Family Reassurance... I am Actually Ok.

(written for the week May 14th)

Has it really been over a week since my last post? Time just seems to go by so fast sometimes, even when there are times where I feel it goes sooo slow. Funny thing, time.

Well, I am back, and I would like to say I have a lot going on, but unfortunately, I do not. I did not have a temporary assignment this past week, and I ended my animation studios assignment last Friday. It was a great day to end on also.

It was the rededication ceremony for the Animation Building. They were changing it to the "Roy E. Disney Animation" building. I was able to attend the meeting where Bob Iger spoke, as well as successful producer Don Hahn, and Roy Disney's son. All of Walt's remaining family was also present along side with 320 D23 winners to attend the event. Music played, talking about Roy's legacy, and then Mickey came out to the Fantasmic theme to unveil the new building name. I have some pitcures on my other blog, Fair Vanity. It was a great event that solidified another reason why I love to work here, despite it being my last day, yet again. I really liked working in the department I was in this past week and a half, but it wasn't overwhelming to the point where I said, "I want to be here." I am still keeping my options open.

Anyway, to this past week since then was not one about work, but one about family. I was in between temping jobs, but the timing worked out great because my paternal grandmother was in town. I stayed with her and my aunt, uncle and cousins for most of the week to be with them. I don't get to see my grandmother that much, and she only comes out here every 3-4 years, so this was a great treat. I wanted to show her my current living situation and work life.

She came in on Sunday, Mother's Day, and we just hung out, had a family dinner, and planned our next few days. I called my mom to make sure she felt appreciated. My aunt got U2 tickets! That was a great gift.

Monday, I took my aunt and my grandmother to Disneyland. It is great getting in for free! My grandmother hadn't been there for 20 years, and my aunt about 5, despite living so close. It was fun, but they liked the slower rides, so I had to resist the TOT and Splash. We only stayed for half the day though, but it was all we needed. There were few crowds and only about 10-15 min waits. So by 3pm, we were basically all done with Disneyland. It was great to go on Jungle Cruise, Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Small World, and the Matterhorn with them. We took only one picture the whole time, but it was a good one. (also see my Fair Vanity for that). I will remember that for a long time.

Tuesday, I took both of them to my area: Burbank. I drove them to my apartment and showed them around. Then we went on the lot for lunch in the ABC commissary. It was the first time my aunt had been in a corporate setting, so this was a new experience for her. After lunch, I took them around the lot and told them some trivia based on what little I really know. I walked them by the stages, the Disney Legacy handprint section, and then headed over to Animation. In there, I met with my roommate and we gave them the tour of the building. They saw everything from the process of the Winnie The Pooh movie, some of Tangled, and some of the cool perks (i.e. cereal bar). They also saw a sequence in the making for WTP, and it was an eye opening experience for them. They looked like they discovered hidden treasure; they were so happy.

I had to leave Wednesday for a meeting, but we enjoyed our last 24 hours together. My grandmother explained to me how proud she was of me. She had no idea what this industry was like, and the type of people that work in it. It was so nice to hear her understand where I have been coming from for the longest time. It made sense.

I must say too, that hearing her reaction to everything, was definitely needed. I have always been my toughest critic. I am so hard on myself and I have no idea why. So when I look at my life here now, I say, "It's okay, but I don't have a job, not sure I want to live here forever...", but seeing it through my grandmother, it made me appreciate what I have.

She was right, I have a lot to be proud of myself for. I am in the world that I have wanted to be in, I am in the company I want to work for, I know people (more than I thought), and it will just take time. I really need a good dose of patience. I am so antsy, but like gma said, I am doing alright. I looked at what I have done in so little time, and yes, I am proud of myself! People recognized me in almost every hallway it felt, I knew my way around town, I have a great place to live with a great roommate. Those are all valid points, but they get lost once I am on my "antsy" train of thought.

Another reason why I know I am doing okay, is because I am never still. I am always busy! I have meet with somebody every single day for the last three weeks, and this week is the first time I have had a "lapse in employment" since I started. People tell me I am doing the right thing, and something will come. I just need to be more Patience.

