Late Life Bloomer

Looking at my life, I guess like many people my age, I say how I am not as far as I would like to be in life. I thought that by the time I was 24, I would have completed two years of working experience, finished my first job and looking for a promotion, I would be living abroad studying for my business degree in London, and hopefully in a serious relationship and traveling the world/Europe.

Well, as you know, none of those hopes and dreams for myself have come true. I am not sad, but I am disappointed. Many say it's the economy, it's the job market, it's school competition or whatever. Say what you want of it, but I have just come to realize that it may be some or all of that, but in the midst of trying to put the blame somewhere, I have discovered that I am a late bloomer in life. I just need to accept that.

Think about it. First, the job. 2.5 years out of school, I am now just starting my first job. I have two years of work experience, but not consistent enough to get me a job promotion. I just landed my first real job - entry level job. Don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing. It was just the cards I have been dealt. I was not meant to get a job with the economy until now. As I look at Facebook and LinkedIn, I see there are several high school and college classmates that are now into their second or third jobs. Some have gotten great promotions and are making good money. Me... I just started. I feel somewhat behind I guess, but that is just what I was meant to be.

Second, apartment living... Many of my close friends as well as family members are more settled than I am. For example, my brother has had his own apartment fully furnished and decorated for over a year. As for me? I do not own a single piece of furniture. I don't even own the pillows that I sleep on. I am 24 years old, and at my age, my parents were already married and moved into their own apartment. I am no where near that stage in my life. Most of my friends who are living in other cities have their places/apartments, and some are now getting married and moving into a nice house. I just look forward to the day that I decorate my own room and have a place to call mine. I cannot wait!! But for now, I am still living in someone's place... a late bloomer for settling into my own space

Boys, Relationships & Marriage- Being that I am 24, I know I should not be really looking into getting married right now, but enjoying life as it comes. Well this is much easier said than done. At this stage in my life, I thought I would be in a serious relationship that was possibly close to engagement or at least heading there. I am no where near there.

I am just a late bloomer with any boy experience. In high school, I never dated. I had a few crushes, sure, but they went rejected and unnoticed. I couldn't get any boy's attention. Maybe it was because I was super busy, they were immature, or whatever, but it just didn't happen. I didn't have a boy friend in college either, and I didn't have my first kiss until I was 21 just because I gave up on the idea of making it special and was just curious about that part of life. Boys were just never a part of my life that I have experienced.

So coming back to relationships, I am also realize a late bloomer for this too. When majority of my high school friends have been in a 2-3 year relationship or are close to engagement, I have just had my first relationship of 8 months. He and I broke up for various reasons in August, and it was really hard for me. Guess I am also a late bloomer when dealing with your first heart-break. Go figure. My point was that at an age when my parents were already married, I am just entering the world of dating.

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight some of the ways I feel like I am either behind or just starting to come into my own. I am not trying to compare my life to anyone else's because I love my life. It is just I cannot help but to feel behind in several ways in terms of where society expects you to be, where I expected myself to be, and where I hope to be. I know my time is slowly coming just because I am starting to be able to settle now that I have the job. It just took two years to get there.

So to all my fellow late bloomers, don't rush life. I am trying not to sprint through it as I had been. Take the fact that in time you will become your own person with pride. It is something I am working on, and I am growing at my own pace. For that I am proud of myself.

One Year Anniversary

Can you believe it? I have now been in LA for over a year! On March 16th, my one year anniversary date passed. Congratulations.... to myself, I guess? Sometimes I cannot believe that I have made it this long, and other times it seems like it was just yesterday when I moved.

As I look back upon my year, I see that this year has been anything but stable. Emotionally, it has been the hardest year of my life. Mentally, I have found myself to be stronger than I originally thought, and weaker in others areas simultaneously. Physically, my body has been through a lot of ups and downs, and spiritually, I have had a lot of bumps as well. Now that I think about it, there has not been anything stable about this year at all.

