Family Reassurance... I am Actually Ok.

(written for the week May 14th)

Has it really been over a week since my last post? Time just seems to go by so fast sometimes, even when there are times where I feel it goes sooo slow. Funny thing, time.

Well, I am back, and I would like to say I have a lot going on, but unfortunately, I do not. I did not have a temporary assignment this past week, and I ended my animation studios assignment last Friday. It was a great day to end on also.

It was the rededication ceremony for the Animation Building. They were changing it to the "Roy E. Disney Animation" building. I was able to attend the meeting where Bob Iger spoke, as well as successful producer Don Hahn, and Roy Disney's son. All of Walt's remaining family was also present along side with 320 D23 winners to attend the event. Music played, talking about Roy's legacy, and then Mickey came out to the Fantasmic theme to unveil the new building name. I have some pitcures on my other blog, Fair Vanity. It was a great event that solidified another reason why I love to work here, despite it being my last day, yet again. I really liked working in the department I was in this past week and a half, but it wasn't overwhelming to the point where I said, "I want to be here." I am still keeping my options open.

Anyway, to this past week since then was not one about work, but one about family. I was in between temping jobs, but the timing worked out great because my paternal grandmother was in town. I stayed with her and my aunt, uncle and cousins for most of the week to be with them. I don't get to see my grandmother that much, and she only comes out here every 3-4 years, so this was a great treat. I wanted to show her my current living situation and work life.

She came in on Sunday, Mother's Day, and we just hung out, had a family dinner, and planned our next few days. I called my mom to make sure she felt appreciated. My aunt got U2 tickets! That was a great gift.

Monday, I took my aunt and my grandmother to Disneyland. It is great getting in for free! My grandmother hadn't been there for 20 years, and my aunt about 5, despite living so close. It was fun, but they liked the slower rides, so I had to resist the TOT and Splash. We only stayed for half the day though, but it was all we needed. There were few crowds and only about 10-15 min waits. So by 3pm, we were basically all done with Disneyland. It was great to go on Jungle Cruise, Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Small World, and the Matterhorn with them. We took only one picture the whole time, but it was a good one. (also see my Fair Vanity for that). I will remember that for a long time.

Tuesday, I took both of them to my area: Burbank. I drove them to my apartment and showed them around. Then we went on the lot for lunch in the ABC commissary. It was the first time my aunt had been in a corporate setting, so this was a new experience for her. After lunch, I took them around the lot and told them some trivia based on what little I really know. I walked them by the stages, the Disney Legacy handprint section, and then headed over to Animation. In there, I met with my roommate and we gave them the tour of the building. They saw everything from the process of the Winnie The Pooh movie, some of Tangled, and some of the cool perks (i.e. cereal bar). They also saw a sequence in the making for WTP, and it was an eye opening experience for them. They looked like they discovered hidden treasure; they were so happy.

I had to leave Wednesday for a meeting, but we enjoyed our last 24 hours together. My grandmother explained to me how proud she was of me. She had no idea what this industry was like, and the type of people that work in it. It was so nice to hear her understand where I have been coming from for the longest time. It made sense.

I must say too, that hearing her reaction to everything, was definitely needed. I have always been my toughest critic. I am so hard on myself and I have no idea why. So when I look at my life here now, I say, "It's okay, but I don't have a job, not sure I want to live here forever...", but seeing it through my grandmother, it made me appreciate what I have.

She was right, I have a lot to be proud of myself for. I am in the world that I have wanted to be in, I am in the company I want to work for, I know people (more than I thought), and it will just take time. I really need a good dose of patience. I am so antsy, but like gma said, I am doing alright. I looked at what I have done in so little time, and yes, I am proud of myself! People recognized me in almost every hallway it felt, I knew my way around town, I have a great place to live with a great roommate. Those are all valid points, but they get lost once I am on my "antsy" train of thought.

Another reason why I know I am doing okay, is because I am never still. I am always busy! I have meet with somebody every single day for the last three weeks, and this week is the first time I have had a "lapse in employment" since I started. People tell me I am doing the right thing, and something will come. I just need to be more Patience.

