got used to it in a matter of seconds. It is funny how quickly you can get back into the rhythm of an old routine. It seems like you almost never leave home.

I am a bit nervous about the ride situation since I cannot afford a car rental. I realize how far all of my CP friends have spread out, so finding rides is much harder this trip than I expected. I know things will be okay, but still it is a stress to make sure you get to where you need to go without bothering others.

I really hope to celebrate Halloween this week, but it seems like my normal party life has slowed a bit because we are all spread out now. Nothing good ever stays the same.

I flew in on Saturday morning after my first Red Eye flight from Burbank Friday night. I left at 9pm, and arrived at JFK 5:45am, and connected to Orlando. When I arrived, I had no sense of time whatsoever! I was so exhausted!! I just can never sleep on planes.

I had a good and relaxing day on Saturday and same with yesterday. I chilled by the pool, hung out with my best friend, and saw some others. I even played at Blizzard Beach just for fun.

I work tonight for the movie on the beach at the Grand Floridian, which is my favorite job to work. I love the calming nature of sitting by the water, talking to guests, giving them marshmallows, and enjoying a movie with fireworks all at once. I realize then how much I am lucky to work here. Hopefully it will be good. Then I work tomorrow at Blizzard, and Wednesday night for Campfire movie. That’s it! I hope to get one more shift, so we will see.

I have three meet and greets scheduled with different executives on property. One is in Broadcast Productions, another is in Fireworks/Live Entertainment, and the other is with Events. I hope to learn some new information about what is at WDW, in case I fail at my time in LA, I would have something to return too. I will let you know how all that goes at the end of the week.

Man, I forgot about the mosquitoes! They are coming around now, and they are annoying!! I keep getting bit, and I don’t want too! Darn my sweet German blood!

Oh! I forgot to update you. I did enroll this past week to the UCLA Extension program for internship credit. $550 worth of my savings, and money I am not making, to prove I am getting credit for this Conan internship. So as of Friday, I am officially enrolled and set to start working when I return!! YAY! It is a start!

Anyway, I think that is all I have to report. I love being back in Orlando, it feels great. I hope to see Harry Potter World, the Main St. Electrical Parade, and the new Tangled characters, as well as some other friends. Right now, the west coast seems light-years away, and I am looking forward to a nice week since this will be my last week to relax for a long while.

Until then… talk later!

Home Back East!

(written for Monday 9/20-Sunday 9/26)

Hey fellow Followers!

Guess what? I am home on the East Coast! No, I did not move back, but I am home for two weeks and a weekend in Orlando. I won't return to LA until Ooctober. That's crazy!It feels so good to be home. I have been home for about a week now, and it has been quite enjoyable. I basically came home quite unexpectedly for a few reasons.

Aside from wanting to see my family, I am mainly home to fix my back. Remember a few weeks ago I learned my insurance did not cover me in CA? Well, the only way for me to figure it out was to fly home and see the doctors here. So I got a ticket within the week, and flew home.

I cannot believe how warm it still is here! It is nice to feel the humidity too. My skin isn't crackling due to dryness, and there are green plants everywhere! How I miss the greenery! I am surprised the leaves are not changing yet, but it was a brutal summer in NJ without much water, so I do not think we will get the turn out like we did a few falls ago.

I was nervous coming home for two weeks because I thought a job would come up or something to prevent me from coming, but it has all worked out. No job, no commitment, and all the time to kill.

I have seen most of my family since I have been home. I have seen my grandmother, parents, cousins, uncle and aunt (mainly at the volleyball high school games, but so what). I have hung out with my grandmother almost everyday, which has been awesome. My dad is in DC, so I cannot see much of him, and I am spending some time with my mom.

Some activities we have done were eating lunch at the Subshop (my favorite), see my church, grandmother's house, a visit from an old CP friend and hiked through the Great Swamp area, and travel on the weekends.

This weekend I went to Brooklyn to visit my brother and see his apartment. The three of us traveled to Columbia to see a friend of ours play volleyball for Cornell. Then on Sunday, we all traveled to DC to see my sister's team play Georgetown, and she played!! She did so well.

Being home has been great because I have still traveled within the east coast, and saw everyone in my family except one brother. I got to watch football on the television saturday afternoon and Monday night. Perfect! And I get to see my kitties!