Let's review... within the last 12 months, I have worked for top companies - Walt Disney Pictures, Disney Animation, Conan, Scott Rudin Productions, ABC- as well as gained some personal PA experiences - Kids Choice Awards, Hall of Game Awards, a short film and web series, etc. I guess I need to give myself more credit, because it seems on paper I have accomplished a lot, but I can feel quite the opposite majority of the time.

Some of the top experiences that have stood out in my mind range from my various work environments, to entering my first relationship. That's right, I have now entered the crazy world of dating. About time this came, right? Well, I won't say much because I want to keep it all private, but the guy is really great. He is tall, handsome, generous, and genuine. I feel so lucky to find someone out here so far away from home to connect with. Not sure what the future holds, but I am learning to take life one day at a time, and just enjoy the ride (a LOT easier said than done).

Looking back on the year though, other experiences that stand out.... hmmm.... I remember meeting my friend who ended up buying me over 600 dollars of makeup! It was my own Pretty Woman story. I think I wrote about it. If not, its on my other blog: http://ashleyread.tumblr.com/. I remember meeting a great group of friends, hosting my Fall Fiesta, attending the Tangled Wrap Party at the Chinese Theater, and attending my first concert as well as several others hosted by Conan's house band: Jimmy Vivino and the BCB. But probably one of the best experiences was having my family come and visit me during the Holidays. I could not afford to leave LA, so my family came to me. It was amazing.

I have to sometimes wake up and pinch myself realizing this is my life! Who knew that attending a holiday party with one of Time's most influential people and the industry's top writers would be in the cards for me? I feel so close to so many people, that I can't believe this is my life.

However, there is the other side to this story, that I am afraid to say, has dominated most of my emotions - the job hunt. This process has been one long and difficult road, harder than I ever thought it could be. I have never had to deal with this much rejection my whole life. As someone who accomplishes anything I put my mind to and usually gets it, not getting where I want when I want has been one tough pill to swallow.

If there is one word in summary that could define the professional aspect of my year out here, it would be: Networking! I have never hustled to meet new people as much as I have in the last year. Being unemployed and working various places has allowed me access to contacts I never thought I'd reach. I meet with 2-3 executives a week just to get their story of where they're from and how they got there.

I am a pro-networker and interviewee! If there is one thing I can do, it is network. I understand the value of a connection. Despite LA's "What can you do for me?" attitude towards life, I have found myself to be surprisingly un-jaded by the industry.

I will elaborate more on the job search in an upcoming post, but you can tell this has been one turbulent year. I look forward to the time in my life where I can look back and appreciate the risks I took to get here.

So emotionally and mentally, yes, it has been one turbulent year to say the least. Spiritually, I realize how much being a Christian means to me, and just how much I cannot handle life on my own. I know there is a divine plan for me, but the path to finding it has been so hard. I don't even know if I am on the right path most of the time. I just have to learn to trust God, and life will work itself out. I wish I could be more involved with Church, but I am not settled enough in life to do that yet. Someday, yes. Same with working for charities or volunteering. I want to become more involved with that, but I am just not there yet in life. I have to remain patient that it will come.

Now that leaves physically. Well, as I posted months back, I joined a gym and incorporated it into my daily life. By the holidays, I had lost 18 pounds, and I was in the best shape of my life. I reached my goal weight, not ideal, but goal, and I felt so good! Unfortunately, that was short lived because my back acted up again, and I lost feeling in my left leg. My exercise routine after the holidays, never returned as strong. I still have a net-weight-loss that fluctuates from 10-14 pounds. I seem to be at a stand still with losing wight, but I am happy that I am a lot more toned than I was a year ago, which was the real goal. I am definitely learning to really love my body the way it is, but it is annoying that I cannot shake the remaining 8ish pounds I lost a few months ago.

Overall, I know I am really lucky to have the life I have. Although it is nowhere near easy, I have been able to survive in LA for a year. Not many people can say that. Knowing that only 1% of the world that dreams of being in this business actually moves out here to do it, keeps me going. I am so lucky to have the family and support that I have, and I miss them all. This year, although turbulent, has brought me some unexpected, and unplanned, surprises. Hopefully a job will just follow soon, but until then... goodnight.