So after such a rewarding trip with my grandmother, when I returned to my apartment, and I found my first package! I got a package from my mother. Perfect timing. It had some small surprises, clothes, volleyball stuff, but most of all, it had a short note saying I am doing a good job.

So with that, I realize I need to slow down for a second and reflect. I will continue to pray for patience, but I really needed this week to re-evaluate where I am in life. With my recent family reassurance and support, I now see what I have accomplished in 6-7 weeks, and yes, for the first time I can say, yes, I am okay. That is true reassurance, and a sigh of relief. Praise be to God.

One Month Down

(written yesterday, 5/4)

Wow. It has been one month since I moved to my apt. Yes, I have been here for a month and a half, but only in my apt for a month. It went by fast and slow at the same time. I am happy to say that the rooming situation is working out at the moment. My roommate is sincere, laid back, and knowledgeable. I guess it really is a good thing to have a roommate that is older than I am, so I can get a difference perspective. I am not used to talking to an older person who is not related to me, as I have always been the oldest.

I have gotten used to sleeping in my room. It has a few decorations, but not much. The shadows and creaky floor do not creep me out as much as they used too.

I am also finally into my nightly sleeping habits. I am back onto staying up late and getting up early. Which is good. I think I am finally used to working the hours again. I am not as tired as I used to be, but still exhausted around midnight. It is good to have that routine back.

Now outside of the rooming situation, I am still adjusting to LA life. I was hoping at this point I would be able to say that yes, I like LA and this is where I want to stay. But unfortunately, I sitl can't. I don't know if it is I do not like it, or if I am just lonely, or what the issue is, but I am not connected to it yet. It will take time, especially to find the social life I am looking for, but I don't see myself staying here for long.

I love the weather and the outdoor activities around the area. I like the people in general, and I like the different forms of entertainment. But overall, this is not my city, and I cannot call it home yet.

LA is a funny place actually. Nothing here makes sense. For example, one minute you are downtown in a hard urban street, and then you drive two blocks in, and you are in the suburbs. Fashion is based on accessories rather than the actual outfit you have on. There is more emphasis on the possessions rather than the living space, like a car or dog rather than the front yard or room decor. Honestly, if LA spent more time on the living spaces, then the roads would be a lot nicer than the cars that drive on them.

One thing I cannot stand about LA is how inconvenient it is. Everyone has a car, and thus no parking. Valet is a must, and it sucks to pay. You get tickets all the time, because the state is so broke, so they are super expensive. I just got one for 50 bucks. Nasty! There is no parking anywhere! I have had to leave and give up attending some of the parties or houses because I could not find a place to park. I do not want to park a mile away from my destination as a girl in an area I do know understand. I really have no idea how businesses survive when the customer's cannot park at their stores! How do they make money?

Then to make things worse, there is real no public transportation. Taxis are so expensive, buses are slow, and subway is not convenient enough to use to get around. This needs to change. Coming from NYC and Boston, I definitely have high expectations on this. In addition, there is no central "downtown" busy hub life of the city. Downtown is full of banks, and becomes a ghost town after dark. The night life is not in one central location, so you have to choose where to go for the night and hope it is busy.

LA is so full of different groups of people for all sorts of lifestyles, and I have no idea where I fit in. LA has beaches, mountains, the artsy culture, the corporate culture, the glamour culture... you name it, it is here. I am not the independent artsy type, so I would not live in that section of town. I want to be in a big downtown area like NYC, but that is a desert town at night. The corporate culture is full of banks and is pretty straightforward but uninvolved. Then the film/industry culture, which seems to involve everyone, is artsy and laid back. We wear jeans to work and work long hours with lots of time being unproductive.

I like the beach, but I am not a beachy person. I want to play volleyball really badly, but I would not say I am the right "beach" culture person to live there. Then there is Hollywood. I am not into the heavy party scene that is a bit trashy and sluty. Sorry, just not happening.