Overall home is wonderful. I have come to realize that I am definitely an East Coast girl. I will get my beginning experience in LA, and then I will return to the East if I do not go abroad. More to come on that later!

See you soon!

Temping for a Temp

(written on 6/18)

I am going home tomorrow, which means it is the end of another week. I do not mean to have a gap between these entries, but honestly, the offices have not been that busy as I learn more about the floor each day. The production offices are in this transition of time because there are not many projects coming out and the “New Regime” has not said “yes” or greenlit anything as of yet.

However this week was a bit ridiculous for the fact that I am not going to be here at all next week. I am going home to NJ for the week to see my family for various events. This is where the lines and rules of being a temp are a bit hazy. Because I am a temp, does that mean I can take time off whenever I really need, or because I am working, I need to make sure I am there all the time and not ask for time off? It is not like I have vacation days. I am not sure, but at least I am going home! I am so excited I can barely contain it!

So this week… well, tonight was the longest night I had to work since I started. I was given the lovely task putting together a party for the floor for Monday, and it was Thursday. That was not the proper amount of time I thought I would need. Not only that, but I was given very few instructions about what was needed. I thought this would be a great opportunity since I have a passion for throwing themed parties and events.

Anyway, this afternoon, I had to pretty much put everything together. I left work to go to Target and get all of the various drinks, plates, silverware, decorations, etc. Then I ordered food from a local Mexican restaurant for Monday, and made sure I was able to get a catering service come in and give ice, serve, and rent receptacles. I have no idea what the budget was, but I tried my best to make it manageable. By the end of the day, I was sweating as I carried everything by myself and set it up as well. I just hope it comes together on time. Too bad I will not be there to celebrate it.

So aside from that mini adventure, I typed the instructions for my replacement temp, so he would know just how the office operates. It was the first time I was now the one needing replacing. It felt great! I gave him all the instructions of how the floor worked and his responsibilities. I showed myself just how much I have come within the last 2 weeks, and I am quite proud. I am adjusting fine and okay. I am proud. Of course I still have my insecurities about the future and what I want to do, but I will go home, leave LA behind and clear my head. It is amazing what a good week away will do.

I am so excited to see my family. I miss them so much. Not seeing them makes this move a lot harder, so I am thankful for the chance to go. I will let you know what happens. But for now, there is no place like home.

One Week

One week. One week left of anticipation. Left of excitement. Fear. Hope. Nervousness. And a sense of purpose. One week from today, I will be in California enjoying my first night on the west coast.

I am getting a rush of emotions as the thought of what's to come gets closer and closer. I am unsure of what is to come, how long I will struggle, how long I will last, or if I am ever to return home again. I know I will visit for the holidays, but I think I am about ready to leave the nest as some say. I do not consider the upcoming move "leaving the nest" but I guess it is a big deal. I have no idea what awaits me, and the thought that I have one week left in suburbia is pretty exciting.

I love my home, my family, and where I am from but I am ready for a change. I think this was a long time coming, especially after I realized I have to postpone my dream of going to Europe for who knows how long.

Anyway, I am just getting ready for a big trip. I went shopping this weekend for some new professional clothing, and i am really happy with my purchases. I am not naturally a fashion forward person, but I really want to try this year. It is hard! All that I really need is a pair of black boots, a hand bag, and a LBT (little black dress for you boys reading this).

I found out this week that the car service we are using to ship out our car will only allow me to bring about two bags worth of stuff. So, I basically can only bring what I can carry. Some clothes, and my computer/printer, and an aero-bed. That's it I think.

I know that I will be sleeping on an air mattress for the next few months till I can afford a bed of my own. The thought of even owning a bed outside of my childhood room is actually really exciting! I cannot wait to paint my room and make it my own. To have my own place.

The more I think about it, it seems I am actually moving to gain my independence back. I will be on my own once again, and I am ready to try it. My life is not going anywhere here at home. I have an amazingly supportive family, but no social life. I have been feeling so isolated and alone lately. I will explain that more in another post.

Anyway, I am getting really excited about the move coming up next week. But that also means, I have a lot of last minute things I want to do at home. That list includes: seeing a musical with my friend (Wednesday), watching Alice and eating dinner with my mentor and family friend (Thursday), going to the MOMA to see Tim Burton's exhibit (Friday), Visitng my good friend in South Jersey and babysitting at night (Sat), then packing sunday and monday...off to CA TUESDAY!

