What’s Done is Done

Monday, May 23^rd)

One more thing I would like to address before bedtime.

I went to the Doctor today for my back. Not sure if you guys know, but I hurt my back over the holidays this year and I never fully recovered. Although I am fine now and feel no pain, I have had some side effects. I have lost feeling in my left leg in some areas.

My pinky toe is constantly on pins and needles, as if it is always asleep. That tingling sensation travels along the left side of my food to my heel. Then from the Achilles tendon put to a few inches higher than my knee on the back of my leg, I have no feeling at all. It is just numb. I was hoping there would be a chance to restore some of the feeling back, hence the doctor’s visit.

Well, the news is what I expected, but not what I wanted to hear. Because I have such a major disk herniation, the nerve is ultimately dying. Once a nerve decides to stop working, it is permanent. Unless my body decides to heal itself somehow magically, I will have to live with loss of feeling the rest of my life.

I remember learning this through my science days. I know the nerves in the nervous system do not have the same reproductive abilities as say blood cells do. It has to do with the synapses and communication between the nerve endings. Like an electrical circuit, it can just short circuit and never work, and ultimately has to be replaced. Well you cannot replace your nerves, so I will just have to live with it.

I know that as frustrating and annoying loss of feeling really is, I could have so many other problems to live with. I am lucky it is only this. I mean, I don’t have Rheumatoid arthritis like my mother has to live, or a real illness. This is just inconvenient.

Anyway, what is done is done. There is no treatment, and it is irreversible. Oh well. I just hope that I stay in good enough shape the rest of my life to prevent it from getting worse. Just thought you should know.

Night!

Diagnosis, Doctor!

(written for Monday 9/27- Thursday 9/30)

I am almost on my way to getting my back fixed! YAY!!

Since I have been home, I have been going to the NJ Spine Center in Chatham, NJ. They have been wonderful, and the doctors are really easy to talk too.

I have had an idea for the last few months what is wrong with it, and I can now say... I was right! I knew my disk in my lower back was out of alignment which was leading to a pinched nerve in my left leg, but I did not know what I would have to do about it.I had an MRI done last week, and those images made my back look like a piece of meat! It was so weird to see those detailed images of yourself, but awesome at the same time.

Anyway, long story short, I have a degenerative disk in my lower back, specific to the L5S1 disk. That is right where my tailbone meets my hips basically. The disk has lost its elasticity and fluid, so it is cracking and dying. It will never be fixed, but my body will slowly get rid of it like a splinter. However, the disk is pinching my nerve to my left leg, which is why I cannot sit, sleep, walk or flex my foot without pain. Because it is being pinched, it is really swollen, and we need to calm the nerve down and make it realize it is okay with the disk invading its privacy. To do that, I have a few options, but settled on one.

We were thinking of getting an epidural injection of the steroids/anti-inflammatories into the site where it hurts, but I would rather try something noninvasive, especially since we don't know how long that will last. I will perhaps need surgery down the road, but not now this early in my life. So the last option is to use physical therapy to strengthen my core back muscles and take the anti-inflammatories.

The Doctors said for me to have a healthy back the rest of my life and avoid this again in the future, I must stay in shape. I have to be physically active as much as possible. I took that as, I should try and avoid a desk job. The more I sit around, the more it will weaken my back. So I have to be active and moving for it to be healthy. The only catch is, I can barely move without pain, so how can I be active when it hurts?

That is what I am working on now. I got some exercises for my back and core that I must do everyday. It is in my own hands to heal myself. I am actually excited about this diagnosis because I now have to be active for my own health. I now have to be selective about a job for health reasons. So with this information, I will try to avoid a desk job as much as possible. I need to look for work that is half active and half desk. This I could not be more excited about anyway.

So here is to a new and healthier me! I am glad I have a good future with my back. But here is to a harder and more selective job search! great! (note sarcasm).

Anyway, thank you, mom and dad, for bringing me home and helping me out with the doctors. Mission to NJ accomplished!