One Week

One week. One week left of anticipation. Left of excitement. Fear. Hope. Nervousness. And a sense of purpose. One week from today, I will be in California enjoying my first night on the west coast.

I am getting a rush of emotions as the thought of what's to come gets closer and closer. I am unsure of what is to come, how long I will struggle, how long I will last, or if I am ever to return home again. I know I will visit for the holidays, but I think I am about ready to leave the nest as some say. I do not consider the upcoming move "leaving the nest" but I guess it is a big deal. I have no idea what awaits me, and the thought that I have one week left in suburbia is pretty exciting.

I love my home, my family, and where I am from but I am ready for a change. I think this was a long time coming, especially after I realized I have to postpone my dream of going to Europe for who knows how long.

Anyway, I am just getting ready for a big trip. I went shopping this weekend for some new professional clothing, and i am really happy with my purchases. I am not naturally a fashion forward person, but I really want to try this year. It is hard! All that I really need is a pair of black boots, a hand bag, and a LBT (little black dress for you boys reading this).

I found out this week that the car service we are using to ship out our car will only allow me to bring about two bags worth of stuff. So, I basically can only bring what I can carry. Some clothes, and my computer/printer, and an aero-bed. That's it I think.

I know that I will be sleeping on an air mattress for the next few months till I can afford a bed of my own. The thought of even owning a bed outside of my childhood room is actually really exciting! I cannot wait to paint my room and make it my own. To have my own place.

The more I think about it, it seems I am actually moving to gain my independence back. I will be on my own once again, and I am ready to try it. My life is not going anywhere here at home. I have an amazingly supportive family, but no social life. I have been feeling so isolated and alone lately. I will explain that more in another post.

Anyway, I am getting really excited about the move coming up next week. But that also means, I have a lot of last minute things I want to do at home. That list includes: seeing a musical with my friend (Wednesday), watching Alice and eating dinner with my mentor and family friend (Thursday), going to the MOMA to see Tim Burton's exhibit (Friday), Visitng my good friend in South Jersey and babysitting at night (Sat), then packing sunday and monday...off to CA TUESDAY!

It will go by so fast. This is the first week that I actually have something planned for the next few days. I love having an agenda again!

My mom told me something yesterday, about the move, and it really touched me. She said that I am going to have a great and fascinating life ahead of me. I really hope that is true. I do not want to just sit idly by and see difference opportunities fly away. I want to experience things in this world not many people get to do. I want a well-rounded, fun story-telling life. After all, that is the business I am entering into. I just wish it becomes as good as I dream it will be.

So one week, 7 nights, 6 days, that is all I have left in Chatham, NJ. Wow, here it goes. I trust God and what will happen, but it still doesn't mean I don't have my reservations. I just hope I find a step in the right direction to a career of good fortune and a way to find and discover who I really am as a professional worker. YAY!

Until then...Goodnight.

Legally Blonde!

As most of you know, I am BLONDE! I am not fake, highlighted or dyed blonde. I am an all natural B.L.O.N.D.E!

I mentioned before on my Body Types entry, that I had some insecurities of being yellow haired when I was a kid, but now I love it! It makes me stand out, and is the main description of how people remember me.

I do have the occasional blonde moments, especially when I am being silly. I don't mind, I can get away with them. But do not underestimate me! Unlike many of my fellow "fake" blondettes, I am a blonde full of ambition and drive. I am a blonde on a mission.

I identify fully with Elle Woods of Legally Blonde the movie. She was a leader of her sorority, liked by many, polite and sweet. She set her eyes on a goal to get into Law School and had a mission. The downside, not many people fully believed in her or took her seriously.

Although this is just a movie, I can definitely say that I have had my fair share of doubtful supporters. I am part of a minority in the world. Only 1-6% of all people are blonde, and that may extend to dirty blonde, strawberry blonde, and other mixes. I am a strawberry blonde in the winter, but in the summer I become super white like angel's hair. Anyway, I am in the 1-6%. That is smaller than many minority percentages. Being blonde comes with a stereotype of not being serious, being easy, and just floating through life. I take this as a giant challenge. I do not want to fall into that category or confirm others' doubts.

Like Elle, I need to and want to prove myself against the rest, and I feel that I have in many instances in my life. For example, at 15, I started EMT training. I was in a class of all adults, and I was often the brunt of a joke of varying topics (especially blonde jokes). After 6 months of classes, only 20% of my class survived the course, and only 50% of those left over passed the test. I did it. Not only that, I did basketball, track, school, volleyball, and maintained 4.0 gpa outside of the course. I was proud of myself. Other instances vary but include how I have ambitions to work for some top companies and get contacts that many people struggle too get (which I have done).

I think the biggest challenge for me is to get people to see beyond the blondeness at times. I understand it is their first impressions of me, but what I want people to know is that I am smart. Proving that I am smart is often harder than it seems, because some people are initially against it. How can a blonde be really smart? HA! Good joke!

Being called smart is really important to me because it tends to describe your ability to do a job or a talent. I would rather be known as the smart blonde than the other way around. Similar to Elle Woods, I am an intelligent person who happens to be blonde. She didn't get much credit about her intelligence, yet she finished top of her class (I do know it is also Hollywood, but it proves my point). I didn't graduate Magna Cume Laude in a top 50 school or graduate top 15% of my high school class based on how I looked. It was drive and discipline.

One instance where I ability and looks did not mesh was this summer. In FL, I interviewed with a restaurant. Although I had no restaurant experience, I wanted to host or waitress. I gave my resume and started to state why I could do it, but within 30 seconds the manager stopped me.

"You're hired." He said. "You look great, and you fit the body type we are looking for in our employees. So just come back for your official interview next week, but you are what we want just the way you are."

I never returned. It bothered me because he hired me only based on appearance... because I was blonde. He didn't care about work ethic or experience. Taking that job was against everything I believed in of proving myself. I know being blonde will probably help me in my career if we base things on looks, but I do not want that to be a reason why I get a job.

I am excited to work and prove everyone that I CAN do everything I set my mind too. At the moment, that is breaking into the entertainment industry. That alone is hard enough on its own. When I tell people that I want to work for the Disney Studios or become an Executive Producer, I get all sorts of reactions. "Oh that's really hard." "It's really competitive." "I have never heard someone who actually made it." "It's great to dream about it but realistically there are no jobs in that." The list goes on.

I do not shy away from the competition. I am already competitive, and I know this goal is realistic and practical. I hate cynicism, and I want to prove everybody wrong! I know what I am doing and I will not let their doubts get in my way. Watch me!

Like Elle Woods, who accomplishes everything she set her mind too, I know I can, no, WILL, do the same. I just happen to be blonde along the way. That is my mission. Take it or leave it, I will remain Legally Blonde!