It will go by so fast. This is the first week that I actually have something planned for the next few days. I love having an agenda again!

My mom told me something yesterday, about the move, and it really touched me. She said that I am going to have a great and fascinating life ahead of me. I really hope that is true. I do not want to just sit idly by and see difference opportunities fly away. I want to experience things in this world not many people get to do. I want a well-rounded, fun story-telling life. After all, that is the business I am entering into. I just wish it becomes as good as I dream it will be.

So one week, 7 nights, 6 days, that is all I have left in Chatham, NJ. Wow, here it goes. I trust God and what will happen, but it still doesn't mean I don't have my reservations. I just hope I find a step in the right direction to a career of good fortune and a way to find and discover who I really am as a professional worker. YAY!

Until then...Goodnight.

Orlando, a place called home

It is the end of another day, another day where I am not sure what I accomplished.  Each day feels like the one before it, and each weekday feels like a weekend, where no real significant events separate and define the days.  Some would call this a vacation, but I consider it the longest transition ever.

As of tonight, I left Orlando, Florida a month ago today. For those who do not know me, I work during breaks at Walt Disney World, but I recently had to leave.  The circumstances for why I left are insignificant now other than they were really out of my control.  Yes, I knew I was eventually going to leave soon, and I really just needed life to tell me when that time was.  That happened.  I left.  Honestly, if life didn't take control like I prayed it would, I don't think I would have left.  

I am the type of person who just wants to feel comfortable and like I fit in to my environment.  I never got that feeling with Boston (which will be explained in a later entry), and I never really felt that with my high school buddies.  Sure, I was liked and got along with others, but I never felt a coherent part of a group.  Of the group of girls I hung out with in high school, I don't see them that much because my dreams, goals, and personalities have always been different than others.  I have always been a bit of an outsider.  I don't mind it now, but it was awful during those middle school years.

Anyway, Orlando is basically the only place where I feel I can be totally me.  Totally free.  I explain to those who know me that I have two sides: my serious/northeastern side and my silly side.  I LOVE the person who I am when my silly side dominates.  In Orlando, I laugh as if I have never laughed before, act as if I am the super star in my own play, and honestly, I don't care who sees me.  When I am in NJ, I am expected to be serious, ambitious, professional, and well...reserved.  It is just the northeast way of life. 

Maybe it's the difference in culture, lifestyle, whatever; but I don't think so, for most of my friends I have in Orlando are not originally from Orlando.  They cross the whole span of the USA.  It is not the area that makes me love my life in Orlando, it is the people, the friendships.

These friendships are hard to explain to others outside of the Disney area, but there is just a strong and undeniable bond you have with any person you meet there.  People meet so easily because we all have given up a life back at home to be here, all here for the same reason: we all felt an urge to be there.  This bond becomes so strong, what would take 5 years in a friendship to know someone would take 5 weeks here.  This bond of everyone having to work together, live together, hang together, you actually HAVE to become friends or else you will be miserable.  People here come in and out so quickly, but we always find a way to come back.

This strong connection that I have with these people, is what many go without in a lifetime, and I am so lucky that I have experienced.  Looking back at it now, I can say that Orlando was where I became an adult.  I never felt so happy with myself, I learned so much of my good and bad qualities.  It has brought out the good in me.  It was my coming of age story.

This is why I have been going back for 3.5 years.  This is why I went back for 7 months after graduation. The friendships that I have feel as if they are unbreakable.  I wish I could take my friends with me wherever I go in life, but I know that cannot happen.

Orlando itself is not an area I would ever want to live life permanently, it is where I escape from it.  It is hard for my friends and family to get why I leave so often, and it is hard to tell my FL friends why I don't stay.  I just hope they get it eventually. 

But all good things come to an end.  I left a month ago today, and this day became the hardest day of my, young adult life.  Not an inch of my body and heart wanted to leave what is my home, but duty called.  It is hard to say that I am moving on, because I know it will never officially end for me.  As long as my friends are there, then I have a home to go back too, and how long can one deny returning home?

I believe whole heartedly that things happen for a reason.  I may not have been ready to leave a month ago, but there was a purpose to why I did.  I may not ever understand it, but it is all part of the plan.