In all, I need to find my niche. There is a lot to be offered here, but I don't know what group to connect myself too, especially to live. I hope that comes in time.

That brings up my next point. How long do I want to stay here? I am not sure. How long is adequate time to say I tried it and move on? I am assuming a year, but I cannot even see myself waiting for a job that long. I know I need to start my career here, but I miss my family, I miss being in a historic culture. More than anything, I want to be abroad.

I thought by moving here, I would be over the travel bug and the desire to work in another country. Nope. Last night, I got a text from my high school friend saying she got a job in China, and will move there for a year in two weeks! What? She has never even studied abroad, and now she is leaving for a foreign culture just like that? I always thought that would be my adventure. Instead, I am here in LA trying to find a job not traveling.

I think I will get back into looking abroad for working possibilities. I have always pictured myself working in London for two years between the ages of 24-26. That time has almost come, and I want to o through with it. I see myself there in a year from now even if I get a job here in LA. I do not want to miss out on a time in life where I could have traveled and didn't. One thing is for certain, I cannot get this desire to be abroad to leave me, so maybe that is a possible calling. Starting next week, I will look to see what there is.

I just want to get started on accomplishing my life goals, and waiting around for a job is not cutting it. I want to travel in my down time, I want to write my children's book, I want to be accomplishing something despite the economy.

I have no idea how long I will be in LA. I see myself here for a few months, but then abroad come the fall if I do not have a job. I know this is where I need to start my career, but not sure if it is where I want to keep it. I just want to see more of the world that I have not seen. I should not just focus myself as to what is here in LA. Keep my options open. With that concept, I will also keep my options open to find my niche here too. I don't know if I fit any of the LA "labels" as I call them, but I think I need to give it more time.

Finding a Place to Live

(Written for the week of 3/29-4/2)

I previously bogged about how each week, I have a different goal in mind to adjust myself slowly to my new environment. Last week, my first week, I was to get acquainted with work. This week, my goal is to still adjust to work, but also find a place to live. Now that I have my car, I am free to go looking, however, I am trying to keep my options limited. The last thing I want is to have too many options that I overwhelm myself, so I have allowed myself three options.

The first, is with my high school classmate and friend. She lives inthe more hippy and independent music scene of LA. I am not that person, but it would make it an interesting place to live.

The second, is a woman is a Disney executive. What a great chance to network. She lives in this great upscale condo in a nicer suburb, a nicer suburb of LA where most people want to end up. It is next to Burbank in the Valley, and only 2 miles from work. However, she wants more of a private lifestyle, and I am not sure that is me either. It is more expensive than I want and includes no furniture, but I can make it work if I have too.

The third option that I met with this week is with someone I met through the Hub (Disney Employee Website). She, too, a Disney cast member, is about 2.5 miles from work in a nice neighborhood off of some busy streets. Although it is quiet, I have my own room with furniture already in it. The girl seems nice and social, and she comes with a cat.

Based on my three options, I choose #3. I felt awful leaving my high school friend who needed someone, but I just felt a lot more comfortable with this place. It is cozy, safe, pleasantly quaint and we get along personality wise. I am central to all highways, not far from Hollywood, and 10 minutes from the Burbank airport.

I negotiated only a three month lease, because I have no idea what is going to happen come June. So as of now, I have a place to live! I cannot paint or decorate the room, since I may only be there a short time. It comes with a day bed and trundle bed, cable tv in the room, a computer desk, a night stand, and a large closet. The condo itself has washer and dryer in unit, two bedrooms, 1.5 bath, a patio, two stories, and utilities are included. I pay a fair rent for the room, furniture, gas, electricity, water, cable, internet, and a cleaning lady who comes twice a month. Not bad. I am really lucky. Although I would normally be stressed with the rent that high, it is normal for LA, and I am actually making some money, so I will be alright.

So there you have it... I found a place to live for the next three months. Temporary, but something. I won't move in until after Easter, so I will let you know how it goes. Just another step in the right direction, slowly but surely. Adjustment #2, accomplished.