So after such a rewarding trip with my grandmother, when I returned to my apartment, and I found my first package! I got a package from my mother. Perfect timing. It had some small surprises, clothes, volleyball stuff, but most of all, it had a short note saying I am doing a good job.

So with that, I realize I need to slow down for a second and reflect. I will continue to pray for patience, but I really needed this week to re-evaluate where I am in life. With my recent family reassurance and support, I now see what I have accomplished in 6-7 weeks, and yes, for the first time I can say, yes, I am okay. That is true reassurance, and a sigh of relief. Praise be to God.

Day with Grandma

Today was just a normal day in the average life at home for me.  The only thing that made it truly spectacular was I spent all day with my grandmother.  

For those of you who do not know my family, my grandmother is the most important influence I have in my life.  I have been blessed to know both of them very well, especially to have one living just down the street (maybe actually 6 blocks).  Having my mom's mom so close to us has its advantages.  I get to see her whenever I want.  Due to this closeness, she and I have formed the most special relationship anyone could ever ask for.  

Most people look at my grandmother and understand immediately that she is a kind and gentle spirit, but she is so much more than that.  She is my best friend, my mentor, my guardian angel.  I cannot imagine a day without her.  In fact, I tell her more about my life than I do my own mother and friends.  She and I share the same beliefs, hopes, dreams, and faith.  She is my rock.

We have some people who comment on our relationship saying, "I could only wish my granddaughter would love me as much as you love her."  Some say it's inspirational, and I cannot deny it.

Okay, with all of this understood, that would explain why I spent all day with her today.  I have recently lost my grandfather, her husband whom she was married for 54 years.  When I talked to my grandmother the night he passed, she told me, "I need you here.  For me."  I knew then that my time in Florida was going to be cut short.  I miss grandfather very much, and it is often hard to go to their house without feeling some loss.  It makes me wonder, if I get sad, than how is my grandmother doing?  

She is so strong.  I love the way she looks at life and deals with it.  I never see her upset despite how stressed she must be with his recent passing.  I am afraid to leave her alone, so I make sure we see each other about every other day.  We have even discussed me moving in with her just to keep her company.  But her company is one of the true blessings of being home.  What more could I ask for?  She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and I only wish I could be half of what she is some day.

Since I have been home, our activities and outings have ranged from: lunch at her house, her home cooked meal dinners, movies (such as Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Proposal, In Good Company), drinking at Starbucks, and much more.  As much as she says she needs me, I need her just as much.  Seeing her makes living back at home all worth it.

So today was another great day.  We had lunch at Charlie Browns, one of the three restaurants in town, watched some youtube videos, baked cookies, had dinner with my family, and watched Glee.  Nothing spectacular, but at the same time, extra special.

Even though we have a two-generation age difference, our lives seem to have many parallels.  The one we talk about a lot is our seperation from our closest friends.  I will share stories of my times with my roommate in Florida as she will of my grandfather.  We talk about how our time was cut short, how much we miss them, and how much we miss being with them.  This has made our transition so much easier for both of us.

My grandmother makes me realize how much I can accomplish in this world, and she makes me want to be better.  She shows and lives me the true definition of love.  Nothing can express how much a hug, or a hand rub, or any type of affection means from her.  If I ever feel scared or lonely, I know she will always be there.  She has been there through all of my worries, even when I call her as she tries to sleep at night.  She tells me of my future's potential, gives great and critical advice, speaks with an open mind free of bias, and always says, "I love you" at the end of each conversation.  She is the pentacle of unconditional love.

Too sappy?  I think not.  This is how I feel, and I want to express it.  I love my grandmother very much, and saying those words cannot even measure all that I feel for her.  I am so happy she is in my life.  I just pray she is able to get through this tough time knowing that I support her, whole-heartedly and unconditionally.   I love you, grandma! xoxox

I cannot wait to see her again tomorrow. :):)