This last month has been full of emotions.  Sadness, loneliness, fear, hope, happiness, anger, excitement... you name it I have felt it and still feel it.   

If you ask me "How am I doing?" Well...I am doing a LOT better. The days are getting easier.  At first I could barely hold back tears as I realized my move back home meant no independence. I felt as if I failed. I failed and came back with nothing more than 30 bucks to show for it.  Now the days go by with little to no excitement.  I wake up at 11.30, do sudoku, ride the excercise bike, go on the computer and apply for jobs.  That is my day.  There are days I get sad, but I realize that something bigger is coming.  I do not have tears anymore, but just the occasional sadness filled with great anxiousness.

I am realizing the fact that life is not meant to be planned and predictable, it's just the opposite. I am just glad I finally found the place and the people that I just click with, even if it was only meant to be temporary.  

I miss FL, Disney, my friends, my apt...my roommate especially.  I just cannot wait to return one day.  I just hope life points me in the right direction again because I surrender all control.

Thank you Orlando for your hospitality.  

It has been a month back in NJ.  Only God knows how much longer.

 

Unnerving Instability...

So it is the end of another week, and the beginning of a promising new one; except, I have no idea what to look forward too.  You see, life has really changed a lot for me in the last few weeks, and months.  Actually, now that I look back at it, I have never really had a moment of stability since high school.  

Ever since I went to school in Boston, every semester brought on new adventures.  My college experiences spanned various locations from Boston, Orlando, Chatham, New Zealand, Los Angeles, and various travel locations.  Confusing?  Try explaining this to strangers:  I went to school in Boston, while living/from Chatham, NJ, working in Orlando, and interning abroad.  Not the easiest summary, but hey, that was my life for the past 4 years.  

I spent only 5 semesters actually on campus, and graduated in 3.5 years and took a semester off for Orlando.  All except freshman year, I had a different roommate each semester.  I was abroad my entire senior year, and traveled to the other side of the world.  Through all of this, I have been through my fair shares of ups and downs.  And unfortunately, as I am quickly learning, life is not getting any easier.  Despite my various locations throughout my college career, I would say I had an ordinary experience like anyone else.

Anyway, more on college in another entry.  The point I am getting too, is that life is at such a crossroads right now, and I do not know where to turn.  I am looking for a direction, for a purpose, for a job, for a new start, and to claim my life as an adult, but life is still unstable.

I lived in Florida for 7 months prior to moving back home unexpectedly last month, and now I am back to where I started.  Has any progress been made?  Not sure.  And because life is so unsure at this moment,  I cannot tell you where I will be next week or when I plan on leaving.  It just depends on what job comes through.  I may just have to get up and go on a moment's notice, or I could be here for a year (God, I hope not).  I guess it is exciting, but it is more nerve-racking than i ever thought.  Life's stability isn't any easier than it was trying to figure out what college i would get accepted into.  I guess that is life's true lesson during this time.  

Oh well, I still have a lot to learn, and a lot to look forward too.  I am excited for life, and I am excited to move and find that stable location.  I may not be there forever, but I want a place to call my home away from home... to call my own.  I cannot wait for that day.

Down with instability! 

Blogging = new diary?

Welcome to blogging!  

Well, I guess this can be thought of as my first, real, current diary.  As a kid, I was never into diaries.  Easily frustrated with the fact my head thought faster than my hand could write, I gave up ever putting my thoughts down on paper.  My first diary has maybe 10 pages filled out from my 6 year-old self; and that includes some poorly attempted drawing.  I was never really one for the written word.  

But with recent events, my state of mind has been changing.  I have realized that I want to capture this time of transition in life forever.  Now just seems appropriate to start because my life seems so simple, yet it's so complicated in thoughts, anxieties and emotions.  Everynight I have the thoughts that go round and round in my head to the point I cannot sleep.  Surely I am not the only one, but I am tired of not doing anything about it.  

So this blog will be the beginning of a new experiement.  Let's see how long it lasts, since all of my previous dairies have really only had about 2 entries per book.  Maybe this time will be different.  I cannot make any promises, but I do promise to try my hardest, and to be as honest as possible.  With those two guidelines being the only regulations I have for this "diary" I guess I am excited to see what I have to offer you fellow strangers.  

To that...hello diary.  hello blog.  Here are the thoughts of my life: dramatic (maybe), random, biased, honest, and... overexposed.